The surprising secrets of highly happy marriages

Every single day in June about 13,000 American couples will say “I do,” but for many of them it just doesn’t work out.  Every relationship will face tumultuous times.  Through the bad times, enquiring minds want to know, what will make my marriage work?  Today I’m going to share four simple, yet surprising truths about how to have a successful family. 

Christians who attend church have a 25-50% lower divorce rate.

Following biblical principles always makes marriage better.

What Loving Wives do to Contribute to a Happy Family 18

Godly wives submit to their husbands. 

Sweet submission is one of the incredible secrets of a happy marriage. 

Submission is showing loving support and genuine respect for the husband.

It is “a voluntary attitude of putting others first. 

Submission is the key to marital harmony. 

Everyone needs someone to cheer them on.  We need more encouragers. 

What Loving Husbands do to Contribute to a Happy Family 19

Godly husbands demonstrate the attitude of a loving servant.

A loving husband will show honor and respect to his wife. 

Self Sacrifice is at the core of our relationship with God. 

Love is about loving like Jesus loved! 

Bitterness can destroy your attitude and ruin your marriage. 

We become bitter when other people don’t meet our expectations!

God never meant for you to force other people to obey.  That’s not your job. 

What Loving Children do to Contribute to a Happy Family 20

Children who love Jesus will want to obey their parents. 

Children should learn to obey their parents in all things.

Rebellion brings chaos into a family.

Obedience brings harmony and joy into a family. 

What Loving Fathers do to Contribute to a Happy Family 21

Godly fathers encourage their children.

Is your fathering resulting in frustration or harmony?

Too much teasing becomes exasperating to children. 

Father’s discourage their children through anger and injustice. 

Fathers have an incredible, powerful influence on their children. 

Listen, this is not rocket science.  These principles are not new but they are true.  They have been around for thousands of years, and they are just as true today as when the ink dried on the page.  It’s all about your attitude and behavior.  If you want to change your family, you must change your attitude.  Don’t be selfish, be submissive!  Don’t be self centered, be considerate and loving!   Don’t demand your own way, be obedient.  Don’t be a frustration, be an encourager.  The surprising secrets are out; People who apply biblical principles are more likely to have a happy marriage. 



Every single day in June, the most popular wedding month of the year, about 13,000 American couples will say “I do,” committing to a lifelong relationship that they hope will be full of friendship, joy, and love that will carry them to their final days on this earth; except, of course, it doesn’t work out that way for some of them.[i]

I have performed nearly a hundred weddings in the last 30 or 40 years.  Some of them made it, and some of them did not.  Some of the couples that I thought would succeed, did not.  And some of the ones that I was betting against, surprisingly are still married. 

Every relationship will face tumultuous times.  Yours will.  Finances will be depleted, tragedy will strike, people will change, children will rebel, spouses will say and do damaging things, and troubles will come cascading into the family like a deluge during a winter storm in Oregon. 

Through all these things, enquiring minds want to know, what will make my marriage work?

If you have been with me, for any period of time, you have probably heard a message or two on the family.  I have preached nearly 100 messages on the family and have written a book on it called “God Strong Families.”

So you are not likely to hear much of anything new that I haven’t already said, but you are likely to hear everything true from God’s Word.  Not new, but true.  Truth this good deserves to be repeated.  And today I’m going to share four simple, yet surprising truths about how to have a successful family.  I’m going to share with you what love really looks like.

Let me just start with something new.  Do you know all those studies we’ve heard about that claim that over 50% of all marriages fail,  And that the divorce rate in the church is just as bad as the divorce rate outside the church?  It turns out there is a new book out that claims that those are just myths that have been perpetuated on the American public. 

In their book, The Good News about Marriage: Debunking Discouraging Myths about Marriage and Divorce, authors Shaunti Feldhahn and Tally Whitehead share the following: [ii]

Contrary to what is commonly suggested, the actual divorce rate has never been close to 50%.  Instead almost 75% of people are still married to their first spouse, and some of those who aren’t have experienced the death of a spouse, not divorce.  [iii]

And then there is this conclusion:  Despite what you’ve been told, the divorce rate in the church is not the same as outside the church.  In fact church attendees have a 25-50% lower divorce rate. [iv]

Now why is that?  It is because people who go to church are more likely to know the surprising secrets of a happy marriage.  It turns out that following a few essential biblical principles creates winning attitudes and behaviors in God’s people.  And as you may have heard “Attitude is everything.”  Or at least it is one of the really important things.

Your attitude is a significant predictor of your success in marriage. A positive attitude can help you overcome obstacles and develop resilience and bounce back from setbacks.  Attitude is more important than talent, more significant than your IQ, more essential then looks, athleticism, business sense, and most any other category.  Attitude is the engine that drives our responses and how we relate to other people.

So today, what I want to do is look at four important marriage truths and see how they impact our attitudes and behaviors in the most positive ways.  Let’s do a quick survey of them.

Here is what loving wives do to contribute to a happy family

Are you ready for this surprising truth?  Godly wives submit to their husbands.  Sweet submission is one of the incredible secrets of a happy marriage.  Never underestimate the power of a wife’s loving support and genuine respect for her husband.   That’s what submission is.  It is what will make your marriage one of the best in the world. 

18 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Just what is submission?  It comes from the Greek word is hoopo-tasso, and it is “a voluntary attitude of putting others first, of cooperating, and sharing their burdens.”  It is respect for others opinions.  It is demonstrating genuine enthusiasm and appreciation for the work that other people put in.  It is being supportive.  Submission is the cure for conflict.  It is the key to unity and harmony.  It is about being part of a team. 

Submission is the key to marital harmony.  It’s also the key to most relationships!  You don’t have to always be in the driver’s seat!  Not everybody gets to be the center forward or the quarterback.  But every team member knows that glory hogs and show offs, and selfish players destroy a team, and that every orchestra needs a second fiddle or there will be no harmony. 

This is about my attitude.  It is about being my husband’s number one cheerleader!  Everyone needs someone to cheer them on.  We already have too many critics in the world.  What we need is more encouragers. 

Ladies, you have an incredibly powerful key that brings the kind of family harmony that you have always wanted!  This is what love really looks like. 

And according to verse 18, it’s very pleasing to the Lord.  It is appropriate behavior if you are a Christian.  Want to be successful ladies?  Be your husband’s biggest cheer leader.

Here is what loving husbands do to contribute to a happy family

Godly husbands demonstrate the doting attitude of a servant in love, who just can’t do enough to show honor and respect to their wives.  Flowers, dates, gifts, honor, respect, time, conversation, active listening… Never underestimate the power of personal self sacrifice and genuine love for your wife.  That’s what love is, and it will make your marriage one of the best.

19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.

Personal self Sacrifice is at the core of every person’s relationship with God.  Do you want to be spiritual?  Then take up your cross and follow Jesus.  Sacrifice your desires for God’s desires.    

It turns out that passionate, red hot, love is all about sacrifice.  Men you have at your fingertips an incredibly powerful key that can open the door to the marriage you have always wanted! 

If you want this winning attitude, you need to love like Jesus loved!  This is known as Agape love!  How much did Christ love the church?  Christ loves the church so much that he was willing to die for it.  How important is the church?  More important than anything else on earth. 

But what can destroy this attitude?  Bitterness.  Why would a guy become bitter?  When your wife doesn’t measure up, when she isn’t being submissive… beware lest you become bitter.  Husbands God never meant for you to try and force your wife to be a good submissive woman.  That’s not your job.  You may want to do it, but believe me it’s counterproductive!  The only thing it will create is bitterness.  Don’t go there.

Men, you have an incredible powerful key that can bring the kind of family happiness that you have always wanted!  This is what love really looks like. 

Here is what loving children do to contribute to a happy family

Children who love Jesus and want to please him, will also want to be good kids.  Good kids do their best to obey their parents at all times. 

20 Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.

In our crazy mixed up world where stories trickle down to us of educators who tell their class:  “Now class, don’t tell your parents what I told you!”  About gender transitioning, about drag queens, about premarital sex, and other sensitive topics; God’s word has always been a trusted source of information.  And what the Bible tells children is this:  Children obey your parents in all things.

Never underestimate the power of a child who is happy to do what mom and dad say!  They will be so shocked and pleased that, they might even let you borrow the keys to the car! 

There is almost nothing I can think of that brings more chaos into a family than a rebellious child, and there is just about nothing that has the power to bring harmony and joy into a family than happy, well adjusted, obedient kids. 

They won’t be hanging off the cart at K-Mart.  They won’t be screaming in the grocery store.  They are happy to be well behaved.  Children have incredible power to bring family harmony.  You want to be pleasing to God?  Obey your parents.

Here is what loving fathers do to contribute to a happy family

Godly fathers are engaged with their children.  They spend time with them.  They love them.  They correct them.  But most of all, godly fathers encourage their children, rather than filling them with anger, bitterness or resentment.

21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

Fathers are typically the teasing type.  And far too often that teasing becomes exasperating and frustrating to children.  Father’s can also discourage their children through anger, injustice, favoritism, mistreatment, not showing up when they should. 

Why aren’t mother’s included here?  Because as a general rule, Mothers mother naturally, because that is how God made them, but fathers are often tired or claim to be too busy to be the father they were meant to be.  One of the great reasons that children are growing up angry and frustrated is because father is missing. 

But Fathers have an incredible, powerful influence on their children.  Never underestimate the power of genuine encouragement of a father! 

Listen, this is not rocket science.  These principles are not new, but they are true.  They have been around for thousands of years, and they are just as true today as when  the ink dried on the page.  It’s all about your attitude and behavior.  If you want to change your family, change your attitude.

Wives, don’t be selfish, be submissive!  Husbands don’t be self centered, be considerate and loving!  Children, don’t demand your own way, be obedient.  Fathers, don’t be a frustration, be an encourager.  It’s very simple.  The surprising secrets are out;  People who apply biblical principles are more likely to have a happy marriage. 

Research has found that the happiest couples who say that “God is at the center of our marriage” are twice as likely to report that they are very happy than others.  The happiest couples worship together, share key values, focus on serving their spouses instead of being served, look to God for power to be selfless, and trust God for the outcome. They don’t look to marriage for fulfillment, they find that in God. [v]


[i] https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/06/happily-ever-after/372573/

[ii] https://reformedperspective.ca/the-surprising-secrets-of-highly-happy-marriages/

[iii] https://reformedperspective.ca/the-surprising-secrets-of-highly-happy-marriages/

[iv] https://reformedperspective.ca/the-surprising-secrets-of-highly-happy-marriages/

[v] https://reformedperspective.ca/the-surprising-secrets-of-highly-happy-marriages/

Living Your Life on Purpose

Have you ever asked yourself the question, “what should I do with my life?”  Maybe you are one of those people who instinctively knows your purpose.  But those people are rare.  I have met very few people who have a plan for their lives.  Don’t you wish you knew exactly what God wants you to do?  Today, I’m going to help you find your life plan.  And if you will accept it, from now on, you can live your life on purpose! 

It Starts in the Heart! 15

Your master plan must begin inside yourself

Finding peace is about letting Jesus rule the heart.

Don’t buy into the notion a weekend at the beach will give you peace.

Peace rules when we turn life over to God in prayer. Philippians 4:6–7

Peace rules when we live according to God’s Word: (Philippians 4:9).

Your second goal to be thankful.

Thankfulness will exponentially increase your peace! 

Change your thinking and you will change your life!

It Flows from the Mouth 16

Do you have a plan for what you say out loud to people? 

Get God’s Word deep inside. 

“Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly!” 

If you want to speak right, you have to think biblically. 

Speak Scripturally. 

Our words should be used to pass on truth. 

Or mouth should not be used for falsehoods, gossip, or criticism. 

The more that you speak biblically, the better off your life will be!  

All Christians are called to teach and admonish. 

To admonish means to encourage, counsel, and warn one another. 

Sing joyfully. 

Singing is a powerful way to teach.

Our songs ought to be biblically oriented. 

Psalms Are scripture poetry put to music. 

ψαλμός is literally, “to play a stringed instrument.”

Hymn ὕμνος humnos is used to describe truths ascribed to God in praise. 

Spiritual songs  are our testimony of personal response to God.

Change your Words you will Change your World.

It Affects every Action 17

What actions and what behaviors are truly worthy of your life? 

Saying “in Jesus’ name” is not a magic formula.

“In Jesus’ name” means that we are doing it for His kingdom and glory. 

We must set a goal to serve the Lord Jesus Christ every second of every day.

Doing everything in Jesus name results in thankfulness.

Change your behavior and you will transform your relationships.  Imagine what would happen if Jesus were pleased with everything you do!  Imagine doing everything you do to please Jesus!  That is going to change your life!  Change the way you think, change the way you talk, and change the way you act… that is the master plan.  Whatever you do in word or deed, do it heartily as unto the Lord!


Have you ever asked yourself the question, “what should I do with my life?”  Maybe you are one of those people who instinctively knows your purpose; and you know exactly where you are going and what you should be doing.  But those people are rare.  One survey shows that only 10% of people claim to know what their life purpose is, and only 5% say they are following that purpose![i] 

I have met very few people who have a plan for their lives. Most are passive spectators, watching their lives unfold one day at a time. They may plan their careers, the building of a new home, or even a vacation. But it never occurs to them to create a master plan for their life. As a result, many end up discouraged and disillusioned, wondering where they went wrong, and wondering why on earth they are here.

Do you have a life plan?  Let me explain what happens if you don’t have a life plan.  If you don’t have a plan, You don’t know if you are doing the right things.  You doubt yourself and your decisions.  You don’t know the direction your life should go in the future.  You feel lost, confused, uncertain and you struggle with motivation[ii]

Now if I were a secular motivational speaker, right about now, I’d tell you that you need to dig deep inside and find out what really motivates you, what you really want to do, and then make plans to reach those goals.  I’d tell you to list your goals for your finances, your family, your career, and your personal life, and the set out to reach them. 

And there’s nothing wrong with that until one day, you wake up and find out that you’ve been climbing the ladder of success, only to find out that it’s leaning against the wrong building!  What does it matter if you get the top, if you’ve adopted the wrong plan? 

Have you ever wished that life came with a user manual?  Don’t you wish you knew exactly what God wants you to do?  Well congratulations on being here today, because this is your lucky day, because today, I’m going to help you find your life plan.  And if you will accept it, from now on, you can live your life on purpose! 

The plan that I’m going to share with you today is a little different than what you’d get from a high powered motivational speaker.  The master plan that I’m going to share is an all encompassing life plan that will touch and energize every aspect of your life.  Here we go, a master plan for your life.  PART 1

It Starts in the Heart! 15

Your master plan for your life must begin inside yourself, where your feelings and thoughts originate.  If you do not master your inner life, you will never master the rest of your life.  Do you have a plan?  What is the ultimate goal you have for your thoughts and feelings, and how will you achieve it.  Let me describe, ideally, what your heart should be like. Verse 15:

15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.

There are two goals you must have for your heart.  #1 To be at peace.  #2 To be thankful. 

But finding peace isn’t easy. It is easily stolen. It only takes a simple glance at the world news or a mounting to-do list for uncertainty and restlessness to rise up and overwhelm our hearts with anxiety.

Some people like to create chaos (and they are not happy unless they do), some people like to spread good humor (and they are always a barrel of laughs), and some people like to wield power and control as the primary focus of their heart; but for the Christian, the barometer and goal of their inner life must be peace.  We must strive to make peace the norm for our inner life.

To be at peace, you must insist that God be allowed to rule your life. 

Don’t buy into the notion that an afternoon of solitude or a weekend at the beach will give you peace. Peace is not a serene setting.  This peace is not the absence of trouble. It is unrelated to our circumstances. 

We let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts by taking every anxious thought and turning it into a prayer. Philippians 4:6–7 instructs, “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

We let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts by living according to God’s Word: “What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:9).

When peace rules in your heart, you will not only overcome stress and discontentment, but you will get along with other people better.  To this we were called in the body of Christ! 

Your first goal, for your heart is to be at peace.

Your second goal for your inner life is to be thankful.  In fact thankfulness will exponentially increase your peace!  The more you cultivate gratitude, the greater your peace will be.  If you will practice gratitude and thankfulness in every circumstance your heart will slowly but surely begin to be ruled by peace!  It may be a slow process, but it is a certainty.  Thankfulness produces peace.

Change your thinking, change your life!

PART 1 of your master plan relates to your heart.  PART 2 relates to your mouth. 

It Flows from the Mouth 16

Do you have a plan for what you say, or do you just fling it out there, and let it stick where it may?  I know people who don’t care about what others think;  they are going to say what’s on their mind, and if you don’t like it, that’s your problem. 

And, may I say, I’ve been known to say stupid stuff a time or two.  I’ve said stuff that I wish that I could reel in and take back.  Sometimes regret has been my old friend. 

And then there are people who you can’t get a word out of to save your soul!  Some people blabber like idiots, and other people keep their rusted trap shut!  So what is your master plan for your mouth?  How would describe the way you talk to others?  Blabber mouth, Tape face, or another option… are you a fount of wisdom flowing over your lips?  Verse 16 tells us God’s goal for your mouth: 

16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.

Let me give you three goals for your lips.  #1 Get God’s Word deep inside.  #2 Speak Scripturally.  #3 Sing joyfully. 

The number one life goal for your lips is to “Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly!”  If you want to speak right, you have to think right.  If you want to think right, you must think biblically!  That is where wisdom comes from!  That means that you must spend a lifetime meditating on God’s Word.  Since we are on the cusp of a new year, now is a good time to determine that you will Read the Word every day in 2024!  It truly makes a difference!  It has radically transformed my life.

The second goal for your mouth is to speak scripturally.  How should we speak to one another anyway?  What does verse 16 say?  It says that the goal of all conversation is to “teach and admonish one another using the psalms and hymns and spiritual songs.

Our words should be used to teach truth.  Or mouth should not be used for lies, falsehoods, prevarication, gossip, or criticism.  Where do you find truth?  In God’s Word.  The more that you learn to speak biblically, the better off your life will be!  

And to speak biblically we need to teach.  All Christians are called to teach.  A pastor teaches.  A mentor teaches.  A parent teaches.  A coach teaches.  A friend teaches.  Teaching is just about passing on information that we know to be true.  We are all teachers. 

All Christians are called to admonish.  To admonish means to encourage, counsel, and warn one another of the dangers we may be facing. 

Now this verse isn’t talking about a lecture or speech, like the one I am giving.  This verse raises the realm of conversation from the mundane into the realm of worship.  In fact it uses a very specific form of verbalization:  singing.  Which is our third goal.  We want all of you to become singers! 

Singing is a powerful way to teach.  I would venture to guess that most of us know dozens of songs by heart.  And since we know the lyrics to these songs, we know what these songs are teaching!  This leads me to say that our songs ought to be biblically oriented.  Some songs have catchy tunes, but they have horrible theology.  We shouldn’t sing songs that encourage anger, disobedience, fornication or any other work of the flesh.

There are three words used to describe our singing.  The first is the word Psalm.  Now we have an entire book in the Bible called Psalms.  And this book has been the songbook of the church for centuries.  The Psalms were poetry put to music.  The Psalms are God’s word put to music.

However, there is a secondary meaning of the word ψαλμός psalmos.  It is literally, “the twanging of a stringed instrument, or to pluck, play a stringed musical instrument.”  If you wondered if instruments were part of New Testament worship, here it is.

The second word is Hymn.  Now Paul did not have a copy of “The Baptist Hymnal,” or any other modern hymnal.  The hymns we have today were not even composed back then.  The word “Hymn” ὕμνος humnos is used to describe truths ascribed to God.  Hymns are literally praise to God.

The third word is Spiritual songs.  While psalms are a recitation of the inspired word of God, and hymns are used to recite doctrinal truth in praise to God, spiritual songs are odes… they offer believers the opportunity to express their personal responses to God. A spiritual song would be retelling the grace, mercies, and miracles of God from the singer’s point of view.

All three perspectives are good!  We ought to sing Scripture!  (Psalms) We also ought to sing good theology in praise to the greatness of God.  (Hymns) And we ought to sing songs that tell of our love for Jesus and our heart for God.  (Spiritual Songs). 

This is what your lips should be used for. The purpose of language is to speak the truth in love.  That is your roadmap for your mouth for life.  If you Change your Words you will Change your World

PART 1 of your master plan relates to your heart.  PART 2 relates to your mouth.  PART 3 relates to your actions.  The things that you do.

It Affects every Action 17

Why do you do the things that you do?  Why do you go to work?  Why do you go to church?  Why do you help people?  Why do you exercise or eat right?  You take action on things you think will be beneficial to your life.  You need these things, or you want these things.  Or you want them for others.

But what actions, and what behaviors are truly worthy of your life?  How do you know whether or not you should or should not do something:  Verse 17

17 And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

This is obviously broader than just actions, it is words and actions.  It is anything you say or do.  But the scope of our life plan has finally come to your behavior.  Which behaviors are worthy?  There are two answers to that.  #1 If you can do it in the name of Jesus.  #2 If it produces thanksgiving to God.

What does it mean to do something in the name of Jesus?  And how do we do all things in the name of Jesus?  We know we should baptize people in the name of Jesus, and we should pray in the name of Jesus, but this is bigger.

17 times in the New Testament Jesus used the words “in my name.”  and 11 times the Apostles used the phrase “in the name of Jesus.”  For example they said,

Mt 18:5  whoever  receives a little child in my name receives me.

Mt 18:20  where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

Mr 9:41  For whoever gives a cup of water in my name shall not lose his reward.

Ac 9:27  Saul preached boldly at Damascus in the name of Jesus.

Ac 3:6  Then Peter said, Silver and gold have I none; but such as I have give I thee: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth rise up and walk.

Do you get the idea, that you must transform your life by doing everything that you do for Jesus?

Saying “in Jesus’ name” is not a magic formula. The phrase contains no power if it is misused or misunderstood.  Something done “in Jesus’ name” means that we are doing it for Him, His kingdom and is for His glory. 

We should be able to say that over literally everything we do. When we sit down at our desk and open our inbox to start our day, we should say, “In Jesus’ name.” When we meet up with a friend for lunch, we should think, “In Jesus’ name.” When a person tries to merge in traffic ahead of us—yep, even then—“In Jesus’ name.” When we kiss our spouse when we get home from work: “In Jesus’ name.”

In every interaction—not just the spiritual ones—we should be able to say, “I am doing this for Jesus.”  We must set a goal to serve the Lord Jesus Christ every second of every day. Every single thing we do, every step we take, every word we utter should be thought of first and foremost as an offering to Jesus.

How do I know what to do in my life?  Ask yourself the question, “can I honestly say that I can do this for Jesus?”  If you can, do it heartily to the Lord.  And if your behavior exhibits thankfulness to God, then, God bless you, for you are a truly fortunate individual.

What is the Purpose Statement for your life?  Maybe you want to adopt Colossians 3:15-17. 

Change your behavior and you will transform your relationships.  Imagine that Jesus is pleased with everything you do!  Imagine doing everything you do to please Jesus!  This is going to change your life!  Change the way you think, change the way you talk, and change the way you act… that is the master plan.  Whatever you do in word or deed, do it heartily as unto the Lord![iii] 


[i] https://discoveram.com/finding-purpose-why-it-matters-to-your-life-and-business/#:~:text=Most%20people%20don’t%20know,you%20relate%20within%20your%20journey.

[ii] “What Will They Say When You Are Dead?”  This is an incredibly powerful question. To answer it, you have to “fast forward” to the end of your life and look back.

A case study at UCLA by psychologist Emily van Sonnenberg asked students to keep an intention journal. Each morning, they wrote down their intentions for the day.  Sonnenberg found that students who wrote down their goals achieved them 92% more often than those who didn’t. This result proves the power of planning

[iii] “What Will They Say When You Are Dead?”  This is an incredibly powerful question. To answer it, you have to “fast forward” to the end of your life and look back. You are forced to think about the things that matter most.

Is the Virgin Birth for Real?

Most of us crazy Americans believe in the Virgin Birth, according to a recent Pew survey.  The others probably just think we are crazy.  But at Christmas, every church and every town across the country reverently decorates their crèche with the baby Jesus conceived by the Virgin Mary.  And every Christmas skeptics mock this miracle.  Why—of all the miracles in Scripture—is the virgin birth so frequently attacked.  Maybe it is because Christmas is about the Incarnation – the day God became man. 

Joseph was a skeptic 19

First-century folk knew how babies are produced.

It isn’t a recent discovery that virgins don’t have babies. 

If Jesus was not born of a virgin, who was His father? 

Some believe it was an unknown lover.

Some believe that a Roman soldier had a love affair with Mary.

Joseph was the first converted skeptic.   

If it were not for an angel Joseph would have divorced Mary.  

Mary was a virgin 18

Matthew 1 tells Josephs version of the events

Luke 1 tells Mary’s version of the events. 

Mary claimed that she “had never knew a man.”

Isaiah prophesied that the Savior would be born of a virgin.  (Is 7:14)

Mary conceived by the Holy Spirit 20

In fairy tales the gods have illicit relations with women.

In the Bible the Holy Spirit creates the miracle of life.

That is a huge difference. 

The Virgin Birth is not a myth, it is a miracle.

Jesus is the Savior 21

He will save His people from their sins.

The cradle was the first step toward the cross. 

At the Cross, Jesus paid the penalty for our sins.

Millions have been “saved” by Jesus. 

Jesus is “God with Us” 22-23

His name is “Immanuel,” which is translated, “God with us.”

His name is “Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”  Isaiah 9:6

The Virgin Birth explains how Jesus could be both God and man.

It explains how Jesus did not inherit a sin nature. (Hebrews 4.15)

If untrue, Mary and Joseph are nothing more than con artists.

The Christmas story is the story of a radical new beginning in God’s relationship with the human race.  When I hear how God became man, and the word was made flesh and dwelt among us’ a tingle runs down my spine, this is the good news of the ultimate miracle.  The basis of Christianity is that Jesus is the Son of God, not the son of Joseph.  And if this miracle be true, then we should come before the manger and worship Him as the shepherds and wise men did so long ago. 


How do I know the Virgin Birth isn’t a myth?

The magazine, Popular Science writes:  “It’s that time of year again when all rational human beings shake our heads in amusement at those crazy, miracle-believers and their improbable stories. Flying reindeer? Walking on water. St. Nicholas’ ability to ingest mass quantities of cookies without succumbing to diabetes,” the virgin birth and other impossible myths.[i]

It turns out that in 2013 three-quarters of us crazy Americans believe in the impossible myth we call the Virgin Birth, according to a Pew survey.[ii]  That was down to 66% in 2014.[iii] The other 33% probably just think we are crazy.  But at Christmas, every church and every town across the country reverently decorates their crèche with the baby Jesus conceived by the Virgin Mary. 

And every Christmas, skeptics mock this miracle.  Why—of all the miracles in Scripture—is the virgin birth so frequently attacked.  For us Christians it’s really not a problem.  After all, if God created the universe, what’s the big deal about a virgin birth?  Maybe it’s because any miracle, no matter how small is an indication that there is a God, and that is just not acceptable to a skeptic. 

Christmas is not just about shopping and mistletoe, eating turkey and drinking egg nog, presents and magnificent Christmas displays; it is about the Incarnation – Christmas is about the day God became man.  Matthew 1:23 says that Jesus is “Immanuel, the God who is with us.” 

That’s sensational.  If true, it is staggering!  Every human ever born had a human father and a human mother and to suggest that Mary was the mother of God is a stunning and fantastic claim.  Joseph himself was a skeptic.

Joseph was a skeptic 19

“Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not wanting to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privately.”

He pondered on these things.  First-century folk knew every bit as much as we do that babies are produced by a relationship between a woman and a man.  They probably understood it better than we, being country folk!  When Joseph heard about Mary’s pregnancy, his problem arose not because he didn’t know the facts of life, but because he did.[iv] 

Now here’s an interesting tidbit.  In 1955, a woman shocked the world, scandalized the church and divided the medical profession by her claims that her daughter was virgin born.  It turns out that there was a lecture by geneticist Dr. Helen Spurway about spontaneous parthenogenesis, in which female guppies could get pregnant without the male.  She suggested that perhaps it was also possible in humans.  Are virgin births possible? In guppies, yes, because the female may be able to produce sperm as well as ova.[v]  Out of that context, one woman claimed her child was virgin born.  Before the era of DNA testing, doctors had no way to disprove it, and the woman became an overnight sensation with headlines reading, “Child born without a man!” 

Medicine has come a long way since then! Today we know that for a human embryo to develop successfully it needs genetic instructions from the male sperm cell, and the only way to get that is from a human male.  But it isn’t a recent discovery that virgins don’t have babies. 

Joseph knew that.  He wanted to end the relationship with Mary.  He didn’t know who the father was, but in his mind, Mary must have been playing around and lying to him.  That lends some credibility to the story of the virgin birth.  Joseph was the first converted skeptic. 

If Jesus was not born of a virgin, who was His father? 

The Jesus Seminar, a group of liberal religious scholars made news in 2016 when they cast doubt the His miraculous birth.  Voting with multi-colored pebbles, these pundits decided that Mary must have had an unknown lover.[vi]  Some believe that Jesus was the illegitimate child of a Roman soldier who either had a love affair with Mary, or raped her.[vii] 

I suppose that is possible, but neither, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Joseph, Mary, or any other disciples ever thought that.  The Pharisees intimated it, the Jews circulated it, but the rumor of an affair was never taken seriously until the nineteenth century.  There is not a shred of ancient evidence, even by the harshest enemies of Jesus, that his mother committed adultery. Quite the opposite is the case.[viii]

The Jews had a habit of ostracizing or stoning those who committed adultery, but Joseph did not respond that way.  And he wasn’t the only one.  Cousin Elizabeth when she heard about the pregnancy said, “Blessed are you among women!”  That’s not a normal Hebrew response to rape or adultery!

Joseph was on the spot.  Imagine how he felt?  In a situation where the love of your life has ruined your future, there is only one reasonable response:  End the relationship.  If it were not for an angel that came to Joseph in a dream, he would have left her.  He was a converted skeptic. 

What is the evidence for the virgin birth?  How does one research a first-century woman’s virginity anyway?  Are we brain dead because we believe in the Virgin Birth?  Some people say that the evidence for the Virgin Birth … is so shaky that it pretty much has to be a leap of faith.  One man calls it the “entrance myth” to go with the resurrection, the “exit myth.”[ix]

There are four biblical facts I want to review quickly: #1

Mary was a virgin 18

18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: After His mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Spirit.

In Luke chapter 1:26-34, we have Mary’s version of the events. 

26 Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, 27 to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. 28 And having come in, the angel said to her, “Rejoice, highly favored one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!” 29 But when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and considered what manner of greeting this was. 30 Then the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. 31 And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a Son, and shall call His name Jesus. 32 He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Highest; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David. 33 And He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of His kingdom there will be no end.” 34 Then Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I do not know a man?”

The way the Bible tells the story, Mary was clearly a virgin.  Mary was puzzled.  She didn’t get it!  She had never known a man.  And here is why that is such an important point.  In the book of Isaiah, 1000 years earlier, the prophet predicted that the deliverer would be born of a virgin. 

“Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a Son, and shall call His name Immanuel.” (Isaiah 7:14).  The second biblical evidence is that

Mary conceived by the Holy Spirit 20

“But while he thought about these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit.”

There are those who say that the virgin birth is a fairy tale, and that there are other stories in pagan literature of how  Krishna was born of the virgin Devaka, Horus was born of the virgin Isis, Mercury was born of the virgin Maia and Romulus was born of the virgin Rhea Sylvia.[x]

Jesus, they say, is just another in a long line of myths.  Let me see if I can get you to see one huge difference.  The other stories are about the gods coming down to earth and fornicating with women.  The Bible is about the Holy Spirit creating the miracle of life in the womb.  In the retelling of Jesus birth, God did not stoop to a human level to sexually impregnate Mary.  He simply said the word, and life was created.  He simply slipped out of heaven and took on the form of frail human flesh.  The Virgin Birth is not a pagan sexual myth, it is a divine Miracle.

Mary brought forth a Savior 21

“And she will bring forth a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.”

Here is the problem we Christian’s have if Jesus wasn’t Virgin born.  If Jesus was not Virgin Born, then He is not God in the flesh.  And if He is not God in the flesh, then the Bible is a myth and Jesus, Joseph, Mary and the Apostles all knowingly lied to us, and the worst of it is that a Jesus who was not Virgin Born, could not live a sinless life or die a substitutionary death for you and me.  If there is no Virgin Birth, then there is no Salvation, and those of us who believe are still lost in our sins! 

The cradle was the first step toward the cross.  At the Cross, Jesus paid the penalty for our sins and made it possible for us to be saved.  To be saved, you must trust Him.  Jesus was crucified on the same day that the Passover lamb was killed.  His death and resurrection created a revolution in the world system.  Hundreds came to trust him at first, turning into millions and billions. 

And every one who has genuinely been saved will tell you:  Jesus saved me!  He transformed my life.  He gave me hope and a new lease on life. 

And the Bible gives us this wonderful message of hope:

Jesus is “God with Us”

In our text today, Matthew 1:22-23, it says, “So all this was done that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the Lord through the prophet, saying: “Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel,” which is translated, “God with us.”

Isaiah 9:6 further identifies Him:  “For unto us a Child is born, Unto us a Son is given; And the government will be upon His shoulder. And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” 

The Virgin Birth explains how Christ could be both God and man. It explains how Jesus did not inherit a sin nature like the rest of us of humans have from Adam.  Jesus was “without sin” (Hebrews 4.15), “holy, blameless, undefiled, separated from sinners” (7.26), thus he “knew no sin” (2 Corinthians 5.21).

If the virgin birth is untrue, then the story of Jesus changes greatly; we would have a sexually promiscuous young woman lying about God’s miraculous hand in the birth of her son, raising that son to declare he was God, and then joining his religion. But if Mary is nothing more than a con artist then her son Jesus should not be trusted.[xi]

Instead, the Christmas story is the story of a radical new beginning in God’s relationship with the human race.  When I hear how God became man, and the word was made flesh and dwelt among us’ a tingle runs down my spine, this is the good news of the ultimate miracle.  The basis of Christianity is that Jesus is the Son of God, not the son of Joseph”

And if this miracle be true, then we should come before the manger and worship Him as the shepherds and wise men did so long ago.  We Believe in the Virgin Birth and sinless life of Jesus the Messiah. 


[i] https://www.popsci.com/blog-network/ladybits/scientific-miracle-theories-marys-virgin-birth#page-2

[ii] https://www.livescience.com/42175-virgin-birth-why-we-believe.html 2013

[iii] https://www.christianpost.com/news/fewer-americans-believe-jesus-was-born-of-a-virgin-study.html

[iv] https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/the-virgin-birth

[v] https://content.time.com/time/subscriber/article/0,33009,861693,00.html

[vi] http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/1994/december12/4te018.html

[vii] https://billygraham.org/decision-magazine/december-2016/assault-virgin-birth/

[viii] https://jamestabor.com/best-evidence-mary-was-not-impregnated-by-a-roman-soldier/

[ix] https://albertmohler.com/2011/12/14/must-we-believe-in-the-virgin-birth/

[x] https://www.spectator.co.uk/2007/12/do-you-believe-in-the-virgin-birth/

[xi] https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/the-virgin-birth

Should Christians Celebrate Christmas?

Is Christmas a Pagan Holiday?  Many of us grew up hearing that Christmas on December 25th, was a hijacked pagan festival.  Absolutely not true.  We live in an era of two very different Christmases.  One version is the simple birth of Christ; the other one is secularized and commercialized.  What does Egg Nog, Mistletoe and Holly have to do with Christmas?  The origin of many of these customs aren’t sacred, they are secular.

WHAT IS PAGANISM?

Paganism is the worship of or the belief in false gods. 

Early Christians dealt with Roman and Greek Paganism.

Paganism relates to your motivation, not to your decorations.

DOES CHRISTMAS HAVE PAGAN ROOTS?

What makes something pagan? 

Does Pagan use of something magically make that thing pagan? 

Incense is used in Caesar worship and in the Jewish Temple. 

Incense is just an object with no moral value. 

It is only what we use it for that makes a difference. 

The same is true of meat sacrificed to idols.  1 Cor 10:27-30

The same is true of Christmas trees or Easter eggs. 

Was December 25th originally a pagan holiday.

Early Christians were hated because they did not worship with pagans.

Why would they steal something they refused to participate in?

The first historical reference to the Birth of Christ is 200 A.D.  & 354

There are no Pagan Celebrations on the Julian Calendar on December 25. 

Christianity rose to conquer paganism not to become pagans. 

IS CHRISTMAS BIBLICAL?

There is no command in the New Testament to celebrate Christmas. 

  • We must obey all New Testament commands
  • We must abstain from things that are condemned. 
  • If it neither commanded or condemned we may, exercise liberty.

All things are permissible, but not all things are beneficial. 1 Cor 10:23 

Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. Rom 14:5–6

There are many examples of people worshiping at the birth of Christ. 

  • The Prophets told us to prepare for His Birth Day – Isaiah 9:6
  • The Father commanded worship at His Birth – Hebrews 1:6
  • The Angels worshiped Jesus at his birth – Luke 2:10-14

Jesus celebrated a man made feast called Hanukkah.  John 10:22-23

HOW SHOULD WE CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS

Humble your heart. Phil 2:5-11

Express appreciation to God for adoption.  Gal 4:4-6

Rejoice in your salvation from sin.  Matt. 1:20–21

Thank God for His Amazing Grace. John 3:16

Have pagans ever worshiped the birth of the son of God, Jesus coming to earth?  No.  Pagan celebrations were utterly different from Christianity. They were made up of licentiousness, gambling, and great excess.  The original spirit of Christmas was about a faithful Joseph and humble Virgin Mary who miraculously give birth to the Son of God.  That’s why we celebrate Christmas. 


The War On Christmas

There is a war being waged against Christmas.  And I’m not just talking about Merry Christmas vs Happy Holidays, nor am I just thinking about the removal of nativity crèches from public buildings, or the name change from Christmas vacation to Winter break in public schools.  Those are certainly hot spots in the culture war.  I’m talking about something a little more insidious.  a battle is being waged in an attempt to distort and malign the historical facts of the birth of the Lord Jesus Christ… to get us to doubt his miraculous birth.

Accuracy – Luke 1:1-4

Luke took his information from eyewitnesses (Luke 1:1-4)

Luke interviewed Peter, Mary and all the other disciples.

Luke has been found to be unfailingly accurate of historical events. 

Should you believe An eye witness or someone who lived 2000 years later?

Harmony – John 21:25

Do Matthew and Luke tell two different stories? 

Matthew is told from Joseph’s perspective:

Joseph’s Genealogy

Angel Appears to Joseph

The Wise Men

Herod’s Plot

Luke is told from Mary’s perspective:

Mary’s Genealogy

Angel Appears to Mary

The Shepherds

Caesar’s Census

The authors wrote with different intentions to different audiences.

Rather than create a conflict, they create a complete story.

FactualMatthew 1:20-21

The skeptic says that there are no historical records of this trip.

However there were Magi in the east

Historical silence is not an overwhelming argument

The skeptic says that there are no records of the massacre

But the massacre does fit Herod’s character

There may have been only about half a dozen kids in Bethlehem

The massacre was really not big news in Judea

Historians often neglected to record big events!

You can trust the Christmas Story. It is quite possibly the favorite of all the stories ever told— a story steeped in joy, and in good will.  It’s the foundation not just for the Christian faith, and in many ways, for the whole of Western civilization was built upon it.  It is the story of how God loved us so much he sent us His dear Son!

Living Your Best Life Ever

What would make your life better? If money was no object, if you had all the talent, time and resources needed, what would you change about your life?  You can change all the external things about your life, but unless your heart changes, you will be just as miserable as you were before. 

Negative behavior is the cause of many of our problems

Bad behavior is a defense mechanism used to protect ourselves from hurt.

These behaviors ruin relationships rather than healing them. 

1.  Tender Mercy

You must replace hard handedness and anger with tender mercy. 

Tender σπλάγχνον describes the heart, the  seat of our emotions; 

Mercy οἰκτιρμός is a heart in which compassion resides.

God the Father of mercies, comforts us in our difficulties. 2 Cor 1:3-4

2.  Kindness

You must replace lack of sympathy and callousness with kindness. 

Kindness χρηστότης is the willingness to do good and help others.

 Kindness is a gift.

We are no more like God than when we give. 

3.  Humility

You must replace arrogance and boasting with humility. 

Humility, ταπεινοφροσύνη is having a modest opinion of one’s importance.

Humility takes an interest in other people instead of focusing on self.  

4.  Meekness

Replace harshness and wrath with gentleness.

Meek, πρᾳότης means a mild temperament.

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”  Pro 15:1 

5.  Longsuffering

You must replace impatience with forbearance.

Longsuffering μακροθυμία is bearing with one another. 

6.  Forgiveness

You must replace vindictiveness with forgiveness.

You must forgive the same way Christ forgave you.

Forgiveness χαρίζομαι is a gift that you give yourself and others.

Forgiveness sets you free.

7.  Love

We need to replace animosity and indifference with love.

Love ἀγάπη means unconditional acceptance and affection.

Perfect love casts out all fear!  Don’t be afraid to love.

Love is the only way to bring about perfect unity. 

These are Seven beautiful characteristics which when put into practice will enable you live your best life ever.  If you as an individual practice them, you will find joy, hope and harmony.  “Making a decision to put on the New Man won’t instantaneously and automatically change your life.  But the decision to put on the New Man will immediately and dramatically impact your life.”  Why?  Because when your change the aim of your life, and decide to adopt a brand new set of behaviors, that decision in and of itself is so powerful it produces a dramatic life shift!  Once you get a taste of freedom, you will want to live your best life ever!


What would make your life better?

If money was no object, if you had all the talent, time and resources needed, what would you change about your life?  What is the most important thing you would do differently if you could change anything about yourself? 

Maybe you’d shed some weight?  Maybe you’d find true love?  Maybe you’d buy a big mansion with a swimming pool?  Maybe you’d get your health back?  Maybe you’d spend more time with family?  Or maybe you’d finally get that career opportunity you’ve always wanted. 

Now these are very good things.  And I wouldn’t want to hold you back from any of them.  However, even if you could escape the life you now live, and get inside the skin of a wealthy, healthy, successful life, none of these things are guaranteed to bring joy, satisfaction, harmony or peace. 

when I was about 16 years old, contemplating leaving home, and striking out on my own… leaving my family and everything behind, my brother Doug came to me and told me, “You might be able to run away from your old life, but problem is, that you take yourself wherever you go, and the problems you now have will follow you unless you deal with them.  You can’t run away from your problems.” 

You can change all the external things about your life, but unless your heart changes, you will be just as miserable as you were before. 

So my purpose today is to tell you how to live your best life ever, whether or not you are rich or poor, healthy or sick, alone or among family and friends.  My goal is to explain to you how you can stop the bad attitudes and habits of your old life and get your life back so that you can be a brand new you with a brand new life! 

If you want to begin living your best life ever, you need to decide that the most important thing in your life is that you want to become like Jesus.  You must allow the Word of God to transform you.  And you need to replace your old attitudes with new ones.  

Let me make it simple, “put off the old man and put on the new man.”  In its simplest form, this means that you make a decision to reject the old value system that is hurting you, and to replace it with a new, biblical value system which will change your life for the better!

Last week we said it was like changing lanes in a bowling alley.  You have to make a decision to stop bowling in the Devils bowling alley, and change lanes, and start bowling in God’s lane.  That means changing the behaviors you are aiming for.  You stop aiming for Anger, Wrath, Lying, Malice, Filthy Language and Blasphemy, and you begin aiming for Love, Humility, Kindness, Meekness, Forgiveness, Tender Mercy and Longsuffering. 

Now let me ask you these all important questions; why do we humans become angry so easily?  Why do we so easily fudge the truth?  Why do we so quickly cuss or swear?  Why do we naturally think about bitterness and revenge? 

Well, for one thing, it’s our defense mechanism, isn’t it?  In order to protect ourselves from hurt, we strike out in anger at others.  And for another thing, we don’t want to look bad or to look stupid, so we use these emotions to defend our character.  Another reason is because it may be the only way we know how to respond.  We learned these behaviors and practiced them all our lives, and we don’t know how to change them.  And then the bottom line is that we are sinners, and the Devil has deceived us into bowling in his lane.  We naturally gravitate toward the negative!  We have a heap of a big problem.

And we know that these bad behaviors are not good for us, or for our relationships.  In fact these behaviors repel others instead of attracting them.  They ruin relationships rather than healing them.  They drive people away instead of drawing them near to us in friendship. 

That’s what we want to avoid.  The old toxic me which does nothing but cause problems for myself!  And the new man is what we want to gain!  The beautiful new me brings me the best life I’ve ever hoped to live.  Life change for the Christian is about Installing the few key disciplines required for major breakthroughs.  Once you begin to change you will feel the momentum. Catch this, and you’ll be unstoppable.

Let’s make a list of the attitudes and behaviors that you should aim for.  Let me describe the kind of life we all want to live.  And then let’s grab hold of it with the most gusto we can!  The first thing to characterize your new life is tender mercies:

1.  Tender Mercy

If you want to overcome your anger, you must replace hard handedness and anger with tender mercy. 

Tender Mercy is two words:  In the Greek language, the word Tender describes the heart;  σπλάγχνον splagchnon which is talking about the inner seat of our emotions and feelings.  There are several words for Mercy in the New Testament.  This one, οἰκτιρμός oiktirmos, describes compassion for the ills of others.  If you put the two words together you get “a heart in which compassion resides.”

Tender Mercies is something God models for us in 2 Cor 1:3-4 “3   Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; 4  Who comforts us in our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble.”

If you want to live your best life ever, I suggest that you replace your irritation over others shortcomings with compassion.  Instead of being combative, we need to realize that irritating people are struggling, and the way to help them is to be understanding rather than angry. 

Mt 5:7  Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.

2.  Kindness

Be kind.  If you want to touch people’s hearts, you must replace lack of sympathy and callousness with kindness.  Kill them with kindness.

The idea behind kindness χρηστότης chrestotes is that we are ready and willing to do good to others by helping meet their needs and requests, and even go beyond their needs.  And the root of this word is “gift.”  Kindness is a gift.

I remember my first flat tire.  I was newly married and flat broke.  I pulled into Les Schwab knowing I could not pay to have the tire fixed.  When they were finished, I asked, “how much will this cost me?”  The man kindly smiled at me, and said “nothing!  It’s free!”  I didn’t know that was a policy, but it was a kind policy!  I was overwhelmed with gratitude.  And because of their kindness, that’s where I buy my tires. 

The story is told of a soldier during WW2 who saw a poor, raged boy peering into the window of a bakery, salivating over the fresh baked pastries inside.  The man went in, bought a dozen donuts and gave them to the boy.  As he was walking away, the boy pulled on his sleeve and asked, “Mister, are you God?”  We are no more like God than when we give. 

3.  Humility

We need to be humble.  If you want deeper relationships with the people you love, you must replace arrogance and boasting with humility. 

My daughter told me the other day that arrogance and boasting isn’t attractive to her.  She’s had guys wanting to date her, and they try to impress her with their exploits or their wealth, and she just bluntly tells them, “Those things don’t interest me.”  Well, what does?  Humility was her answer. 

The word humility, ταπεινοφροσύνη tapeinophrosune  is having a modest opinion of one’s importance.  Rather than trying to impress people with your talents or accomplishments, to show that you are as good or better than others, humility is more about taking an interest in other people instead.  

A woman was once graced to meet two of England’s greatest leaders.  Afterwards she was asked about it.  She said, Oh, when I met the first, he led me to believe that he was the most intelligent and amazing man in the world, but the second leader made me feel that I was the most important woman in the world.

4.  Meekness

We need to be meek.  If you want to get along with people, replace harshness and wrath with gentleness.

The word Meek, πρᾳότης praotes  means gentleness, or a mild temperament.

Proverbs 15:1 tells us that a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”  When you are verbally ambushed, it’s just natural to fling mud back.  … and then the fight began.  If only I could temper my responses to be more gentle and meek!  It would sure save me a lot of problems! 

5.  Longsuffering

We need to suffer long.  Now I have bunched this one together with the next statement, because it seems to be the same thing.  Longsuffering is bearing with one another. 

Longsuffering means μακροθυμία makrothumia patience, endurance, perseverance,  slowness in avenging wrongs;  it means to suffer with wrongs for a long time.  This is really good marriage advice.  You will discover that your partner is a flawed human being who seems to make the same mistakes all the time, and who treats you poorly over and over and over.  If you don’t’ have patience and forgiveness, you’re not going to make it. 

6.  Forgiveness     

We need to forgive.  If you want to be free from bitterness, anxiety and turmoil you must replace vindictiveness with forgiveness.

Now verse 13 says, “forgive one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.”

Forgive in the same way Jesus did when he hung on the cross and cried, “father forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing!”

You must not seek revenge, you must grant forgiveness.  Forgiveness χαρίζομαι charizomai is a gift that you give yourself, which releases you from your feelings of anger, bitterness and turmoil.  If you want spiritual and emotional freedom, you must learn to forgive. 

Forgiveness doesn’t let the other person off the hook, they still have to deal with God.  But forgiveness is a gift that offers pardon to that person, if he will take it, and offers restoration if he or she will receive it.  Forgiveness is one of the most important relationship secrets and one of the most important things you can do for your own self.  If you want freedom, you need to forgive. 

7.  Love

But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection

We need to love one another.  Who doesn’t want love?  Love is the queen of virtues.  Husbands love your wives.  Wives love your husbands.  Parents should love children, and children should love parents. 

Love is ἀγάπη agape which means unconditional acceptance; it is deep affection, good will, and gracious benevolence. 

There is some debate as to what the opposite of love is.  Some suggest that it is hatred, and I’m sure that is true.  We should love instead of hate.  Some think it is the opposite of indifference.  If love is great emotional caring, indifference is not caring at all.  We must not be indifferent to the needs of others.  Some say that love is opposite of fear.  If you fear someone, it can turn into indifference or hatred. 

But perfect love casts out all fear!  Don’t be afraid to love, even though love makes you vulnerable.  Love anyway.  It is the only way to bring about perfect unity between family and friends.  Love is the bond of perfection. 

So here we are.  Seven beautiful characteristics which when put into practice will enable you live your best life ever.  This is one of the best descriptions of your new life, anywhere.  If you as an individual practice them, you will find joy, hope and harmony.  If your family practices them, they will find unity and peace.  And if our church puts these into practice, we are going to be the nicest group of people in town.  They will say, “Oh how they love one another!” 

This is life changing.  Put off the old man, and put on the new man. 

If you are struggling with anger, bitterness, frustration or lack of forgiveness, how’s that working for you?  Honestly, if you’re being honest with yourself, you know, that deep down inside, the old life not good, and you need to change.  Are you ready to make a dramatic shift from the old man to the new man?  Are you ready to live your best life ever?  Are you ready to make a change that will make your life better than ever? 

Now, I know it’s difficult, and I know you will probably fail over and over.  But I want you to mull over this one important thought:  “Making a decision to put on the New Man won’t instantaneously and automatically change your life.”  Just because you make a decision to aim your life in a better direction and put on the new man, doesn’t mean you won’t mess it up.  It’s going to happen.  You won’t change overnight.

But the decision to put on the New Man will immediately and dramatically impact your life.  Why?  Because when your change the aim of your life, and decide to adopt a brand new set of behaviors, that decision in and of itself is so powerful it produces a dramatic life shift! 

It’s like opening the door to a new life.  It is like bowling in a new lane.  Are you going to throw a few gutter balls?  Yeah!  Are you going to get a strike every time?  No.  But the difference is that now you are aiming at a different set of outcomes.  And that is huge.  It’s crucial to avoid becoming dismayed when you don’t see immediate effects, and to ensure you keep generating good results.  What you need to do is take little steps, because daily, small, positive actions are the secret to long-term success.

Let me close with this thought:

CRY has 3 letters but so does JOY, HATE has 4 letters but so does LOVE, LYING has 5 letters but so does TRUTH, ENEMIES has 7 letters but so does FRIENDS, NEGATIVE has 8 letters but so does POSITIVE, OLD MAN has 6 letters but so does NEW MAN.

It’s your Choice.  You get to choose your behaviors.  And the good news is the new man comes with a money back guarantee.  If after three months you are dissatisfied, and you don’t like your new life of love, forgiveness and kindness, you can trade it back in.  You can have your old one back at no cost, no questions asked.  You can go back to being angry, gruff, bitter and unhappy if you want to, and no one can stop you.  But I’m betting that once you get a taste of freedom, you will want to live your best life ever!

The New You

Why is it so hard to change? If you know something’s bad for you, why can’t you just stop?  It turns out that sin is pleasurable, at first.  But it has a terrible destructive bite in the long run.  We are addicted to pleasure.  And that’s what makes change so very hard.  Our goal today is to explain to you how you can stop the habits of your old life and get your life back so that you can be a brand new you with a  brand new life!

Our vices bring instant gratification, (but they bring long term sorrow). 

The key to getting your life back on track is to put on the new man. 

The old ME died with Christ. Romans 6:6 “

Now we have a new nature. 2 Corinthians 5:17,

Your new nature is the key to overcoming sin. 

GOAL; Become Like Christ 10

 “Be imitators of God.” Ephesians 5:1-2

“Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 2:5 

“Everyone, when he is fully trained will be like his teacher.”  Luke 6:40

“You be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 11:1

If you really want life change, you must adopt the right goal.  .

METHOD; The Word of God 10

Renewed means new growth, new strength, and new life.    

This happens through knowledge.    

As we behold the mirror of God’s Word we are transformed. 2 Cor 3:17-18 

We are transformed by the renewing of our mind. Rom 12:2

We are blessed when we continue in the perfect law of liberty. Jas 1:22-25

The world of God’s grace is able to build you up.  Act 20:32

The way to put on the new man is time spent in God’s Word. 

Get into the Word, and let the Word get into you. 

IMPACT of your actions  11-12

You are now on a mission to impact other people with your life

You must become the role model God wants you to be. 

Your ethnicity doesn’t make you better or worse than anyone else.

Your past does not make you a better or worse Christian than anyone else.

The New Man treats everyone in the body of Christ as valuable.

REPLACE; With Godly Life Change 12-14

Describe what your new life should look like. 

Colossians 3:8-9 lists six ugly worldly responses.

Colossians 3:12-14 lists eight gracious godly responses

Which of the two lists do you want to follow? 

People respond poorly because they feel justified in their behavior.

Everybody gets to choose their responses

You can’t just stop one behavior without replacing it with another one! 

This is called “the positive replacement principle.” 

Practicing these virtues will strengthen your resolve to overcome sin. 

One way to kick bad habits is to actively replace unhealthy routines with new, healthy ones.  These alternative behaviors counteract the urges to repeat a bad behavior.  And if you decide to put on the new man, to replace your bad way of treating people with a godly way of treating people, it will powerfully, positively and triumphantly change your life! 


Why is it So Hard to Change?

If you know something’s bad for you, why can’t you just stop? Addiction is something that one out of every 12 American adults struggles with.[i] About 70% of smokers say they would like to quit. Drug and alcohol abusers want to give up addictions that hurt their bodies and tear apart families and friendships. And many of us have unhealthy excess weight that we would love to lose if only we would eat right and exercise more. So why don’t we do it?

It turns out that sin is pleasurable, at first.  But it has a terrible destructive bite in the long run.  But it is our pleasure sensors and our brain’s reward centers that keep us coming back for more.  We are addicted to pleasure.  That’s why we return again and again to such harmful routines such as overeating, smoking, drug or alcohol abuse, gambling, porn and even compulsive use of social media.

Enjoyable behaviors prompt your brain to release a chemical called dopamine.  If you receive a jolt of pleasurable response, you want to do it again, and that strengthens our bad habits. When you’re not doing those things, dopamine creates the craving so that you want to do it again,” [ii]

In a sense, then, parts of our brains are working against us when we try to overcome bad habits. “These routines can become hardwired in our brains, And the brain’s reward centers keep us craving the things we’re trying so hard to resist. [iii]

And that’s what makes change so very hard.  The problem is that our vices bring instant gratification, (even though they bring long term sorrow).  What makes it even more difficult is that our virtues rarely bring the same kind of immediate gratification or dopamine high, (even though they bring long term satisfaction and joy).

So the truth is you get more of a high out of alcohol, than you do out of sober, happy family living.  And you get a bigger jolt out of gambling, than you do when you pay off your mortgage! 

With this terrible imbalance, brought on by the ravages of sin, how can we tip the scales in our favor?  You have to be willing to exchange the short term gratification for long term results.  We need to know how to break those routines and embrace new ones.

In our last few studies, we told you that in order to win against sin, you must set your mind on heavenly things.  And we noted that you must abandon yourself to an all out faith in the God who has promised that he will deliver us.  You’ve got to believe.

Today, we get to unpack yet another key to getting your life back on track.  This one is called, put on the new man. 

The idea is this:  if indeed, the old me died with Christ, as Paul said in Romans 6:6 “knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him, that sin in the body might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin.” 

And if indeed we have a new nature, as Paul explained in 2 Corinthians 5:17, “if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” 

Then our message today is that you should “put off the old man” and ”put on the new man.”  And here is the secret to overcoming the dopamine rush.  You can put an end to your old life and live a life pleasing to God, is because, as a believer, you have a new nature. 

The nature inside me has changed, but the body around me has not.  It still has the same needs and the same passions and same dopamine rush – but the incredible news is that we now have a NEW NATURE that can overpower the old things! 

So our goal today is to explain to you how you can stop the habits of your old life and get your life back so that you can be a brand new you with a  brand new life!

And I’m going to give you FIVE simple steps on how you can PUT ON the new man.  #1.  You must adopt a new GOAL.  The first thing you must do is to decide that the most important thing in your life is that you want to become like Jesus.  #2  You must use a new METHOD.  The old dopamine rush is not going to help you change.  Here is what will: the incredible mind transforming Word of God.  #3  You must begin to think differently about the IMPACT of your actions.  You are now on a mission to impact other people, and to do that you must become the role model God wants you to be.  #4  You need to rethink your RESPONSES to people around you and REPLACE the bad ones with good ones.   Since you are a new creature in Christ, Your behavior must change to reflect that. 

This is how you PUT ON the new man.  Adopt a new goal.

GOAL; Become Like Christ

put off the old man with his deeds, 10 and put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him,

According to the image.  Who’s image?  Christ’s image.  You must decide that the most important thing in your life is that you want to become like Jesus. 

Ephesians 5:1-2 commands us to “be imitators of God.”

Philippians 2:5  tells us “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus.”

Jesus told his disciples, “Everyone, when he is fully trained will be like his teacher.”  Luke 6:40

1 Corinthians 11:1 Paul said, “You be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ.”

So, let me be clear, if you really want life change, you must adopt the right goal.  The only goal that will get you where you need to go is this one:  that I might be like Jesus.  Pray, “Oh, Lord, that is my goal to become like Christ.”

This is how you PUT ON the new man.  Adopt a new goal.  Use a new method.

METHOD; The Word of God

10 put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him,

What does it mean that the new man is “renewed in knowledge?”  Renewed ἀνακαινόω anakainoo means new growth, new strength, new life as opposed to the old life.  This is the way that Christians become transformed.  We become renewed, re-invigorated, strengthened in a way we have never experienced before. 

And how does that happened through knowledge.  What is this storehouse of knowledge that is so powerful that it can overcome our addictions and make us live a new life?  Let’s see if we can figure that out.  Here are some clues. 

2 Corinthians 3:17-18  Now where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. 18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord..

The Holy Spirit uses something called a mirror to transform us.  We look into it and it changes us.  That is the storehouse of knowledge from the book of Colossians. 

Another clue.  Romans 12:2 “do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may demonstrate what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” 

This storehouse of knowledge renews and transforms the mind.  Once that happens we are able to live out the good life. 

A third clue James 1:22-25, “22 be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. 23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; 24 for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. 25 But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed.

This storehouse of knowledge is called “the perfect law of liberty,”  or “the Word.”  If we look into the law of liberty and continue in it, it transforms us. 

I’m sure you must know that this amazing storehouse of knowledge is “the world of God’s grace, which is able to build you up” and transform you!  (Act 20:32)

The method that you must use to put on the new man is time spent in God’s Word.  Don’t just spend moments, although that’s better than nothing; Don’t be casual about the Word, that won’t be profitable; Spend a serious chunk of time, reading, studying, memorizing and meditating on God’s Word. 

When you get into the Word, and the Word gets into you; that’s when transformation takes place. 

IMPACT of your actions

You are now on a mission to impact other people with your life, and to do that you must become the role model God wants you to be. 

11 In the body of Christ there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcised nor uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave nor free, but Christ is all and in all.

Now why did God drop this interesting verse about our equality in Christ right in the middle of our discussion on the new man?  Perhaps because God wants us to gain a new outlook on other believers.  In Christ, your ethnicity doesn’t make you better or worse than anyone else (Jew or Greek, circumcised or uncircumcised).  In Christ, neither your past, nor your position, nor your wealth or lack of it make you a better or worse Christian than anyone else.

So here’s the idea.  The New Man treats every other man and woman in the body of Christ as a valuable, precious member of the Body of Christ.  Neither Race, ethnicity, background, education, wealth or lack of it is an excuse for mistreating a brother or a sister. 

We are on a mission to impact rich and poor, slave and free, black and white, Jew and Gentile. 

And we have received a special calling in order to accomplish that, according to verse 12:  We are the elect of God!  God has chosen us!  We are His!  We need to live like we are his.  We are holy!  God set us apart for himself so we can be pure!  We are beloved!  Maybe you don’t feel like you’re doing a good job representing God nor living a holy life, regardless you are still loved!  God doesn’t love us because of or goodness, he loves us in spite of it, and he doesn’t want to leave us in that life!  That’s why he has called us! 

This is how you PUT ON the new man.  Adopt a new goal.  Use a new method. consider the impact of your actions.  And you need to spend time rethink they way you RESPOND to people around you. 

REPLACE; with Godly Life Change

You must describe what your new life should look like.  Everybody gets to chose how they will respond.  If you feel justified in being angry, you will be angry. 

Colossians 3:8-9 lists six ugly worldly responses.  Anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language and lying.  These are what you will typically see in people around town.  Why do people respond this way?  Because they feel justified in their behavior.

But Colossians 3:12-14 lists eight godly responses

It says, instead, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. 14 But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.

Everybody gets to choose their responses.  Choose your responses.  Here’s a better way.  Be tender and merciful.  Be kind.  Be humble, meek even.  Be longsuffering, put up with other people even when they are unbearable.  Forgive them and most of all love them! 

Great choices.  Choose your behavior.  Which of the two lists do you want to follow? 

Here is one of the secrets for changing your behavior.  You can’t just stop one behavior without replacing it with another one!  It just doesn’t work.  People want to stop smoking, drinking, overeating and gambling… but just stopping leaves a void in their lives.  You need to replace those behaviors with something better.  Let me see if I can explain it:

You just can’t stop lying, you must replace that behavior with truth telling.  You can’t just stop being angry, you must replace that behavior with tender mercy and kindness.  You can’t just stop swearing at people, you must replace that behavior with forgiveness and love.  Do you get the idea?

This is called “the positive replacement principle.”  And I guarantee that you will never stop your bad behavior until you decide that you shouldn’t treat yourself and other people a different way.  There is a better way, a right way, a godly way to treat people. 

Regularly practicing these virtues will strengthen your resolve to overcome other sins.  In fact over time they will help you improve your self-control by practicing them[iv]

One way to kick bad habits is to actively replace unhealthy routines with new, healthy ones.  These alternative behaviors can counteract the urges to repeat a bad behavior.[v]  Abandon activities that lead to mental associations that induce bad habits.  Stay Away From Temptations That Help Feed Your Addiction Or Bad Habits

And if you decide to put on the new man, to replace your bad way of treating people with a godly way of treating people, it will powerfully, positively and triumphantly change your life! 

Get your life back.  Make the changes that you need to make to live the way you’ve always wanted to live.  Put Jesus first.  Immerse yourself in the Word of God.  Reject your prejudices against one another.  Embrace who you are as a child of God, and start treating people as Jesus would have you treat them. 

Drop your defensiveness and pick up some compassion.  Stop justifying your bad behavior and start treating people with kindness and humility.  And the bottom line is that you must love the Lord Jesus Christ with all your heart, soul mind and strength, and He will change your life! 


[i] https://americanaddictioncenters.org/sobriety-guide/coping-mechanism

[ii] https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2012/01/breaking-bad-habits#:~:text=In%20a%20sense%2C%20then%2C%20parts,trying%20so%20hard%20to%20resist.

[iii] https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2012/01/breaking-bad-habits#:~:text=In%20a%20sense%2C%20then%2C%20parts,trying%20so%20hard%20to%20resist.

[iv] https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2012/01/breaking-bad-habits#:~:text=In%20a%20sense%2C%20then%2C%20parts,trying%20so%20hard%20to%20resist.

[v] https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2012/01/breaking-bad-habits#:~:text=In%20a%20sense%2C%20then%2C%20parts,trying%20so%20hard%20to%20resist.

The Most Powerful Force in the World

What you believe about yourself determines your spiritual, physical and emotional health.  If you believe right, your body, soul, spirit and mind will respond with vibrancy, health and joy.  But if you believe wrong you will live in sadness, sin and failure.  “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.”  Today we will show you the path to life and the reality of death to self.  You can live a life of victory.  If you think you can, you’re right.

Heb 11:6 “without faith it is impossible to please God.” 

Mar 9:23 “If you believe.  All things are possible.” 

Matthew 17:20-21 “if you have faith… nothing will be impossible for you.”

James 1:6-8 “you must ask in faith, without doubting.”

Phil 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” 

Put to Death Degenerate Behavior 5-6

Five deadly sexual sins:

#1 Fornication – a catch all word meaning any sexual sin.  

#2 Uncleanness – impure sexual thoughts and illicit behaviors. 

#3 passion – sexual fantasies and romances of the mind.

#4 evil desire – craving for things God has forbidden. 

#5 covetousness. – desire to have something that is not yours. 

Idolatry is when you place anything ahead of God. 

Because of these things the wrath of God is coming.

These deviant behaviors trap those who fall prey to them. 

Faith is the powerful remedy for sin.

MEMBERS–a limb: or a body part.  “flesh,” flesh and blood.

OLD MAN – the old nature or sin nature. 

NEW MAN – The new nature.  Granted when you become a Christian.

Your nature is your operations center, controlling your body.

Your new nature enables you to live an abundant life.

Our old man was crucified with Christ. Rom 6:6

Reckon yourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God. Rom 6:11

“Recon” means to believe that something is true, to take God at His word.”

You are to believe you are dead to sin.   

Put Away Corrupt Communication 7-10

Six deadly communication sins:

#1.  Anger – this is a typical bad temper.

#2.  Wrath – wrath, fierce anger, overflowing heat, boiling over anger. 

#3 Malice – ill-will, desire to injure. 

#4 Blasphemy–injurious speech aimed both at God and man. 

#6 A lie – deliberate falsehood. 

To put off is a decision to stop saying bad stuff.

The words we speak profoundly affect our health and our world. 

Change your words and you will change your world. 

Do you believe God?  Whether you do or not, FAITH is one of the most powerful forces that God has made available to us humans.  What you believe, and how sincerely, passionately and powerfully you believe is the measure that will determine the quality of your life.  And the most important thing you can believe is that is that Jesus Christ, the sinless Son of God, died for your sins. 


What you believe about yourself determines your spiritual, physical and emotional health.  If you believe right, your body, soul, spirit and mind will respond with vibrancy, health and joy.  But if you believe wrong you will live in sadness, sin and failure. 

Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.” 

Do you struggle to overcome persistent sin?  Do you find yourself defeated time and time again?

This is truly the problem of the average Christian.  We have been told in God’s Word that we can have victory over sin, but too many of us have not experienced it.  Today we are going to give you a powerful truth that will transform your attitudes and behavior, if you will believe it and practice it. 

It is the truth of what Jesus has genuinely done for us on the cross which has defeated sin and given us the victory.  Today we will show you the path to life and the reality of death to self.  You can live a life of victory.  If you think you can, you’re right.

As it turns out, FAITH is the most powerful force that God has made available to us humans, as long as it is faith in the truth.  What you believe, and how sincerely, passionately and powerfully you believe is the measure that will determine the quality of your life.

Heb 11:6 “without faith it is impossible to please God.” 

Mar 9:23 “If you believe.  All things are possible.” 

Matthew 17:20-21 “if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.”

James 1:6-8 “you must ask in faith, without doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. Let not that man think that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.”

Phil 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” 

Believe it. 

So today, we are going to give you a one – two punch to knock out sin.  1 – put to death bad behavior 2 – Put off Corrupt Communication. 

Put to Death Degenerate Behavior

5 Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.

It is quite likely that you have struggled with one or more of these five deadly sins. They are mostly sexual.  #1 Fornication – πορνεία porneia – any sexual sin – adultery, homosexuality, lesbianism, bestiality, pornography.   #2 Uncleanness ἀκαθαρσία akatharsia These are impure sexual thoughts and illicit behaviors like cross dressing, and gender confusion.  #3 passion – πάθος pathos – sexual fantasies and romances of the mind that are prevalent in romance novels and risqué movies. #4 evil desire – ἐπιθυμία epithumia –craving for things God has forbidden, like stalking, pedophilia, child trafficking or kidnapping.  #5 covetousness.  πλεονεξία pleonexia – desire to have something that is not yours, like your neighbors wife or possessions. 

And that of course is idolatry.  When you place anything ahead of God, it is a form of idolatry. 

Sexual confusion and sexual gratification are widely practiced in our society.  These are highly destructive behaviors that rot the soul, destroy the family, and devastate society. 

6 Because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience, 7 in which you yourselves once walked when you lived in them.

These deviant behaviors trap those who fall prey to them.  The illustration of the escalator of love helps explain the problem.  People like to experiment.  But once you set foot on the escalator of love, it’s difficult to get off.  The escalator keeps going up, and you keep getting deeper into sin; even if you want to stop, if you have turned around are trying to go back down against the flow it is extremely difficult.

That’s where faith comes in to play for the Christian.  This powerful remedy is waiting to in your soul and burst into flames, enabling you to rise above your sins, and get off the escalator of love.  Here’s how it works, here is how you do it:

Put to death your members 5

Now, what does that mean?  Let me share a few vocabulary words to help you understand what we are talking about:  MEMBERS – μέλος melos – A Members is a limb: or a body part.  You body is also known as “flesh” or flesh and blood.

OLD MAN – παλαιός palaios – old ἄνθρωπος anthropos – man.  This is what we call the old nature or sin nature.  Your nature is your operations center.  Your very nature controls you body. 

NEW MAN – νέος neos – new recently born, young, youthful anthropos – man.  This is what is known as the new nature or new man.  You get a new nature when you become a Christian, enabling you to live an abundant life.

Romans 6:6 says, “knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Christ, that sin in our body might be destroyed, that we should no longer be slaves of sin.

Here is the truth of what happened when Jesus died for our sins.  “I have been crucified with Christ!”  When we trust Jesus as Savior, our Old Nature is crucified with Christ.  When Jesus died, our old nature died with it.  We now have a New Nature. 

Now we are dead to sin.  That’s what Romans 6:11 says

11 Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Now here is where the believing part comes in.  The word “recon” λογίζομαι logizomai means to “consider, to think that something is true, to take God at His word.”  God says you are to take His word for it that now that you now have a new nature, and you are to take His word for it that you are dead to sin.  You are to believe it.  This is how you, “put your members to death!” You believe it!

Now let me tell you how powerful this is.  Have you ever heard of the “placebo effect?”  A study from Stanford University found that just thinking you’re prone to a given outcome trumps both nature and nurture. In fact, simply believing a physical reality about yourself actually nudges the body in that direction. 

The researchers told a random set of participants that they carried a gene that that kept them from tiring easily. They also told another set of participants the exact opposite.  Those who were told they had poor endurance genes couldn’t run as long as they had previously.  They pooped out. Those who were told they had better endurance ran longer, regardless of what genes they actually carried. [i]

In other tests, up to 70% of patients given a placebo – or fake pill – who were told that it was a cure for what they had, got better, often at a much higher rate than those who are given the actual drug!  What happens with the placebo effect is that the brain anticipates an outcome. The mind then communicates to the body the anticipated outcome and prepares the body for healing. This process can miraculously create natural chemical reactions, curing depression and other ailments without the harmful side effects.[ii]

But what happens when it’s not a placebo, but it’s the truth.  Simple changes in mindset can provide massive benefits.  God says that you have been crucified with Christ.  God says that you must believe it in order to put to death the sins of the flesh.  The only question that remains is this:  Are you going to believe it.  For those who take God at His Word, they do the impossible!  They overcome their sin.

Put Away Corrupt Communication

8 But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. 9 Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds,

So, verses 5-7 dealt with the deeds of the flesh, most of them sexual in nature.  We are supposed to believe ourselves dead to sin.  No verses 8-9 deal with sins of communication.  These are six attitudes and words which will defeat us.

#1.  anger ὀργή orge – anger, this is a typical bad temper.  #2.  Wrath θυμός thumos – wrath, fierce anger, overflowing heat, boiling over anger.  #3 Malice κακία kakia – ill-will, desire to injure.  #4 Blasphemy βλασφημία blasphemia – This is injurious speech that can be aimed both at God and man.  Toward man it is slander to another’s good name.  To God it is sacrilegious speech  about God.  #5 filthy language αἰσχρολογία aischrologia – any dirty or immoral speech #6 A Lie ψεύδομαι pseudomai – deliberate falsehood. 

Why shouldn’t we talk like this?  Because we are created in the image of God, and any low life conversation that degrades another human being degrades God.  Instead we are to only say things that encourage one another and build one another up. 

How do you quit using filthy language?  How do you stop lying, gossiping; how do you get rid of wrath and anger?  The Bible has the answer.

8 But now you yourselves are to put off all these:

Now, what does that mean?  ἀποτίθημι apotithemi – to put off is to set something aside and put it away from you.  It is a simple process.  It is like changing your dirty clothes.  As a believer who is dead to sin, I choose to stop saying bad stuff, and I have decided instead to start saying good stuff.  I take off the old dirty language, throw it in the washing machine, and put on the fresh clean language that I have hanging in my Christian closet.  I dress myself in clean Christian language.

The words we speak are profoundly powerful dramatically affecting our health, happiness and the world around us.  Change your words and you will change your world.  People respond to our good words.  Kindness impacts them.  Sympathy changes their hearts.  Generosity brings them joy.  Forgiveness turns enemies into friends.  Encouragement helps them overcome depression.  And being straight up with them in all cases fosters trust. 

Do you believe these things?  Whether you do or not, FAITH is one of the most powerful forces that God has made available to us humans.  What you believe, and how sincerely, passionately and powerfully you believe is the measure that will determine the quality of your life. 

And the most important thing you can believe is that is that Jesus Christ, the sinless Son of God, died for your sins.  He paid the price for your eternal salvation, and he offers heaven as a free gift, if you will receive it.  You must repent of believing that your way is the right way, and instead believe on Jesus to save you.  If you will do that, Jesus will powerfully change your life in ways you never dreamed possible!


[i] https://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2018/12/12/mind-over-matter-may-actually-work-when-it-comes-to-health-study-finds/?sh=3758a5ab7bd7

[ii] https://www.forbes.com/sites/nicolesilver/2022/02/17/accessing-the-power-of-your-mind-placebo-effect-and-law-of-attraction/?sh=569790e05bf7

It Starts in the Mind

Is your thought life healthy?  Your thoughts have the incredible power to shape your life.  As a man thinks within himself, so he is.  Today we will begin rebuilding your mind.  Your mind is greatest ally or your worst enemy.  And if you want to get your life back, you must find a way to control your thought life.  The great news is that you can control of what you think.

SEEK the things that are above 1

Believers should seek the things that are of higher worth. 

“Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness.”  Matthew 6:33. 

We must be heavenly minded, or we will be of no earthly good! 

Seek means to go out searching for spiritual realities. 

Colossians 3:1 must be our top priority.

In order to get your mind set properly, you must set God centered priorities.    

SET your mind on things above 2

Verse 1 relates to the values and priorities.

Verse 2 is talking about focusing your thoughts on those goals and values.

You are not your thoughts; you are a thinker of your thoughts.

Don’t believe everything you think! 

You should regularly redirect your thoughts to spiritual realities. 

The more you think about Jesus, the more joy you will experience. 

Your thoughts should be occupied with eternal things. 

You are responsible for your thoughts once you think them. 

Take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.  -2 Cor 10:5

Whatever is right, think about such things. – Philippians 4:8

DO NOT set your mind on earthly things 2-4

The earth is the physical world, as opposed to the spiritual world. 

The earth is made up of everything that surrounds you. 

All these things will pass away. 2 Peter 3:11

Do not set your life on earthly things because you are DEAD to this life. 

 Set Your Mind on Heavenly Things because Christ is your LIFE

You are what you think.  Your thoughts determine the direction and quality of your life.  Change your thoughts and you change your life.  Keep your thoughts on things that are above because your thought becomes your WORDS. Keep your words focused on heavenly things because your words become your BEHAVIOR. Keep your behavior pleasing to Jesus because your behavior becomes your HABITS. Keep your habits God honoring because your habits become your VALUES. Keep your values biblical because your values are your DESTINY”

MESSAGE

Is your thought life healthy?  Your thoughts have the incredible power to shape your life.  Proverbs 23:7 As a man thinks within himself, so he is. 

In the past five weeks we have looked at toxic philosophies and thought patterns that destroy lives.  If you have allowed your brain to be controlled by secularism, legalism, mysticism or asceticism, your life is in danger.  You need to end those conversations, and replace them with truth.  Today we will begin rebuilding your mind. 

The problem is that the mind is not a safe place.  The mind is a battle ground.  Every mind has a choice between a healthy attitude and a destructive thought life that can be critical, paranoid and suspicious. This inner critic can take over our thinking and lead to our ruination.

Your mind is greatest ally or your worst enemy.

ALL that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is most often the direct result of his own thoughts.

THE body is the servant of the mind. It obeys the operations of the mind. At the bidding of improper thoughts the body sinks rapidly into depression, disease and decay; at the command of glad and beautiful thoughts it becomes clothed with joy and hope.

Dr. Caroline Leaf in her book Switch On Your Brain, says this; “As we think, we change the physical nature of our brain.”[i]  When you think, you build thoughts, and these become physical substances…” [ii] and as we consciously direct our thinking, we can wire toxic patterns of thinking or replace them with healthy thoughts.

Your body believes everything you believe even if what you believe is not the truth! When your body is responding to these untrue thoughts many parts of your body respond in an ‘unhealthy’ way. These areas include your organs, muscles, nervous system, glands, digestive system and your mind. Every single thought creates a chemical reaction, good or bad, so let’s have a lot of great thoughts![iii]

Such is the power of the though life, and if you want to get your life back, you must find a way to control your thought life.  The great news is that you can control of what you think. No one can take that from you unless you give it away.

But you must also remember, that it’s not just about thinking positive thoughts; even positive thoughts can be off the mark… it is about choosing the right thoughts, the true thoughts, and the highest thoughts.  And that is what we are going to teach you today. 

Three points:  SEEK, SET, and DON’T SET

SEEK the things that are above 1

If you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. 3:1

Notice the word if.  It is a conditional word.  In this particular passage, Greek Scholars tell me that the word is called a “First Class Conditional” statement.  That means that it is a statement of fact rather than a stipulation.  It could be translated this way, “SINCE you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above.” 

No matter how you translate it, it means that Believers should seek the things that are of higher worth.  We should set our goals to seek the things that are higher than the heavens.  Our sights should be set on Jesus, who is seated at the right hand of the father.

Jesus put it this way, “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.”  Matthew 6:33.  This is telling us to be heavenly minded, or we will be of no earthly good! 

Now what does it mean to seek?  ζητέω zeteo “to seek in order to find.”  It means to go out searching for spiritual realities. 

If I were to ask you what your top 5 goals are in life, what would they be?  1.  Would it be to have a happy family?  2.  Would it be to improve your physical health?  3.  Would it be to get a dream job or career?  4.  Would it be Financial Stability?  5.  Would it be to take that dream vacation or spend more time in recreation? 

Those are some good goals.  And some of you have actually set out to get those things.  You spend time with the family, you work out, you work hard, and play harder. 

But if you didn’t put Colossians 3:1 as your top priority, you’re missing the point of this statement.  Seek First the kingdom.  Set, as your highest priority, seeking the things that are above! 

We are talking about your Priorities.  Are spiritual things your number one goal, or have you accidently, incidentally or purposely placed some other value higher than spiritual things?    You will seek to gain the things that you treasure the most.  If you draw inaccurate conclusions about who you are and what you’re capable of doing, you’ll limit your potential.

In order to get your mind set properly, you must set God centered priorities.  The number one way to get your life back and to get rid of the delusions of stinking thinking is to regularly, purposely and passionately seek the things that are above. 

SET your mind on things above 2

Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. 2

While verse 1 relates to the values and priorities we should seek to have a happy mind, verse 2 is talking about setting up the mind for success by focusing our thoughts on those goals and values.  Verse 1 choose your values; Verse 2 think about your values.

The human mind processes anywhere between 50,000 to upwards of 70,000 thoughts in any given day.  You probably spend very little time reflecting on the way you think. After all, who thinks about thinking?

That’s what verse 2 is about.  It is about ordering the thoughts in your mind so that you think most about the most important things to think about. 

You are not your thoughts; you are a thinker of your thoughts. You hear them, you acknowledge them and then you process them.  You can believe them or you can let them go.  Don’t believe everything you think!  If the thought crosses your mind that you are a unicorn, would you believe it? (I hope the answer is no!)  I also hope that if you think that you are an alien or a woman or George Washington, I hope you reject all those thoughts as false.  So why do you believe it when you have a thought that you’re ugly or stupid or crazy or unlovable?

More to the point, you should be regularly redirecting your thoughts to spiritual realities.  The more successfully you think about Jesus, and things that are above, the more joy you will experience. 

The word set φρονέω phroneo to direct one’s mind to a thing, to have understanding, be wise, to feel, to think wisely.  Your thoughts should be occupied with eternal things. 

In today’s world The Media has wormed its way into Your Mind:  No matter where you go, thoughts are being implanted.  Your  cell phone, computer, billboards, the floor tiles in the grocery store, banners at a ballgame, taglines on a t-shirt–we take in media impressions minute by minute.  And let’s not forget that our enemy the Devil does is best to whisper his lies into your mind.

You may not be responsible for the thoughts that enter your mind, but you are responsible for what happens to them once they get there. 

2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us to demolish arguments and every pretentious thought that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.  –

Philippians 4:8 Whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things. –

Choose your values, and choose your thoughts.  However…

DO NOT set your mind on earthly things

Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. 2

What does this mean?  γῆ ge the earth is the physical world, as opposed to the things above, which is the spiritual world.  The earth is made up of wealth, honor, pleasure, houses, lands – everything you see and everything that surrounds you. 

2 Peter 3:11 tells us, Therefore, since all these things will be dissolved and pass away, what manner of persons ought you to be in holy conduct and godliness.

If your life only consists of earthly things, then your spiritual vitality is lacking.  Listen to what Jesus said about seeking first the kingdom in Matthew 6:31-33

“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

I guess it all depends on what you think real life is all about.  If you think real life is all about fast cars, big money, power, position, recreation, entertainment or any other pleasure this life can give, then your mind will be taken up seeking those things and worrying about this life.  But if you think that Jesus is real life, that the Holy Spirit brings vitality, and that heaven is your real home, you’ll spend more and more time focusing on those things. 

I want to leave you with two thoughts.  If you are a believer this is a truth you should embrace, or your mind is in trouble: 

#1 Do not set your life on earthly things because you are DEAD to this life. 

3:3  For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

You may not be able to see it now, but one day it will be reality.

#2 Set Your Mind on Heavenly Things because Christ is your LIFE

3:3 When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory. 

You are what you think.  The mind is a dangerous place.  Your thoughts determine the direction and quality of your life.  Change your thoughts and you change your life. 

Keep your thoughts on things that are above because your thought becomes YOUR WORDS. Keep your words focused on heavenly things because your words become YOUR BEHAVIOR. Keep your behavior pleasing to Jesus because your behavior becomes YOUR HABITS. Keep your habits God honoring because your habits become YOUR VALUES. Keep your values biblical because your values are your YOUR DESTINY”

“Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.”  Matthew 6:33.  Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.  You may not be responsible for the thoughts that enter your mind, but you are responsible for what happens to them once they get there. 

Whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things. –


[i] https://medium.com/baysidechurch/7-verses-about-the-power-of-your-thoughts-8a50b8e1910f

[ii] https://medium.com/baysidechurch/7-verses-about-the-power-of-your-thoughts-8a50b8e1910f

[iii] https://www.hellobrain.com.au/blog/the-truth-about-thoughts

The Dangers of Asceticism

Jesus said, “Unless a man deny himself and take up his cross and follow me, he cannot be my disciple.”  What do those words mean, and what kind of sacrifice does Jesus expect from us?  Paul’s main criticism of asceticism is that it is based on manmade ideas and it diminished Christ: the Head of the church. 

Asceticism asks for the vows of poverty, chastity and sacrificial obedience.  

These vows, they claim, provide for a purification of soul and freedom.

Asceticism is avoidance of pleasure for the purpose of reaching purity. 

Asceticism is an insidious attack on holiness. 

It is not that all are bad ideas; it is just that Asceticism can’t defeat sin.  

Avoid Worldly Principles 20

We should reject all worldly principles because they contain error. 

If any advice goes against biblical truth, it is to be discarded. 

It is the religion of “Don’t!” 20-21

Do not touch – avoid socially unacceptable people.  Social asceticism.

Do not taste –   avoid unclean food. Nutritional asceticism.

Do not handle – avoid unclean things. Ritual asceticism. 

The kingdom of God is not based on eating or drinking.  Romans 14:17

It concerns temporal things 22

Asceticism is focused on the physical and the material. 

“It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a man.  Matthew 15:18-20

It is based on worldly ideas 22

Asceticism was made by man, not by God. 

These commandments are human not divine. 

It has the appearance of wisdom 23

Some of these things are noble and encouraged in the New Testament.

Asceticism, however, traps you into a fruitless lifestyle. 

It is a humanly invented religion 23

All of them lead a life of “don’t do this or that” religion.

Jesus teaches that we should enjoy the gifts God gave us.

It is based on false humility 23

Asceticism appears to be self abasing, but is really self promoting. 

If Christ is not exalted it is the worst kind of pride.

Its focus is bodily neglect 23

It is not godly to ruin your body or to deprive it of the nutrients it needs. 

Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.  1 Corinthians 6:19-20

It is of no value against sins of the flesh 23

Asceticism cannot defeat sin.   It lacks the power. 

You cannot eradicate sin.  That’s why Asceticism doesn’t work. 

Embrace Christ Centered Principles

The rest of the book of Colossians explains how to get your life back!

The simple answer is to set your mind on things that are above.

This answers the question, “Can we make ourselves more holy if we treat our bodies more harshly?  Will asceticism save you?”  Will these vows provide purification of soul and spiritual freedom?”  The answer is clear, Asceticism cannot defeat sin.   It lacks the power.  Jesus wants to transform your life.  He wants you to live a simple life of faith.  Does he want you to deny yourself and take up your cross and follow Him?  Yes he does.  But Jesus is the one that transforms, not our efforts.  Trust Him!

MESSAGE

Jesus said, “unless a man deny himself and take up his cross and follow me, he cannot be my disciple.” 

What do those words mean, and what kind of sacrifice does Jesus expect from us?  What are you willing to sacrifice for Christ? 

Asceticism attempts to answer those questions.  One form of Religious Asceticism has come to the conclusion that in order to really be holy and be pleasing to God, you must take the vows of poverty, chastity and sacrificial obedience to the ministry.   These vows, they claim, provide for a purification of soul and spiritual freedom that uniquely marks the life of one so consecrated.  These are the answer (they believe).

What is asceticism?  If Secularism is the most dangerous philosophy of the world, and Legalism is the most dangerous philosophy of religion, and Mysticism is the most dangerous attack on your spirituality, asceticism is the most insidious attack on holiness; it claims that it is the way to purify your soul and overcome the sins of the flesh, but it is not. 

Religious Asceticism is strict self-denial and avoidance of all forms of pleasure and indulgence, for the purpose of reaching purity and spiritual freedom. 

It may include such disciplines as regular fasting, celibacy, wearing simple or uncomfortable clothing, poverty, avoiding Alcohol, Drugs, Nicotine, Sex and in extreme forms, sleep deprivation, flagellation, self-mutilation and avoiding everything from food seasonings to eye contact, to laughter, to desserts, and Social interaction. [i] 

All for the purpose of detoxing the flesh so you can purge you body of sin and reach spiritual freedom.  But it was unprofitable!  It is not that some of these things are bad ideas, it is just that Asceticism can’t defeat sin.   It lacks the power.

There was some kind of false teaching going on that Paul was very concerned about, and it involved asceticism, Paul’s main criticism of what was happening is that it was based on manmade ideas and regulations and it diminished Christ: the all-supplying Head of the church.  And we should at all cost avoid these worldly principles:

Avoid Worldly Principles

20 Therefore, if you died with Christ from the basic principles of the world, why, as though living in the world, do you subject yourselves to its regulations

The word “therefore,” means “accordingly, consequently, these things being so,” the things that we just discussed earlier in chapter 2; You know, secularism, legalism and mysticism.  These three, are basic principles of the world system.  They are not godly, they are worldly, and their ideas are dead to us!  We should reject all worldly ideas. 

So Paul begins this section on Asceticism by asking the question, since we have rejected all worldly principles, why is it that you are still practicing their rules, their regulations, their customs, their ceremonies and their rituals!  Why do you subject yourself to false anti-biblical ways. 

And I would ask you the same question; why are you still listening to the advice of unsaved men and women?  Why do you still watch them on TV?  Why do you still listen to them on the radio?  Why do you sing their songs? Read their stories? Send your children to be educated by them?  And get your marriage and family advice from the?  

If their advice goes against biblical truth, it is to be discarded. 

What follows verse 20 are eight statements that describe the dangers of Asceticism.  Please join me as we deconstruct this dangerous philosophy.  #1

It is the religion of “Don’t!” 20-21

Why do you subject yourself it regulation; 21 “Do not touch, do not taste, do not handle,”

Asceticism teaches that you should avoid all pleasures. 

In the world of ritual uncleanness, the Jews developed an entire system of rules that had to be followed or you could never be involved in temple worship.  Do not touch – Acts 10:28, Peter declares that “it is unlawful for a Jew to touch to or approach anyone of another nation,” or they became unclean.  Do not taste –   they weren’t supposed to eat any unclean animal, it was wrong to even taste bacon – the best they could do is smell it on the frying pan!  Do not handle – They were not supposed to touch unclean things like the sick or the dead. 

The Jews and the Gnostic developed this idea into a distorted idea that in order to become pure you had to swear off relationships with the ungodly, even if they were your family.  This was social asceticism.  You had to deprive yourself even of the taste of unclean food, and that became extrapolated to mean any pleasurable food like chocolate or dessert or anything other than plain gruel.  This was nutritional asceticism.  You had to avoid handling unclean animals, dead animals, weeping injuries, death and disease.  The Pharisees used to wash after they returned from the market, lest they should have accidently been defiled by touching something unclean.  This was ritual asceticism. 

Don’t drink, don’t shave, don’t wear nice clothes, give up chocolate, don’t eat fish on Friday, and the list goes on and on. 

Romans 14:17 for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.

The second truth of Asceticism is that it concerns earthly things. 

It concerns temporal things 21

22 which all concern things which perish with the using—

I want you to notice that while Mysticism is focused on the realm of the supernatural and the spiritual, Asceticism is focused on the physical and the material. 

It is about what you eat, or don’t eat.  It is about what you drink or don’t drink.  It is about what you smoke or don’t smoke.  It is about human interaction or lack of it.  It is about punishing ;your body and stressing your physical self.  Listen to what Jesus said about that. 

“It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a man; but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man.  For the things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. These are the things which defile a man.  Matthew 15:18-20

The third reality about Asceticism is that it is based on human ideas. 

It is based on worldly ideas 22

according to the commandments and doctrines of men?

This is what you need to understand about the philosophy of Asceticism; it was made by man, not by God.  These commandments are human not divine.  These doctrines are made by mortals, not by the Almighty.  Don’t get caught up in the.  The fourth thing: 

It has the appearance of wisdom 23

23 These things indeed have an appearance of wisdom

Let’s face it, some of these things are noble, and some of them are even encouraged in the New Testament; fasting, abstinence from alcohol or drugs, self denial… who could be against these things?

An ascetic lifestyle involves adherence to higher standards rather than extravagant leisure or mindless entertainment.  The idea even seems sound.

So what happens is that general unhappiness in people creates the urge take radical decisions and adopt a worldview in which you create an artificial solution to your unhappiness. But in the end you are just chasing a fruitless lifestyle that doesn’t really make you feel any better.  Don’t let it trap you.

Number five

It is a humanly invented religion

in self-imposed religion, 23

Asceticism has been observed in many religious traditions, including Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Christianity, and Judaism. 

The essences allowed themselves no food that was pleasant to the taste, but ate dry, course bread, and drank only water.  Many of them ate nothing until sunset, and if anyone touched them who did not belong to their sect, they washed themselves as if they had been most deeply defiled.  (Barnes)

Gnosticism combined ideas from Greek philosophy, oriental mysticism, and Christianity.  they taught a person to lead a life of contemplation and rigorous self-denial and abstinence.

But the church taught a proper enjoyment of life, and Christians stand out because we are different.

Number six

It is based on false humility

false humility,

Asceticism appears to be self abasing, but is really self promoting.  Asceticism is paradoxical.  The paradox of asceticism is that the ascetic deprives himself of some things he wants, thus causing himself pain, because this is a necessary condition of enjoying the greater pleasure of getting something else he wants more.

They appear to be humble by participating in painful rites, fasting, abstinence and penance, wearing sack cloth and ashes.  But under it lurks the worst kind of pride.  Because pride is pampered when self is applauded.

The main questions are, Is Christ being exalted or is self being exalted? While crucifying the sin of gluttony, are you feeding the sin of pride?

Number seven

Its focus is bodily neglect

neglect of the body,

It is one thing to fast, it is another thing to fast to the detriment of your body.  It’s ok to eat plain food, but it’s another to deprive your body of the nutrients it needs.  Things like depriving yourself of sleep, flagellation and self mutilation are not honoring to the body. 

At some point we need to remind ourselves that God wants us to take care of our body!  He wants you to get adequate rest, nutrition, medical care and proper hygiene. You should bath daily, brush your teeth and wear clean clothes. 

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.  It is the only one you’ve got.  Take care of it.  Glorify God with it. 

Number eight

It is of no value against sins of the flesh

but are of no value against the indulgence of the flesh.

This answers the question, “Can we make ourselves more holy if we treat our bodies more harshly?  Will asceticism save you?”  Will these vows provide purification of soul and spiritual freedom?”  The answer is clear, Asceticism cannot defeat sin.   It lacks the power. 

Let me give you an example from real life.  There is a modern trend called Dopamine fasting: This practice aims to restore the brain’s natural flow of dopamine by restricting the brains access to pleasure-inducing activities and substances. 

What is dopamine?  dopamine is—a feel-good chemical that’s produced in the brain, which rewards us for performing life’s simple pleasures, whether it be running, enjoying a sunny day, or eating pecan pie. On the other hand, dopamine is a major player in the formation of addictions when we sin.[ii]

Dopamine fasting was meant to be an escape from the increasing amount of stimulus in their daily lives.  Everything from food seasonings to eye contact, laughter, and exercise can be restricted by some dopamine fasters.  Alcohol, Drugs, Seasoning on foods, Pleasure foods, like desserts, Nicotine, Sex Social interactions, Eye contact and conversations (which are at least reduced to a bare minimum), Exercise, Laughter[iii]

But here’s the catch:  Because dopamine is naturally produced in the brain, there’s no real way to “detox” or rid ourselves of it.  Dopamine fasting is a practice to avoid. [iv] 

And that is the very reason why Asceticism doesn’t work.  But there is something that does!  In fact the rest of the book of Colossians is going to explain what that is:

Embrace Christ Centered Principles you can be holy

What we will discover next is that if you set your mind on things that are above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of the Father, Jesus Himself will transform your life! 

Can we make ourselves more holy if we treat our bodies more harshly?  No!  Let me end with this story.

It was just over 500 years ago, in the fall of 1510, that a desperate Roman Catholic monk made what he thought would be the spiritual pilgrimage of a lifetime. He had become an Augustinian monk five years earlier in hopes that monasticism and Asceticism would save him. 

It was the fear of the wrath of God that consumed him for the next five years—so much so, in fact, that he did everything within his power to placate his guilty conscience.  He dedicated himself to the fasting, penance, and prayer eight times a day. He even performed acts of self-punishment like depriving himself of sleep, enduring cold winter nights without a blanket, almost freezing to death, working for nothing to support the poor and, in an attempt to atone for his sins, even whipping himself.  He punished his body so severely that he did permanent damage to his digestive system.[v]

Reflecting on this time of his life, he would later say, “If anyone could have earned heaven by his monkery, it was I”

So it was, five years after he became a monk, in the year 1510, that this desperate man made what he thought would be the spiritual pilgrimage of a lifetime. He travelled to the center of Catholic thought and power—the city of Rome.

He thought that if he paid homage to the shrines of the apostles and made confession there, in that holy city, he would secure the greatest absolution possible. Surely this would be a way to earn the favor of God.

A desperate man on a desperate journey, having devoted his life to the desperate pursuit of self-righteous asceticism and finding it wanting, went to Rome looking for answers. But all he found was spiritual bankruptcy.

After a lifetime of guilt, after years of struggling to make himself righteous, after working to please God on his own, and after a disheartening trip to Rome, Martin Luther finally came to understand the heart of the gospel message.[vi]  And by grace, through faith came to trust Jesus as Savior, and Jesus changed him! 

Jesus wants to do the same for you.  He wants you to live a simple life of faith.  Does he want you to deny yourself and take up your cross and follow Him?  Yes he does.  But Jesus is the one that transforms, not our efforts.  Trust Him!


[i] https://thriveworks.com/blog/dopamine-fasting-modern-asceticism/

[ii] https://thriveworks.com/blog/dopamine-fasting-modern-asceticism/

[iii] https://thriveworks.com/blog/dopamine-fasting-modern-asceticism/

[iv] https://thriveworks.com/blog/dopamine-fasting-modern-asceticism/

[v] https://worldlysaints.wordpress.com/2017/01/03/martin-luther-life-in-the-monastery-a-d-1505-1509/

[vi] https://blog.tms.edu/the-personal-reformation-of-martin-luther