Here’s to Friends!

How do you want to be remembered? When your time on earth has come to an end, what will the people who knew you best say about you when you’re gone?  It is not so much what you want people to say about you, as it is about what you want your life to amount to.  It is about what you value, what is important to you, and what really matters to God in the long run.  What impact am I making on my family, friends and my church? 

Faithful Friend 7-9

In a world without commitments, please be faithful! 

If you did not show up to serve Jesus, what would not happen? 

Tychicus name means “fortuitous.”  He’s dependable. 

Paul trusted him.  Are you trustworthy?

Onesimus means “useful.” 

Onesimus was a slave who became a Christian leader!  

God can change your legacy from useless to useful! 

Fellow Worker 10-11

Paul’s closest friends shared in the fellowship of his sufferings. 

Aristarchus name means “a leader among men.”

He was arrested and suffered right along with Paul. 

Mark, or John Mark, was given a second chance! 

He wrote the Gospel of Mark.  The deserter became a defender. 

Justus means “just.”  His given name was Jesus.

He believed in doing the right thing and stuck with it. 

Prayer Warrior 12-13

If you have a friend who prays for you, you are in a very good place. 

Ephapras name means lovely, and prayer is a beautiful thing. 

Epaphras wrestled in prayer for his friends. 

He had a wide vision for the Colossians, Laodiceans and Hierapolis. 

Genuine Friend 14

Luke was the beloved physician. 

He was an extraordinary researcher, historian and writer. 

His great works were the Gospel of Luke and the book of Acts. 

Demas is the only co-worker who doesn’t receive a commendation. 

In Philemon 1:24 he is called a fellow laborer. 

In Colossians, he is just Demas. 

2 Timothy 4:10 says, “Demas has forsaken me.” 

He was not a genuine friend!

Godly Leader 15-17

Nymphas held church in his house in Laodicea.

He is thought to be a well to do individual with a large house. 

It is an honor use your possessions in service of the Kingdom. 

Archippus was likely the pastor of the church in Colossae. 

According to Philemon the church met in his home. 

If God has given you a ministry to do, fulfill it! 

Now it is up to you what kind of legacy you are going to leave.  Will you be counted among Paul’s faithful friends?  Will you step up and be one of our fellow workers?  Will you be known as a prayer warrior?  Will you be a genuine friend to the end?  And will you become one of the leaders and contributors to the church.  When they write the names of the righteous and read them out in heaven, will Jesus bless your name out loud, and say, “well done, you good and faithful servant!  Enter into the joy of the Lord.”



How do you want to be remembered?

It’s a simple question that defies a simple answer. After you are dead and gone, when your time on earth has come to an end, When they talk about you, if they talk about you at all, what will the people who knew you best say about you when you’re gone?

It is not so much what you want people to say about you, as it is about what you want your life to amount to.  It is about what you value, what is important to you, and what really matters in the long run. 

The question is, what can you do today that will determine the legacy you want to leave behind.  In essence, choosing how you want to be remembered is really all about the small life choices you make every single day.  You might as well ask, what are people saying about me today?  What am I memorable for?  What impact am I making on my family, friends and my church? 

When Paul said his goodbyes to the Church at Colossae, he mentioned 10 men.  Tychicus, Onesimus, Aristarchus, Mark, Justus, Epaphrus, Luke, Demas, Nymphas and Archipus.  Each of these men were memorable to him because of what they contributed to the kingdom of God.  Even though most people today don’t even know who these guys are, each of them left a legacy that changed world history in ways that most of us can’t even see today.

The question I have for you is “How will you be remembered?”  Let me just suggest that if you want to leave your mark on this world, that you might want to imitate some of these guys.  We are going to review each of them, and find in their lives qualities we want to have in our own.

Here’s to the Beloved, faithful, hardworking servants among us.  May their tribe increase.  The first two guys were known as faithful men.  That’s a quality in short supply these days!

Faithful Friends

In a world without commitments, please be faithful!  If you want to be trusted, be trustworthy.  If you want your life to count, be someone that we can count on.  What do they say, 80% of success is just showing up!  If you don’t show up for work, nothing gets done.  If you don’t show up to your kids games, no one cheers.  And if you don’t show up to serve Jesus, nothing great happens.  Faithfulness is the building block of the kingdom of God. 

7 Tychicus, a beloved brother, faithful minister, and fellow servant in the Lord, will tell you all the news about me. 8 I am sending him to you for this very purpose, that he may know your circumstances and comfort your hearts, 9 with Onesimus, a faithful and beloved brother, who is one of you. They will make known to you all things which are happening here.

Tychicus name means “fortuitous.”  Anyone would be lucky to have a friend like Tychicus.  Tychicus is mentioned five times in the New Testament.  (Acts 20:4; Romans 15:25–26; Ephesians 6:21; Colossians 4:7–8; Titus 3:12).  Each time it’s the same thing.  He’s dependable.  He’s someone that Paul trusted to pass on important information and messages to the churches.  He’s called a beloved, faithful, fellow servant.  When he gave you his word, you could believe it.  That’s why Paul trusted him to pass on the news about himself, and why he trusted his judgment to find out what was going on at the church. 

Onesimus was another man who Paul called a faithful, beloved brother.  His name means useful.  Some people are useless, not Onesimus.  Onesimus had quite a story.  He was a slave at one point and fled from his master.  He encountered Paul while he was in prision.  Paul led him to the Lord and sent him back to his master, who he just happened to know!  In Philemon verse 11, Paul said, “Formerly he was useless to you, but now he has become useful both to you and to me.”  

Tradition has it that Philemon freed Onesimus.  And it must have happened about two years before Paul wrote the book of Colossians.  Because, now Onesimus is serving with Paul, and Paul calls him a faithful and beloved brother. 

Maybe you are like Onesimus.  You have messed up your life.  Your are essentially a runaway slave.  No matter what you’ve done, God can change your legacy and turn you into a faithful and beloved man or woman.  Thanks for your faithfulness. 

Those are the first two co workers.  They are faithfulThey are a comfort to Paul. 

Fellow Workers

The next three men are some of Paul’s closest friends.  They shared in the fellowship of his sufferings.  They suffered right along with him.  It’s when the going gets rough, that you discover who your real friends are.  If you know someone who is willing to stand up for you when no one else will, you are a very lucky person.  Real friends have your back.  They are there for you.  I think that’s what characterizes these next three:

10 Aristarchus my fellow prisoner greets you, with Mark the cousin of Barnabas (about whom you received instructions: if he comes to you, welcome him), 11 and Jesus who is called Justus. These are my only fellow workers for the kingdom of God who are of the circumcision; they have proved to be a comfort to me.

Aristarchus was a leader among men.  When Paul was imprisoned for his faith, Aristarchus was arrested as well and served time with him.  In the riot in Ephesus, in Acts 19:29, Aristarchus stood with Paul and was mobbed for it. 

Mark, or John Mark, was the cousin of Barnabas.  During Pauls first missionary journey John Mark had deserted him and returned home.  when Barnabas wanted to give him a second chance, Paul refused and the two of them went their separate ways.  Years later, however, Paul came to realize that Mark had grown up and he gave him a second chance, and here he is, serving once again with Paul. 

This was the John Mark who wrote the Gospel of Mark.  The deserter became a defender.  And that is what his name means.  “Defender of God.”

Justus is Paul’s third friend.  As with Aristarchus and Mark, he’s also Jewish.  His given name was Jesus, which in Hebrew would have been Joshua, meaning Jehovah Saves.  I’m guessing that he didn’t feel worthy to retain the name Yeshua, or Jesus, so they nicknamed him Justus, or “The Just.”  Someone who believed in doing the right thing and sticking with it.  That made him memorable. 

Paul said, “these three have proved to be a comfort to me.”  When you are all alone, and you have a few friends like Aristarchus, Mark or Justus, you find comfort in that!  That’s what you can be.  You can leave a lasting legacy for the kingdom of God by being an encouragement and a comfort to the people around you.  That’s a legacy worth leaving! 

The next gentleman is named Epaphras, and he is a prayer warrior.

Prayer Warriors

If you have a friend who prays for you, you are in a very good place.  That’s a great friend to have.  You need someone who will pray for you. 

12 Epaphras, who is one of you, a bondservant of Christ, greets you, always laboring fervently for you in prayers, that you may stand perfect and complete in all the will of God. 13 For I bear him witness that he has a great zeal for you, and those who are in Laodicea, and those in Hierapolis.

Ephapras name means lovely, and prayer is a beautiful thing.  You can’t get along without it.  In Colossians 1:6-7, it was Ephaphras who first shared the Gospel with the Colossians.  He was also imprisoned with Paul.  It says that Epaphras labored fervently, or wrestled in prayer for them.  He was vitally interested in their spiritual walk, and wanted them to have everything he had in Christ. 

People who pray are people who care.  And Ephaprus had a wide vision.  He took an interest in the Colossians, the people in Laodicea and those in Hierapolis.  These three burgeoning cities were only about 15 miles apart and had vital churches.  And Epaphras legacy was that he was a praying man.  He prayed strategically, that the gospel would grow and flourish in this metropolis.  We could use more men and women of prayer.

Genuine Friends

14 Luke the beloved physician and Demas greet you.

Luke was the beloved physician.  Be he was more than that.  He was an extraordinary researcher, historian and writer.  His great works were the Gospel of Luke and the book of Acts.  Both of them are extraordinary works.  His name means “light giver,” and his work sheds good light on the early church. He was a talented and bright man who could have made a name for himself, but instead chose to assist the Apostle Paul.  Paul’s life was certainly enriched by the people who chose to call him friend and co-worker. 

Demas is the only co-worker mentioned who doesn’t receive some special commendation from Paul.  It’s just Demas.  Demas gets three mentions in the Bible.  The first is in Philemon 1:24 where he is called a fellow laborer.  Then here in Colossians, where a few years later he is just Demas.  Did something happen?  Did his relationship with Paul become distant?  A few years later Paul would include Demas in a footnote in 2 Timothy 4:10.  It says, “Demas has forsaken me, having loved this present world.”  That’s his legacy.  And it is a legacy that has haunted him for a thousand years.  It is NOT what we want to be known for.  This is one legacy you want to avoid! 

You can be a Luke, who went on to do great things, or you can be a Demas who was never heard from again.  He went into obscurity with the reputation of a deserter. 

Church Leaders

We have two more men left in our message, Nymphas and Archippus.  Nymphas held church in his house in Laodicea, and Archippus was a leader in the church in Collossae. 

15 Greet the brethren who are in Laodicea, and Nymphas and the church that is in his house. 16 Now when this epistle is read among you, see that it is read also in the church of the Laodiceans, and that you likewise read the epistle from Laodicea. 17 And say to Archippus, “Take heed to the ministry which you have received in the Lord, that you may fulfill it.”

Laodicea was a well to do city and Nymphas is thought to be a well to do individual with a large house for accommodating a church meeting.  He used his house for the kingdom of God.  It is a privilege and an honor use your possessions in service of the Kingdom.  Some of you open your homes for Bible Study, youth group and other events.  You follow a good tradition.

Archippus was likely the pastor of the church in Colossae.  According to Philemon the church met in his home.  His role was an important one.  Paul reminded him that people were depending on him, and God was the one who had given him that ministry.  When God gives you a thing to do, you ought to make sure that you fulfill it to the best of your ability.  That will be your lasting legacy.

Verse 16 tells them to read this letter in the church in Laodicea.  It was a cyclical letter.  It was meant to be passed around.  It was meant to have a larger than life impact.  And today we still read it.  It’s not only read in Laodicea, but it has been read in Roseburg Oregon to you! 

Now it is up to you what kind of legacy you are going to leave.  Will you be counted among Paul’s faithful friends?  Will you step up and be one of our fellow workers?  Will you be known as a prayer warrior?  Will you be a genuine friend to the end?  And will you become one of the leaders and contributors to the church. 

When they write the names of the righteous and read them out in heaven, will Jesus bless your name out loud, and say, “well done, you good and faithful servant!  Enter into the joy of the Lord.”

We have just one last thing to say.  Verse 18:

18 This salutation by my own hand—Paul. Remember my chains. Grace be with you. Amen.

In 1540, the Great reformer, Martin Luther’s good friend and assistant, Friedrich Myconius became sick and was expected to die within a short time.  From his bed he wrote a tender farewell letter to Luther.

When Luther received the message, he immediately shot back a reply: “I command thee in the name of God to live because I still have need of thee in the work of reforming the church — the Lord will never let me hear that thou art dead, but will permit thee to survive me.  For this I am praying.”

“I command thee to live.”  What a prayer.  Luther needed that man!  Luther loved that man.  He was one of those precious partners in the ministry.  Will you be one?    

Sharing your faith when no one wants to listen

This is a great time to be a Christian! Not an easy time—but an exciting one. I know it doesn’t look that way. Spend a few minutes on the news and you’ll see just how lost and broken we are right now. And it’s a dangerous place to be a Christian: We’re now seen as intolerant and irrelevant. Even in this, God is calling us to be bold and strong. 

Live Wisely 5

To set yourself up for success in witnessing, live a godly life. 

“Walk” is code meaning to live your life in a way that is pleasing to God. 

When people observe your conduct can they see Jesus in you?

You should adopt a biblical philosophy of life.

When people go through difficulties they will seek you out.

Walk in a manner worthy of the God. 1 Thes 2:12; Eph 4:1

Live wisely because people are watching you! 

Make the most of every opportunity 5

You’ve got one chance at the moment what are you going to do with it? 

The answer is that you should seize the day.

We all have opportunities, It’s how we spend our time that counts.

To redeem the time is to use the opportunity for Jesus.

God drops divine appointments in your lap if you will look for them. 

One of the greatest ways to witness is to pray for people.

Be intentional: Look for opportunities to connect with people. 

Speak Graciously 6

We should preach the gospel with our woks and our words. 

Words have power to hurt and to heal; use them carefully. Prov 18:21

People don’t care what you know until they know that you care. 

We Christians are supposed to be lights in a dark world

#1.  Be Gracious.  Let your speech always be with grace. 

Your speech should bring grace, encouragement and joy.

#2.  Be Genuine.  Let your speech always be seasoned with salt. 

Salt makes good food taste great!  Mark 9:50 

We should bring a wonderful godly flavor to our conversations

Salt is a preservative that retards bacterial growth.  Matthew 5:13

We should bring biblical principles into that conversation. 

We can build others up and defend the faith In a gracious way. 

Always Be Prepared to Give an Answer 6

Living a godly and gracious life is the best foundation for the Gospel. 

When the opportunity arises we must be prepared.  1 Pet 3:15

If you have spent time with people they will let you know their objections.

That sets you up in a perfect place to give an answer. 

It’s okay to ask them if you can research and return with the answer.

if you know John 3:16, you know the Gospel.

Live wisely because people are watching.  Live intentionally, looking for every opportunity to connect.  Speak graciously and attractively.  Flavor your words with goodness.  And then answer thoughtfully.  This is how you share your faith successfully in a world that frowns people who share their faith.  If you follow these biblical principles for personal evangelism, you will surely see God use you in amazing ways.



This is a great time to be a Christian. Not an easy time—but an exciting one. I know it doesn’t look that way. Spend a few minutes on the news, and you’ll see just how lost and broken we are right now. Ours is a world full of contradiction and confusion. And it’s not a great place to be a Christian: We’re now seen by most of the world as intolerant and irrelevant.

Our culture is changing every day, leading to an endless list of new challenges and questions for the Church, but here’s the thing: God isn’t fazed by it. He’s not sitting back wondering how this “post-Christian” thing is going to play out. He’s still the same, and His plan hasn’t changed. I don’t know if you’ve checked your Bibles lately, but Matthew 16:16-19 tells us that nothing—not even the gates of hell—shall prevail against the mission and people of God.

And in a time so confusing, so transient, so difficult, God is calling us to be bold and strong—to have courage. He will accomplish His purposes. He will carry out His mission. And He is inviting us to join Him in making disciples of Jesus Christ among all tribes, tongues and nations despite the social climate. Though our world is changing, our purpose hasn’t. He has put us in this time and place with a purpose, and our world is as ripe as ever with opportunity to proclaim the good news of the Gospel. After all, it’s in the darkness, in the trenches, where the Church has always thrived the most.

So how are you doing at sharing your faith?  I’ll tell you how I’m doing.  I’m a little more tentative about conversations with strangers than I used to be.  I wonder how in the world am I ever going to reach the multitudes of homeless, the pro-abortion protestors on the corner, and the Gay Pride parade crowd.  And I’m a little gun shy about knocking on doors cold turkey.  You never know who you are going to meet.  It could be a new age witch or an angry atheist.  It’s not the way it used to be. 

Scripturally, it’s God’s plan to antagonize people with the Gospel.  We don’t cast our pearls before swine.  The Gospel is good news, not bad news.  It is the greatest news you’ve ever heard in your life!  It’s staggering!  The Gospel is like a cup of cold water in the sweltering heat of the desert!  It’s better than the cure for cancer!  It more exciting than winning the lottery!  It a greater treasure than anything this world has to offer. 

It gives me eternal life!  What could be better than the comfort, the hope, they joy and the happiness of a pain free, sorrow free, trouble free, and sin free eternity!  This is better than Ice Cream!  It’s better than winning the Super Bowl!  The rewards of eternity are so staggering, that if a man were but convinced of that, he’d be changed, transformed for life!  Nothing else could hold his attention because nothing even comes close to comparing to an eternity with Jesus.  Everything else seems dull in comparison.

We know this, and we believe it.  But the question is, how do you share your faith in a world that frowns upon people who share their faith?  Colossians 4:5-6, address that issue.  They are talking about sharing your faith when no one wants to listen.  How is that done?  I am going to give you four strategies that will do just that.  Today, we are going to tell you how to share your faith when no one wants to listen. 

Strategy #1

Live Wisely 5

The first thing you need to do is to set yourself up for success.  You won’t be successful at winning people to Jesus if your life is a mess, If you are living in misery; If you are floating in the cesspool, why would you want to invite someone else float along side of you?  So the first step of sharing your faith is to get your life right, get your joy back, and get you mojo on.  Listen to what verse 5 says;

Walk in wisdom toward those who are outside

Whenever the Bible tells you to “walk,” this is just a Christian term meaning to live your life in a way that is pleasing to God and an example to man.  The Christian walk is our godly conduct. 

The simplest way to share your faith is to live such a Christ-like way that people know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are a Christian. They observe your character, conduct and conversation and can easily see there is something very different about you.

The key here is to build relationships with people with such godly integrity that when people go through various difficulties they will naturally seek you out for comfort and advice giving you the opportunity to share your faith with them. This method of evangelism is often slow and takes quite a bit investment, time and patience. Paul said,

I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God is the one who made it grow. 1 Cor. 3:6

And the way you should conduct your affairs toward those that are outsiders is with wisdom.  sophia σοφίᾳ wisdom  – wisdom, insight, skill, thoughtfulness.  Sophia is the root of the English terms, “sophistication” and “philosophy.”  You should adopt a sophisticated philosophy of life that is so biblical that makes people say, “hey, I wish I had that!”  This is the best defense of the Christian against hostile accusations, and it is the best bait if you are a fisher of men.

1 Thessalonians 2:12 Walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory.

Ephesians 4:1 Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called. 

The first strategy is to live wisely and set a good example because people are watching you!  The second strategy is to:

Make the most of every opportunity 5

Are you aware that this opportunity, that we are sharing with each other this morning will only come around once in your lifetime?  Every moment of every day,  every chance meeting with a stranger, every family gathering, every event that you go to, is a once in a lifetime event that will never be replicated exactly the same way twice.  You’ve got one chance at the moment that you are in, what are you going to do with it? 

The answer is that you should seize the day, be present in the present, put down your cell phone, listen earnestly when people talk to you, and engage with them as though this were the last time you will ever see them.  Make every moment and every person feel that important.  It just could be your last, or their last.  How do you want it to go?  This is what verse 5 says;

Redeeming the time!

Just three words.  The last word is “time.”  We each have the same amount of time in a day.  24 hours.  We sleep for about 8 hours, work for about 8 hours, Spend about 1 hour eating, a few hours a day doing housework or shopping, 3 hours watching TV, an hour in recreation, and an hour in bathing and personal care. 

We do this every day.  Eat, sleep, clean the house, watch TV, take a bath and the cycle begins again.  We are spinning our lives in circles and sometimes it doesn’t seem like we are accomplishing much. 

And we are busy.  So busy in fact that often we don’t have time for the opportunities that come our way.  In fact sometimes those opportunities come at the least inopportune times! 

That’s where the word “redeeming” comes in.  Redeeming the time.  exagorazomenoi ἐξαγοραζόμενοι to pay the price, to ransom the captive, to rescue from loss.  In other words it is to make use of your opportunities in a different way than you are used to.  Instead of spinning in circles, we get off the merry go round of busyness and use the opportunities that come our way for Christ.

Now how do you find these opportunities.  I find that God drops them in my lap.  I call them divine appointments.  Believe me, you don’t want to miss a divine appointment.  Be obedient to God’s leading.

God has uniquely prepared you, but it’s up to you to Seize the moment.  I have found that one of the greatest ways is whenever someone tells you a story of sickness, or family problems, or financial problems, the best thing to say is, “You know, I’m glad you told me that. Would you mind if I prayed for you and asked God to answer this prayer?”

Most people, even those not interested in Jesus, are interested in divine intervention!  If there is a God, who doesn’t want the Big Guy on your side.  Most people are pleased to have you pray for them.  This is so easy, even a cave man can do it! 

And then you should ask them, “When God answers would you let me know, please?” And you know what? I have found again and again that the Lord answers and people come back to tell you. And that gives you an opportunity to tell them why you trust the promises of God, how you have seen answers to your prayers and eternal salvation through the Lord Jesus Christ.

The evangelist, Louis Palau says, I have never been turned down by anyone. Even the atheist president of Uruguay in South America said, “I don’t believe in God and I don’t believe in prayer, but if you want to pray for me, go ahead.” I prayed for him and his family and he was crying when I finished.[i]

Look for opportunities to connect with people.  Do good works.  Help people out.  Invite Them to Church.  Invite them to do stuff with you.  It often starts with hospitality.  The idea of hospitality is tied to loving and welcoming those who are considered strangers and outsiders. It’s about opening your life and your home to men and women who don’t think like you, look like you or act like you. That’s biblical hospitality.  And that opens the door to friendship and to Jesus. 

Make the most of every opportunity, use your time wisely, be intentional, and reflect His love to everyone around us.

The first strategy is to live wisely, the second to make use of every opportunity and the third is to:

Speak Graciously 6

The first strategy had to do with our deeds, and this one has to do with our words.  We should preach the gospel with the way that we live and express it graciously with our words. 

Words have power to hurt and heal; use them cautiously. Words are incredibly powerful. When people speak, many do not consider the impact their words have on other people. Proverbs 18:21 states that the power of Death and Life are in the tongue. Verse 6 says,

Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt,

The old saying is ever so true:  you can catch more flies with honey than you will with vinegar.  And the fact of the matter is that People don’t care what you know until they know that you care, and words are a powerful way to say, “I care.” 

There is so much conflict, strife and bad blood going around in our world.  Everywhere you turn, someone has a cut, a cuss word or a downer to lay on you.  There is too much confrontation and blame going around in our world.  We Christians are supposed to be little lights that shine in a dark world.  And one of the ways that we let our light shine is by the good news and encouragement that comes out of our lips!

There are two suggestions I have for you about improving your language skills.

#1.  Be Gracious.  Let your speech always be with grace.  This is the word chariti χάριτι grace – blessing, favor, or kindness. This is the Christians gold standard for his speech.  If your speech does not bring grace and joy to those who hear, you should probably retool your language skills.  If people don’t respond in appreciation to the words you say, it could be that you are using your words wrongly.  But if your words bring hope, delight, laughter and warmth, you are likely using your words the way God meant them to be used.  Practice speaking graciously.  It’s amazing how attractive that is.

#2.  Be Genuine.  Let your speech always be seasoned with salt.  Now what does that mean?  I am a salt loving guy.  Salt makes good food taste great!  And salt is a preservative.  Salt preserves pickles, cheeses and meat.  Salt reduces water content in food and retards bacterial growth. 

Our first contribution to conversations should bring out a better or godly flavor to those conversations, to build others up and make a good conversation great.  Our second contribution to conversation should be to bring godly preservation of biblical principles into that conversation.  So in a gracious way, we can build others up as well as defend the faith. 

Jesus called believers to be the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13).  Salt is an important mineral; it preserves food, brings out flavor, soothes and heals, and is necessary for life: it balances fluids in the blood and is vital for nerve and muscle function. 

Jesus said to his disciples, “Have salt among yourselves, and be at peace with each other” (Mark 9:50b).  Salt can sting when rubbed into a wound (Prov. 27:6).  Having an unwholesome, distasteful attitude is not becoming to the gospel of Christ; unsavory motives and attitudes do not produce words “seasoned with salt.”  We should bring a wonderful Christian “flavor” to what might otherwise be an unsavory conversation. What a Christian says and how he says it ought to add value to a conversation just as salt does for food.

Speak kindly.  Use your words carefully, and be a blessing to others.  And for our fourth principle.

Always Be Prepared to Give an Answer 6

We’ve come a long ways in this message.  We talked about living wisely, being intentional with your opportunities, and speaking graciously.  Those have all been pre-evangelism.  Now we get to the fourth truth, and it is this; at some point you have to pull the trigger.  At some point you need to share Jesus. 

It may take time working up to it with your genuine Christian living, and making use of as many opportunities as possible – getting to know them personally, and being as generous as you can with your compliments and gracious speech, but there will come a time when you get to share Jesus.  And this is it.  This is your opportunity.  We must listen carefully so we can answer appropriately.

That you may know how you ought to answer each one.

If you have spent time living a godly life, and if you have been intentional in getting to know people, and if your speech is gracious and good, then you have laid a great foundation for the Gospel.  And if you have spent time in conversation with these people, at some point they will probably let you know what their obstructions and objections to Christianity are.  That sets you up in a perfect place to give an answer. 

That’s why you must often lay the groundwork.  Verse 6 says “that you may know” how to answer.  If you don’t know their questions, you aren’t likely to be able to answer them. 

Don’t Pretend to have all the Answers.  It is very common for Christians to face very hard questions that challenge our beliefs. Questions like, “What about evolution?” or “What does God say homosexuality?” Sometimes, these questions can be very hard to answer, especially when you aren’t prepared beforehand. Don’t panic. It’s okay to tell your listener that you want to give an adequate answer to their question, so would them mind if you research and return with the answer. And then do your homework.

But sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts. And always be prepared to give a answer to everyone who asks you the reason for the hope that is in you with gentleness and respect.  1 Peter 3:15

Find Common Ground.  Know your audience as well as your material!  Listen and ask good question.  Be courageous.  Be tactful and clear.  And then share the life changing Gospel.  And what should you share.  Let me tell you, if you know John 3:16, you know the Gospel.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

That’s the Gospel, and any of you is smart enough to share it.  God loves you!  He loves you so much he sent Jesus to die for your sins.  All you need to do is believe in Jesus and entrust your life to him and you will have everlasting life!  You can do this! 

That’s the message we have for you.  Live wisely because people are watching.  Live intentionally, looking for every opportunity to connect.  Speak graciously and attractively.  Flavor your words with goodness.  And then answer thoughtfully.  And this is how you share your faith successfully in a world that frowns people who share their faith. 

In November of 1996, the news media covered the story of a hijacked jet with 163 passengers and 12 crew members that crashed near the Comoros Islands because it ran out of fuel. What we did not read or hear was a dramatic story of what God did in the final moments of that ill-fated flight. There was a man on board named Andrew Meekens, an elder in the International Evangelical Church of Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. He was on his way to a Bible conference. He was described as a reserved man, yet deeply committed in his faith. According to survivors of the crash, after the pilot announced that he would be attempting an emergency landing, Meekens, seizing the moment, stood up and quickly shared the gospel message with all on board, and invited people to respond. A surviving flight attendant said that about 20 people accepted Christ, including a fellow flight attendant who did not survive the crash.[ii]

While the opportunities God gives you to share your faith may not be as dramatic, they are just as significant to the Lord. If you follow these biblical principles for personal evangelism, like Philip from the early church, you will surely see God use you in amazing ways.


[i] https://www.palau.org/resources/share-your-faith/5-steps-to-sharing-your-faith

[ii] https://harvest.org/know-god-article/basic-principles-for-sharing-your-faith/

Life Changing Prayer

Did you know that I have preached nearly 50 sermons on prayer?  By now you’d think that I would have said everything there is to say about it.  Some of you have heard them all.  By now, you would think that we would be experts on prayer.  BUT, did you also know that you can know everything there is to know about prayer, but unless you pray, you really don’t know anything about prayer at all! Prayer must be experienced in order to be known.  You actually need to pray in order to learn how to pray! 

Three obstacles to prayer! 

  • Distractions
  • Busyness
  • Not knowing what to say

Your Personal Prayers 2

Praying for yourself is not selfish.

Prayer is most effective when we pray persistently. 

Continue means be devoted, constant in prayer or regular in prayer. 

Don’t stop praying.  Keep it up as your daily exercise. Luke 18

Be vigilant in prayer.  Guard your prayer life!

Pray as though your life depends on it, because it does!

When you pray with thanksgiving, prayer changes you!

Prayer fights stress and brings health.

Prayer brings inner peace and joy. 

Your Missional Prayers 3-4

Prayer is most effective when we pray for the mission of the kingdom.

Pray for the troubled world that they would find Jesus. 

This is a prayer for anyone who shares the good news of the Gospel. 

Pray for an open door for the Word. 

We should always look for opportunities to share our faith. 

When God opens doors he provides a divine appointment.

Pray that you will have the words to speak! 

We need to know what to say. 

We also need boldness to speak up.  Ephesians 6:19

Sharing the good news got Paul in trouble. 

If you are going to get in trouble do it for the Gospel. 

We want to shove it down their throat! 

We don’t want to cast our pearls before swine. 

Paul wanted people to understand the message. 

Speak in terms people can understand.

If they don’t understand they can’t respond to the message. 

Pray for open doors.  Pray for the message to get out, and pray for clarity.  Above all things, pray persistently and consistently.  And pray for the Mission.  Don’t just pray for it, do it!  Share your faith.  And notice making it clear is the way we ought to speak.  If they don’t understand, it’s up to us to simplify and clarify the message, because getting it right may mean the difference between eternal life and being lost! 



2 Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving;

3 meanwhile praying also for us, that God would open to us a door for the word, to speak the mystery of Christ, for which I am also in chains, 4 that I may make it manifest, as I ought to speak.

Did you know that I have preached nearly 50 sermons on prayer?  By now you’d think that I would have said everything there is to say about it.  Some of you have heard them all.  By now, you would think that we would be experts on prayer.  BUT, did you also know that you can know everything there is to know about prayer, but unless you pray, you really don’t know anything about prayer at all!

Prayer is not something you just learn about from a lecture, you must regularly practice it in order to know prayer.  Prayer must be experienced in order to be known.  You actually need to pray in order to learn how to pray! 

How is your prayer life?

Now, most Americans pray.  It is the most common faith practice among American adults.  According to Barna, 94% of American adults have prayed at least once in the last three months. [i]  (That’s not really a good track record.  Praying once every three months just doesn’t cut it).  And about 68% of those who claim to be Christians say they pray daily. [ii][iii][iv]  Another 17% pray weekly.  The other 15% don’t pray much at all.[v]

But here’s the kicker.  Only 2% of people surveyed would say they’re satisfied with their overall prayer lives.[vi]  Maybe that’s why most (60%) Christians say that they have not spent 10 minutes in prayer in the last 24 hours. [vii] [viii] That’s no good.  We are out to change that today.

If you feel discouraged in this area, you’re not alone!  According to Crossway pubishers the three greatest barriers to prayer are distractions (57%), busyness (15%) and not knowing what to say (13%).  (The fourth problem was motivation.  15% just weren’t interested in prayer at all.)  [ix]

Take a minute to assess your own prayer life, considering particular areas where there is room for growth.   Do you get distracted easily?  Maybe plan to pray at a time when there are less distractions.  Put your phone down.  Find a quiet and peaceful place.  Pray about your distractions.

Are you too busy?  If you don’t have time to pray, maybe you are doing too much.  Maybe you need to simplify your life, or maybe you just need to prioritize your life.  Sometimes the things we think are important are not as important as they seem.

Do you struggle knowing what to pray?  Depend a little more on the Holy Spirit.  He promises to help you there.  (Romans 8:26)  Start praying Scripture.  Pray the psalms, or use Paul’s prayers like this one in Colossians as a way to guide you in prayer. 

Prayer is life changing.  And this is not only a life changing guide to prayer, it is a world changing prayer.  Let’s start with your personal life.

Your Personal Prayers 22

A good place to start in prayer is to pray for your own self and your personal needs.  Now praying for yourself, may seem selfish, and it could be; but for the most part, it is not.  You need to pray for yourself!  Your own heart needs self examination.  You have a lot of needs, and there is no one better than God to talk to them about.  You can ask God to forgive your sins, to fill you with the Holy Spirit, to restore your soul, to give you wisdom, to protect your mind, to keep Satan away, and the list goes on.

But let me just say prayer is most effective when we pray persistently.  That is what Paul is telling us in Colossians 4:22:

Continue persistently in prayer. Col 4:22

Continue in prayer; The word continue is προσκαρτερέω pros kartereo – And it is a word which means be devoted or constant in prayer or regular in prayer.  Persevere in it and don’t give up.  In other words, don’t stop praying.  Keep it up as your daily exercise.

Jesus told a parable of a widow and the unjust judge in Luke 18.  The widow filed a complaint with the court system.  She had likely been swindled by a wealthy businessman who took advantage of her, But the Judge refused to hear her.  He dismissed the case.  But the woman decided that her only course of action was to show up in court every day!  She was so persistent, that the unjust judge finally heard her case and ruled in her favor.

If persistence works with an unjust judge, how much more effective do you think it work with a God who loves us.  “Hey this is Dennis, checking in again, on the status of that prayer!”  “Hey Dennis, this is God.  I’ve got this.  At the right time, in the right way, the answer will come!”  Keep praying.  Continue in prayer.

“Continue persistently in prayer, being vigilant in it.”  Col 4:22

Be vigilant in prayer.  γρηγορεύω gregoreuo – to watch carefully.  to take heed lest some calamity suddenly overtake your life.  We are told to be vigilant

  • Because we don’t know when the day nor the hour when Lord will come. Mt 25:15 
  • Because that’s what it takes to overcome temptation: Mt 26:41 
  • Because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, stalks about, seeking whom he may devour:  1Pe 5:8 

Prayer prepares us for Christ’s coming.  It is the antidote to temptation.  It is the hedge of protection from our enemy the Devil.  You should pray as though your life depends on it, because it does!

“Continue persistently in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving.”  Col 4:22

Did you know that studies have shown that when you pray, especially when you practice thankfulness, the first thing that prayer changes is you!

Herb Benson, the renowned author of the prayer study at Harvard, said “prayer affects metabolism, heart rate, blood pressure, breathing rate and brain activity” increases your oxygen level.[x]  he concluded “that prayer affects body functions and fights stress.”

But prayer does much more than that!  When coupled with thankfulness, Prayer brings peace, it resolves our inner conflicts, and changes our outlook, when we submit to the will of God.  The primary impact of prayer involves the person doing the praying.  Give prayer a chance!  And be thankful. 

So let’s review.  Pray persistently.  Pray like your life depends on it, and pray with thanksgiving.  That’s how to pray for yourself.

But we are not finished with prayer yet, because not only should we pray for ourselves, but we should pray for our world.  I have called this:

Your Missional Prayers

You may start with yourself, but you should end with the world around you.  And the best way to pray for our troubled world is to pray that they would find Jesus.  Prayer is most effective when we pray for the mission.

Pray also for us, that God would open to us a door for the word, to speak the mystery of Christ. Colossians 4:3

Paul asked the Colossians to pray for him, as I wish that you would pray for me.  This is a prayer for pastors, missionaries and anyone who shares the good news of the Gospel.  This is a prayer for the mission of the Kingdom of God. 

And the first request is for an open door for the Word.  Paul was always looking for opportunities to share his faith.  He prayed for open doors.  Relationships are a lot like doors, and we are the gate keepers of our own doors.  If you want to share the gospel, you have to knock.  Jesus said, “Ask and it shall be given to you, seek and you shall find, knock and it will be opened to you.” 

Some people will stare out of the little peephole and say, “go away!”  But some will open the door and invite your conversation!  Open doors are divine appointments.  When God opens doors he enables you to have a conversation about spiritual things.  Pray for divine appointments.

Pray also for us, that we would speak the mystery of Christ. Colossians 4:3

Paul’s second request is that God would give him the words to speak!  It’s one thing to get an audience with someone, it’s another thing to know what to say.  Even Paul needed prayer for boldness. 

In Ephesians 6:19 Paul asked, “Pray for me that I might open my mouth without fear. Pray that I will use the right words to preach the Good News.” 

This is a prayer you can pray for our missionaries.  And it’s a prayer you can pray for yourself.  I don’t know how many times I wished I had the right words to say!  I don’t know how many times I wished I had spoken up!  It’s much easier to talk about politics, sports, the weather and the accident that happened down the road, than it is to talk about Jesus!  Pray for me that God would give me the right words to unveil the mystery of the gospel to people who don’t understand it. 

And no wonder Paul needed boldness.  Because in the next breath he shares with us his predicament.  He says, “for which I am also in chains!”  Paul was in prison because of the Gospel!  Sharing the good news got him in trouble. 

There are a lot of things you can get in trouble for, but if you are going to get in trouble for anything, may it be because you love Jesus and want people to hear the message of the Gospel.  Not that we want to shove it down their throat!  That’s not it.  If the door closes, we go knocking on other doors.  Not that we are looking to pick a fight over abortion or some other moral issue.  That’s not our way of doing things.  Certainly we take a strong moral stand, but we don’t want to cast our pearls before swine.  Our job is not to judge or condemn unbelievers, that’s God’s job.  Our goal is to seek and to save those who are lost. 

And that leads us to our third prayer for the mission. 

Pray that I may make it clear, as I ought to speak. Colossians 4:4

φανερόω phaneroo to make visible or known, to be thoroughly understood

Paul didn’t just want to string together a bunch of words that people don’t understand like, have you received the gospel?  are you saved, sanctified, delivered, justified, washed in the blood and filled  with the Holy Spirit

These are precious terms!  They mean something very important to us inside the church, but outside the church, they don’t understand our terminology.  So you have to keep is simple and explain it in terms they can understand.

If all your friends don’t understand when you share about redemption, that you’ve been washed white as snow and you desire to follow the Lamb.  If they tune you right out, you may be on fire for the Lord, but you’ve left them clueless. 

This is so important that Paul prayed a prayer for clarity!  Make it clear Paul!  So that they can understand and respond to the message.  And notice making it clear is the way we ought to speak.  If they don’t understand, it’s up to us to simplify and clarify the message, because getting it right may mean the difference between eternal life and being lost! 

Pray for open doors.  Pray for the message to get out, and Pray for clarity.  Above all things, pray persistently and consistently. 

In 1940, a professor of Theology in England by the name J. Edwin Orr called some of his theology students together, and decided to take them on an excursion, a field trip so to speak.

They were to visit some of the historical places in England, which has some sorts of theological significant; some religious sites, and places which had been very strategic in building of the church, and the Christian Faith.

One of the places they visited was the Epworth rectory.  The rectory which now serves as a museum, was the home of one of the great reformers of the church, his name was John Wesley.

John Wesley was a great preacher.  He studied, preached, taught, and prayed that revival would spread out, not only in England, but also in our country.  In prayer, He and others like him ushered in some of the great revivals that swept through America in the early 1900s, where people in mass were coming to know Jesus Christ as their Lord.  This happened because men like John Wesley were on their knees praying that God would move.

So the theology students went to visit the house where he lived.  They entered the kitchen, and professor Orr showed them all that John Wesley would have eaten as dinner, lunch, and what he would have cooked – how he would have lived his life.  He took them into the study room, where John Wesley spent hours studying. 

Then Professor Orr walked the students up to the second floor.  They entered into a place where would have been the most intimate quarters of John Wesley – his bedroom.  As the students began to file around the bed in the tiny space in that bedroom, one of them noticed around the far side of the bed, there were two small worn patches in the carpet fibers of the floor right next to each other.

Professor Orr explained that those two patches were the very place where every single morning – for several hours, John Wesley will plant his knees right beside his bed, and he prayed so long and so hard for revival, that his knees had actually imprinted themselves onto the floor.

After some minutes, the students left the room for the bus outside.  Professor Orr stood in front of the bus, counting the students as they enter the bus, to make sure everybody was there, and he realized one was missing.

He went back into the house, walked into the kitchen to look for the student – nobody was there.  He checked the study room for the student – nobody was there.  He walked up the stairs into the bedroom, and he could just see across the other side of the bed – the head and shoulders of a student who had planted his knees down in those well worn patches on the floor.

He could hear the student praying “Do it again LORD. LORD, would YOU do it again! And would YOU do it again with me…”

Professor Orr walked around to the side of the bed, and placed his hand on the shoulder of the student, and he said “It’s time to go…”

And rising from his knees, BILLY GRAHAM went to join the rest of the students on the bus that day. 

And then, GOD did it again…  All because someone prayed!


[i] https://www.barna.com/research/silent-solo-americans-pray/

[ii] https://www.deseret.com/faith/2023/5/4/23709607/national-day-of-prayer-research-americans-divine-connection

[iii] https://churchleaders.com/pastors/pastor-articles/150915-u-s-statistics-on-prayer.html

[iv] https://churchleaders.com/pastors/pastor-articles/150915-u-s-statistics-on-prayer.html Of those who do pray, 75% percent were Christian.  • 64% say they pray more than once a day. • 56% say they most often pray for family members, with 3.3% saying that they pray for strangers. • A little over 38% say that the most important purpose of prayer is intimacy with God. • 41% say that their prayers are answered often. •only 1.5% say that their prayers are never answered.  According to Pew Research 68% of Christians pray daily, and another 17% pray weekly. 

[v] https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/religious-landscape-study/christians/christian/frequency-of-prayer/

[vi] https://www.crossway.org/articles/infographic-how-is-your-prayer-life/

[vii] https://www.crossway.org/articles/infographic-how-is-your-prayer-life/

[viii] https://www.baptistboard.com/threads/how-long-do-you-spend-in-prayer.5612/ According to Barna…. the average Christian spends only 1 minute a day in prayer.

[ix] https://www.crossway.org/articles/infographic-how-is-your-prayer-life/

[x] https://www.templeton.org/news/what-can-science-say-about-the-study-of-prayer

The Bible And Slavery

Most of us have an extremely difficult time believing that churches or Christian denominations could actually promote slavery, racism or segregation.  But they did! And this leads us to the accusation some skeptics make that the Bible promotes slavery!  So, does the Bible endorse slavery? 

δοῦλος doulos / עבד ‘ ebed

δοῦλος doulos, covers an extremely broad spectrum.

#1 Slave – This person served involuntarily.  He was considered property. 

#2 Serf was a was a laborer who was paid and housed by his master.  

#3 Servant was similar to an employee, who was paid for his services.

Hebrew and Roman Slaves

The Bible defines servitude differently than we might define it today. 

Most slaves in ancient Israel were Hebrew servants. Lev 25:39

Debtor Slaves were only supposed to work for six years. Ex 21:2–4

Few foreign slaves were bought, but they also were debtors. Ex 21:16

Slavery was abolished at the Babylonian Captivity. Jer 34:9-10

In the New Testament, Slavery was regulated by Rome. 

The church lived within the law & challenged slavery from the bottom. 

Slaves flocked to Christianity in droves because it gave them hope! 

The Old Testament on Slavery

Slave Traders received the death penalty – Ex 21:16

Return of fugitive slaves was illegal – Deut 23:15–16

Most or all “slaves” were debtors – Lev 25:39

Debtors were released after a term – Ex 21:1-3

The greatest release of slaves was the Exodus in chapter 14

God is not an enslaver; he is the one who freed the slaves!    

The New Testament on Slavery

Slave and free are considered equal – Gal 3:28

Slave traders are considered lawbreakers – 1 Tim 1:10

Slaves are encouraged to be set free – 1 Cor 7:21

Jesus preached liberty to captives – Lk 4:18-21

Christians are to stand fast in liberty – Gal 5:1

Does the Bible Endorse Slavery?

Slavery was regulated by the Bible, not endorsed.

The Bible inhibits slavery from cover to cover

OT Slaves were more like a hired servant than slave

The New Testament never tolerates slavery.

Service to Men 22

Serve sincerely because you are an example. 

The exception to obedience is if their directive violates the Word of God. 

Do the job when no one’s watching

Do the job because God is watching

Service to God 23-24

The Christian work ethic means we work for the Lord! 

When we get to heaven, we will receive an eternal reward. 

If you minimize eternal rewards, you severely underestimate their value. 

Leading Men 4:1

A leader should lead like a servant because God is watching. 

The Christian leader should be firm, but fair.   

The Christian leaders should treat people “equitably.”    

Like the servant, we are all accountable to God.  God is the ultimate master.  We are the ultimate example of servants.  We love the term servant.  Christianity elevated the term servant to a place of power!  We are servants of Christ!  This is the number one rule of leadership!  Leaders serve, and all other Christians do to!  Lord help me to be the servant that you can be pleased with! 



In 1845 The denomination of Northern Baptists ruled that men who owned slaves were no longer permitted to serve as missionaries, and slaveholding Baptists decided to form their own group in protest.  The Southern Baptist Convention was founded to safeguard the institution of slavery.  Founders of the new organization claimed that, according to the Bible, slavery was “an institution of heaven.” They pushed the idea that Black people were descended from the Biblical figure Ham, Noah’s cursed son, and that their subjugation was therefore divinely ordained. They almost called themselves the ‘Confederate Baptist Convention,’[i]

The S.B.C. has a long and painful history around race, and even though they have worked at reconciliation, their history still haunts them today.  Those of us who are west coasties or Northerners, have an extremely difficult time believing that churches or Christian denominations  could actually promote slavery, racism or segregation.  But they did!

And this leads us to the accusation which you may have heard leveled at Christians; some skeptics make the accusation that the Bible is racist, and that it promotes slavery!  So, that’s the difficult question we are going to tackle today:  Does the Bible endorse slavery. 

δοῦλος doulos / עבד ‘ ebed

The first word in verse 22 of Colossians 3 in the New King James is “bondservants.”  Other translations render this word SERVANTS, or SLAVES.  The Greek word here is δοῦλος doulos, meaning  a slave, serf, subservient, servant, or attendant.  In the Hebrew, the word for slave is עבד ‘ ebed, and it means essentially the same thing. 

These two terms, one for the Old Testament, and the other for the New Testament describe and define slavery in the Bible.  Similar words, similar concepts. 

But please know this, the word doulos covers an extremely broad spectrum, all the way from a bondman to a freeman.  All the way from involuntary servitude to voluntary labor.  Let’s look at three types of individuals who could be called doulos, or servants.

#1 Slave – This person served involuntarily.  He was bought and sold and put to forced labor.  He was considered the property of his master, and most slaves were unpaid. 

But, wait, there is a second set of servants that had a little more freedom.  For sake of understanding, I’ll call them “serfs,”  though that word is nowhere used in the Bible, it is certainly described there. 

#2 Serf was a servant.  He was  laborer who was paid a wage, and housed by his master.  But he too could be bought and sold.

#3 Servant – This word also describes a servant who was paid a wage, They got time off for the Sabbath, and sometimes had other benefits. And they might have their own place of lodging.  This group of servants was more like a modern employee, rather than a slave.

The only groups of people not defined by the word Doulos are the self employed, the employer, or the slave owner.  For those of us today who work for someone else, we are doulos.  We are paid to serve others. 

Hebrew and Roman Slaves

The Bible defines servitude differently than we might define it today.  In the Old Testament, God gave rules on how to regulate slavery.  There were basically two kinds of slaves that were held by the Hebrews. 

Most slaves in ancient Israel were Hebrew – thus by definition, they were servants.  They were not allowed to enslave fellow Hebrews.  “’If any of your fellow Israelites become poor and sell themselves to you, do not make them serve as slaves.” Leviticus 25:39

Debtor servants/slaves were only supposed to perform for a specific term, and they had to be paid for their service.  That was how they paid their debts.  All servants/slaves were only to serve a maximum of 7 years.  “When you buy a Hebrew slave, he shall serve six years, but in the seventh he shall go out a free person, without debt.”  Exodus 21:2–4

There were foreign slaves, but they were a minority, and to be clear, foreigners were also debtor slaves who chose to sell themselves to pay off debt.  Slaving was illegal.  Exodus 21:16

Slavery was abolished by the Babylonian Captivity.  Jeremiah 34:9 called for an immediate release of all Hebrew slaves, without regard to how long they had been enrolled. And more dramatically, it provided that “No one should hold another Judean in slavery…. so that they would not be enslaved again” (Jer. 34:9-10). In other words, it was the abolition of slavery

When we come to the New Testament, Slavery was not regulated by Israel, but by Rome.  The church had to live within the law.  It is very interesting and instructive that instead of leading slave revolts, Christians worked from the bottom up to free slaves.  Slaves flocked to Christianity in droves because it gave them hope of spiritual equality and an eternal status in Jesus Christ! 

The Old Testament on Slavery

Let’s quickly look at slavery in the Old Testament.  And you tell me whether you think that these verses endorse slavery or work against it!

Slave Traders received the death penalty – Ex 21:16 “He who kidnaps someone and sells him, or if he is found in his hand, shall surely be put to death.”

Return of fugitive slaves was illegal – Deut 23:15–16 “You shall not give back to his master the slave who has escaped from his master to you. 16 He may dwell with you in your midst, in the place which he chooses within one of your gates, where it seems best to him!” 

Most or all “slaves” were debtors – Lev 25:39 “if one of you becomes poor, and sells himself to you, you shall not compel him to serve as a slave.”  The slavery introduced here was never meant to be. God promises in Deuteronomy 15:4 But there will be no poor among you; for the LORD will bless you in the land that the LORD your God is giving you for an inheritance to possess— 5 if only you will strictly obey the voice of the LORD 7 “If among you, one of your brothers should become poor… you shall open your hand to him and lend him sufficient for his need, whatever it may be.

Debtors were released after a term – Ex 21:1-3 If you buy a Hebrew servant, he shall serve six years; and in the seventh he shall go out free and pay nothing.”

The greatest release of slaves was the Exodus as related in chapter 14.  God is not an enslaver, he is the one who released the slaves!  That’s one of the big stories of the Old Testament! 

The New Testament on Slavery

The New Testament not only does not endorse slavery, but the majority of references set the stage for the demise of slavery in the western world. 

Slave and free considered equal – Gal 3:28 “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

Slavers are considered lawbreakers – 1 Tim 1:10 knowing this: that the law is not made for a righteous person, but for the lawless and insubordinate, for the ungodly and for sinners… for murderers… 10 for fornicators, for sodomites, for kidnappers (menstealers)… and if there is any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine

Slaves are encouraged to be set free – 1 Cor 7:21 “Were you called to Christ while a slave? Do not be concerned about it; but if you can be made free, do it!”

Jesus preached liberty to captives – Lk 4:18-21 “The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, Because He has anointed Me To preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives!”

Christians are to stand fast in liberty – Gal 5:1 Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage.

Does the Bible Endorse Slavery?

Slavery was regulated by the Bible, not endorsed, any more than the Bible endorses polygamy.

The Bible inhibits slavery from cover to cover

OT Slaves were more like a hired servant than slave

The New Testament never tolerates slavery and its principles demand slavery’s demise.

Service to Men

So let’s get into it!  In order to be a good servant, attendant or employee you need to render your best service to those in charge because you are an example of what a Christian should be! 

Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh, not with eye service, as men-pleasers, but in sincerity of heart, fearing God

The point is that you should serve sincerely! 

The Bible says to obey in all things.  It says the same thing about women submitting to their husbands, and children obeying their parents.  But there is one, often unspoken, yet understood exception to this rule.  Do it as long as it doesn’t violate either the will of God or the law of the land. 

You don’t have to be a genius to figure this out.  Children are to obey, as unto the Lord.  Wives are to submit as unto the Lord.  And lawbreaking is prohibited for Christians.  But if there is anything else your boss asks of you, if it is ethical, legal, and moral, just do it.  You don’t have to agree with him.  You don’t have to like his methods.  Perhaps there is a better, faster, smarter way to do it.  It doesn’t matter.  You can suggest it, but if you’re asked to do the job, do the job you were asked to do. 

And do the job even when no one is watching.  Not with eye service, but in sincerity.  Other people may slack off, but that person is not you.  You set the example of what It means to be a Christian worker. 

Because, after all, God is watching.  That’s what it means to fear God.  It means that you have reached the place in your life that you have an awareness of God at all times.  Since Christ is in you.  Since the Holy Spirit indwells you.  Since the Father is with you.  Do the job well.

Service to God

But that’s not all!  We don’t do a good job to make brownie points.  We don’t do a good job to just to move up the ladder.  We don’t even do a good job so we can get a raise.  We do the best job we can to in order to please Jesus. 

23 And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.

One of the characteristics of a Christian work ethic is that we expect our people to work heartily.  This literally means that your work should come from your heart!  In other words put a little bit of love into your job!  If you cook, cook with love!  If you stock shelves, stock them with love, if you work with people, love them!  If you push paper, push it with most love you can muster! 

Because we are doing it for the Lord!  That is the true Christian ethic.  I can tell if you have Christianized your job or not, if I can just find out who your real boss is!  If you do everything for Jesus, that’s what it’s all about. 

And may I say at this point that some of you envy full time Christian workers like pastors and missionaries who get to serve God all day long.  I have a news flash for you!  You also serve God full time!  No matter your job, you should do it for Jesus! 

And when you get to heaven, you will receive an eternal reward.  Now I have mentioned the topic of rewards to numerous people over the years and have often gotten a puzzling response.  “I don’t care about eternal rewards, heaven is enough for me!”

Let me tell you, if you don’t care about eternal rewards, you have severely underestimated their value.  It would be a mistake of colossal proportions to ignore eternal rewards!  It would be like working without a expecting a paycheck.  It would be like making payments on your car and never driving it.  It would be like getting married and living separate lives in separate homes.  It would be like having family, but never getting to see them!

Whatever your eternal rewards turn out to be, you want to invest in them, and that means you want to serve Jesus whole heartedly!  And look!  God is so good that he even gives eternal rewards for doing your secular job well!  Work hard for Jesus! 

Leading Men

And finally we get to the boss man.  How should you as a leader lead.  You should lead fairly, honestly, leading the best that you can, as a servant, because God is watching. 

Masters, give your bondservants what is just and fair, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.

The Christian boss should be honest and fair!  Don’t show partiality.  Don’t play favorites.  Do right by your people!  That’s what “just” means.  It means to do right as much as you are able.  You owe it to those you serve to do your best.

You should also be firm, but fair.  This is a word that means “equitable.”  It means that you give everyone the chance they deserve, that you do your best to see that they have the information, tools and training they need to do the job. 

Why?  Because like the servant, we are accountable to God.  God is the ultimate master.  We are the ultimate example of servants.  We love the term servant.  Christianity elevated the term servant!  We are servants of Christ!  But there is one warning to both servant and master found in verse 25:

He who does wrong will be repaid for what he has done, and there is no partiality.

We are told that there will be blessing if we are good servants, and good bosses!  But there is also a penalty for the slacker, for the lazy man or woman, for the disobedient, the cruel, the harsh, and the unruly servant. 

God is the master, and we are the servant!  This is the number one rule of leadership!  Leaders serve, and all other Christians do to!  Lord help me to be the servant that you can be pleased with! 


[i] https://www.newyorker.com/news/on-religion/the-fight-for-the-heart-of-the-southern-baptist-convention#:~:text=The%20Southern%20Baptist%20Convention%20was,their%20own%20group%20in%20protest.

The surprising secrets of highly happy marriages

Every single day in June about 13,000 American couples will say “I do,” but for many of them it just doesn’t work out.  Every relationship will face tumultuous times.  Through the bad times, enquiring minds want to know, what will make my marriage work?  Today I’m going to share four simple, yet surprising truths about how to have a successful family. 

Christians who attend church have a 25-50% lower divorce rate.

Following biblical principles always makes marriage better.

What Loving Wives do to Contribute to a Happy Family 18

Godly wives submit to their husbands. 

Sweet submission is one of the incredible secrets of a happy marriage. 

Submission is showing loving support and genuine respect for the husband.

It is “a voluntary attitude of putting others first. 

Submission is the key to marital harmony. 

Everyone needs someone to cheer them on.  We need more encouragers. 

What Loving Husbands do to Contribute to a Happy Family 19

Godly husbands demonstrate the attitude of a loving servant.

A loving husband will show honor and respect to his wife. 

Self Sacrifice is at the core of our relationship with God. 

Love is about loving like Jesus loved! 

Bitterness can destroy your attitude and ruin your marriage. 

We become bitter when other people don’t meet our expectations!

God never meant for you to force other people to obey.  That’s not your job. 

What Loving Children do to Contribute to a Happy Family 20

Children who love Jesus will want to obey their parents. 

Children should learn to obey their parents in all things.

Rebellion brings chaos into a family.

Obedience brings harmony and joy into a family. 

What Loving Fathers do to Contribute to a Happy Family 21

Godly fathers encourage their children.

Is your fathering resulting in frustration or harmony?

Too much teasing becomes exasperating to children. 

Father’s discourage their children through anger and injustice. 

Fathers have an incredible, powerful influence on their children. 

Listen, this is not rocket science.  These principles are not new but they are true.  They have been around for thousands of years, and they are just as true today as when the ink dried on the page.  It’s all about your attitude and behavior.  If you want to change your family, you must change your attitude.  Don’t be selfish, be submissive!  Don’t be self centered, be considerate and loving!   Don’t demand your own way, be obedient.  Don’t be a frustration, be an encourager.  The surprising secrets are out; People who apply biblical principles are more likely to have a happy marriage. 



Every single day in June, the most popular wedding month of the year, about 13,000 American couples will say “I do,” committing to a lifelong relationship that they hope will be full of friendship, joy, and love that will carry them to their final days on this earth; except, of course, it doesn’t work out that way for some of them.[i]

I have performed nearly a hundred weddings in the last 30 or 40 years.  Some of them made it, and some of them did not.  Some of the couples that I thought would succeed, did not.  And some of the ones that I was betting against, surprisingly are still married. 

Every relationship will face tumultuous times.  Yours will.  Finances will be depleted, tragedy will strike, people will change, children will rebel, spouses will say and do damaging things, and troubles will come cascading into the family like a deluge during a winter storm in Oregon. 

Through all these things, enquiring minds want to know, what will make my marriage work?

If you have been with me, for any period of time, you have probably heard a message or two on the family.  I have preached nearly 100 messages on the family and have written a book on it called “God Strong Families.”

So you are not likely to hear much of anything new that I haven’t already said, but you are likely to hear everything true from God’s Word.  Not new, but true.  Truth this good deserves to be repeated.  And today I’m going to share four simple, yet surprising truths about how to have a successful family.  I’m going to share with you what love really looks like.

Let me just start with something new.  Do you know all those studies we’ve heard about that claim that over 50% of all marriages fail,  And that the divorce rate in the church is just as bad as the divorce rate outside the church?  It turns out there is a new book out that claims that those are just myths that have been perpetuated on the American public. 

In their book, The Good News about Marriage: Debunking Discouraging Myths about Marriage and Divorce, authors Shaunti Feldhahn and Tally Whitehead share the following: [ii]

Contrary to what is commonly suggested, the actual divorce rate has never been close to 50%.  Instead almost 75% of people are still married to their first spouse, and some of those who aren’t have experienced the death of a spouse, not divorce.  [iii]

And then there is this conclusion:  Despite what you’ve been told, the divorce rate in the church is not the same as outside the church.  In fact church attendees have a 25-50% lower divorce rate. [iv]

Now why is that?  It is because people who go to church are more likely to know the surprising secrets of a happy marriage.  It turns out that following a few essential biblical principles creates winning attitudes and behaviors in God’s people.  And as you may have heard “Attitude is everything.”  Or at least it is one of the really important things.

Your attitude is a significant predictor of your success in marriage. A positive attitude can help you overcome obstacles and develop resilience and bounce back from setbacks.  Attitude is more important than talent, more significant than your IQ, more essential then looks, athleticism, business sense, and most any other category.  Attitude is the engine that drives our responses and how we relate to other people.

So today, what I want to do is look at four important marriage truths and see how they impact our attitudes and behaviors in the most positive ways.  Let’s do a quick survey of them.

Here is what loving wives do to contribute to a happy family

Are you ready for this surprising truth?  Godly wives submit to their husbands.  Sweet submission is one of the incredible secrets of a happy marriage.  Never underestimate the power of a wife’s loving support and genuine respect for her husband.   That’s what submission is.  It is what will make your marriage one of the best in the world. 

18 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Just what is submission?  It comes from the Greek word is hoopo-tasso, and it is “a voluntary attitude of putting others first, of cooperating, and sharing their burdens.”  It is respect for others opinions.  It is demonstrating genuine enthusiasm and appreciation for the work that other people put in.  It is being supportive.  Submission is the cure for conflict.  It is the key to unity and harmony.  It is about being part of a team. 

Submission is the key to marital harmony.  It’s also the key to most relationships!  You don’t have to always be in the driver’s seat!  Not everybody gets to be the center forward or the quarterback.  But every team member knows that glory hogs and show offs, and selfish players destroy a team, and that every orchestra needs a second fiddle or there will be no harmony. 

This is about my attitude.  It is about being my husband’s number one cheerleader!  Everyone needs someone to cheer them on.  We already have too many critics in the world.  What we need is more encouragers. 

Ladies, you have an incredibly powerful key that brings the kind of family harmony that you have always wanted!  This is what love really looks like. 

And according to verse 18, it’s very pleasing to the Lord.  It is appropriate behavior if you are a Christian.  Want to be successful ladies?  Be your husband’s biggest cheer leader.

Here is what loving husbands do to contribute to a happy family

Godly husbands demonstrate the doting attitude of a servant in love, who just can’t do enough to show honor and respect to their wives.  Flowers, dates, gifts, honor, respect, time, conversation, active listening… Never underestimate the power of personal self sacrifice and genuine love for your wife.  That’s what love is, and it will make your marriage one of the best.

19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.

Personal self Sacrifice is at the core of every person’s relationship with God.  Do you want to be spiritual?  Then take up your cross and follow Jesus.  Sacrifice your desires for God’s desires.    

It turns out that passionate, red hot, love is all about sacrifice.  Men you have at your fingertips an incredibly powerful key that can open the door to the marriage you have always wanted! 

If you want this winning attitude, you need to love like Jesus loved!  This is known as Agape love!  How much did Christ love the church?  Christ loves the church so much that he was willing to die for it.  How important is the church?  More important than anything else on earth. 

But what can destroy this attitude?  Bitterness.  Why would a guy become bitter?  When your wife doesn’t measure up, when she isn’t being submissive… beware lest you become bitter.  Husbands God never meant for you to try and force your wife to be a good submissive woman.  That’s not your job.  You may want to do it, but believe me it’s counterproductive!  The only thing it will create is bitterness.  Don’t go there.

Men, you have an incredible powerful key that can bring the kind of family happiness that you have always wanted!  This is what love really looks like. 

Here is what loving children do to contribute to a happy family

Children who love Jesus and want to please him, will also want to be good kids.  Good kids do their best to obey their parents at all times. 

20 Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.

In our crazy mixed up world where stories trickle down to us of educators who tell their class:  “Now class, don’t tell your parents what I told you!”  About gender transitioning, about drag queens, about premarital sex, and other sensitive topics; God’s word has always been a trusted source of information.  And what the Bible tells children is this:  Children obey your parents in all things.

Never underestimate the power of a child who is happy to do what mom and dad say!  They will be so shocked and pleased that, they might even let you borrow the keys to the car! 

There is almost nothing I can think of that brings more chaos into a family than a rebellious child, and there is just about nothing that has the power to bring harmony and joy into a family than happy, well adjusted, obedient kids. 

They won’t be hanging off the cart at K-Mart.  They won’t be screaming in the grocery store.  They are happy to be well behaved.  Children have incredible power to bring family harmony.  You want to be pleasing to God?  Obey your parents.

Here is what loving fathers do to contribute to a happy family

Godly fathers are engaged with their children.  They spend time with them.  They love them.  They correct them.  But most of all, godly fathers encourage their children, rather than filling them with anger, bitterness or resentment.

21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

Fathers are typically the teasing type.  And far too often that teasing becomes exasperating and frustrating to children.  Father’s can also discourage their children through anger, injustice, favoritism, mistreatment, not showing up when they should. 

Why aren’t mother’s included here?  Because as a general rule, Mothers mother naturally, because that is how God made them, but fathers are often tired or claim to be too busy to be the father they were meant to be.  One of the great reasons that children are growing up angry and frustrated is because father is missing. 

But Fathers have an incredible, powerful influence on their children.  Never underestimate the power of genuine encouragement of a father! 

Listen, this is not rocket science.  These principles are not new, but they are true.  They have been around for thousands of years, and they are just as true today as when  the ink dried on the page.  It’s all about your attitude and behavior.  If you want to change your family, change your attitude.

Wives, don’t be selfish, be submissive!  Husbands don’t be self centered, be considerate and loving!  Children, don’t demand your own way, be obedient.  Fathers, don’t be a frustration, be an encourager.  It’s very simple.  The surprising secrets are out;  People who apply biblical principles are more likely to have a happy marriage. 

Research has found that the happiest couples who say that “God is at the center of our marriage” are twice as likely to report that they are very happy than others.  The happiest couples worship together, share key values, focus on serving their spouses instead of being served, look to God for power to be selfless, and trust God for the outcome. They don’t look to marriage for fulfillment, they find that in God. [v]


[i] https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/06/happily-ever-after/372573/

[ii] https://reformedperspective.ca/the-surprising-secrets-of-highly-happy-marriages/

[iii] https://reformedperspective.ca/the-surprising-secrets-of-highly-happy-marriages/

[iv] https://reformedperspective.ca/the-surprising-secrets-of-highly-happy-marriages/

[v] https://reformedperspective.ca/the-surprising-secrets-of-highly-happy-marriages/

Living Your Life on Purpose

Have you ever asked yourself the question, “what should I do with my life?”  Maybe you are one of those people who instinctively knows your purpose.  But those people are rare.  I have met very few people who have a plan for their lives.  Don’t you wish you knew exactly what God wants you to do?  Today, I’m going to help you find your life plan.  And if you will accept it, from now on, you can live your life on purpose! 

It Starts in the Heart! 15

Your master plan must begin inside yourself

Finding peace is about letting Jesus rule the heart.

Don’t buy into the notion a weekend at the beach will give you peace.

Peace rules when we turn life over to God in prayer. Philippians 4:6–7

Peace rules when we live according to God’s Word: (Philippians 4:9).

Your second goal to be thankful.

Thankfulness will exponentially increase your peace! 

Change your thinking and you will change your life!

It Flows from the Mouth 16

Do you have a plan for what you say out loud to people? 

Get God’s Word deep inside. 

“Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly!” 

If you want to speak right, you have to think biblically. 

Speak Scripturally. 

Our words should be used to pass on truth. 

Or mouth should not be used for falsehoods, gossip, or criticism. 

The more that you speak biblically, the better off your life will be!  

All Christians are called to teach and admonish. 

To admonish means to encourage, counsel, and warn one another. 

Sing joyfully. 

Singing is a powerful way to teach.

Our songs ought to be biblically oriented. 

Psalms Are scripture poetry put to music. 

ψαλμός is literally, “to play a stringed instrument.”

Hymn ὕμνος humnos is used to describe truths ascribed to God in praise. 

Spiritual songs  are our testimony of personal response to God.

Change your Words you will Change your World.

It Affects every Action 17

What actions and what behaviors are truly worthy of your life? 

Saying “in Jesus’ name” is not a magic formula.

“In Jesus’ name” means that we are doing it for His kingdom and glory. 

We must set a goal to serve the Lord Jesus Christ every second of every day.

Doing everything in Jesus name results in thankfulness.

Change your behavior and you will transform your relationships.  Imagine what would happen if Jesus were pleased with everything you do!  Imagine doing everything you do to please Jesus!  That is going to change your life!  Change the way you think, change the way you talk, and change the way you act… that is the master plan.  Whatever you do in word or deed, do it heartily as unto the Lord!


Have you ever asked yourself the question, “what should I do with my life?”  Maybe you are one of those people who instinctively knows your purpose; and you know exactly where you are going and what you should be doing.  But those people are rare.  One survey shows that only 10% of people claim to know what their life purpose is, and only 5% say they are following that purpose![i] 

I have met very few people who have a plan for their lives. Most are passive spectators, watching their lives unfold one day at a time. They may plan their careers, the building of a new home, or even a vacation. But it never occurs to them to create a master plan for their life. As a result, many end up discouraged and disillusioned, wondering where they went wrong, and wondering why on earth they are here.

Do you have a life plan?  Let me explain what happens if you don’t have a life plan.  If you don’t have a plan, You don’t know if you are doing the right things.  You doubt yourself and your decisions.  You don’t know the direction your life should go in the future.  You feel lost, confused, uncertain and you struggle with motivation[ii]

Now if I were a secular motivational speaker, right about now, I’d tell you that you need to dig deep inside and find out what really motivates you, what you really want to do, and then make plans to reach those goals.  I’d tell you to list your goals for your finances, your family, your career, and your personal life, and the set out to reach them. 

And there’s nothing wrong with that until one day, you wake up and find out that you’ve been climbing the ladder of success, only to find out that it’s leaning against the wrong building!  What does it matter if you get the top, if you’ve adopted the wrong plan? 

Have you ever wished that life came with a user manual?  Don’t you wish you knew exactly what God wants you to do?  Well congratulations on being here today, because this is your lucky day, because today, I’m going to help you find your life plan.  And if you will accept it, from now on, you can live your life on purpose! 

The plan that I’m going to share with you today is a little different than what you’d get from a high powered motivational speaker.  The master plan that I’m going to share is an all encompassing life plan that will touch and energize every aspect of your life.  Here we go, a master plan for your life.  PART 1

It Starts in the Heart! 15

Your master plan for your life must begin inside yourself, where your feelings and thoughts originate.  If you do not master your inner life, you will never master the rest of your life.  Do you have a plan?  What is the ultimate goal you have for your thoughts and feelings, and how will you achieve it.  Let me describe, ideally, what your heart should be like. Verse 15:

15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.

There are two goals you must have for your heart.  #1 To be at peace.  #2 To be thankful. 

But finding peace isn’t easy. It is easily stolen. It only takes a simple glance at the world news or a mounting to-do list for uncertainty and restlessness to rise up and overwhelm our hearts with anxiety.

Some people like to create chaos (and they are not happy unless they do), some people like to spread good humor (and they are always a barrel of laughs), and some people like to wield power and control as the primary focus of their heart; but for the Christian, the barometer and goal of their inner life must be peace.  We must strive to make peace the norm for our inner life.

To be at peace, you must insist that God be allowed to rule your life. 

Don’t buy into the notion that an afternoon of solitude or a weekend at the beach will give you peace. Peace is not a serene setting.  This peace is not the absence of trouble. It is unrelated to our circumstances. 

We let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts by taking every anxious thought and turning it into a prayer. Philippians 4:6–7 instructs, “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

We let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts by living according to God’s Word: “What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:9).

When peace rules in your heart, you will not only overcome stress and discontentment, but you will get along with other people better.  To this we were called in the body of Christ! 

Your first goal, for your heart is to be at peace.

Your second goal for your inner life is to be thankful.  In fact thankfulness will exponentially increase your peace!  The more you cultivate gratitude, the greater your peace will be.  If you will practice gratitude and thankfulness in every circumstance your heart will slowly but surely begin to be ruled by peace!  It may be a slow process, but it is a certainty.  Thankfulness produces peace.

Change your thinking, change your life!

PART 1 of your master plan relates to your heart.  PART 2 relates to your mouth. 

It Flows from the Mouth 16

Do you have a plan for what you say, or do you just fling it out there, and let it stick where it may?  I know people who don’t care about what others think;  they are going to say what’s on their mind, and if you don’t like it, that’s your problem. 

And, may I say, I’ve been known to say stupid stuff a time or two.  I’ve said stuff that I wish that I could reel in and take back.  Sometimes regret has been my old friend. 

And then there are people who you can’t get a word out of to save your soul!  Some people blabber like idiots, and other people keep their rusted trap shut!  So what is your master plan for your mouth?  How would describe the way you talk to others?  Blabber mouth, Tape face, or another option… are you a fount of wisdom flowing over your lips?  Verse 16 tells us God’s goal for your mouth: 

16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.

Let me give you three goals for your lips.  #1 Get God’s Word deep inside.  #2 Speak Scripturally.  #3 Sing joyfully. 

The number one life goal for your lips is to “Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly!”  If you want to speak right, you have to think right.  If you want to think right, you must think biblically!  That is where wisdom comes from!  That means that you must spend a lifetime meditating on God’s Word.  Since we are on the cusp of a new year, now is a good time to determine that you will Read the Word every day in 2024!  It truly makes a difference!  It has radically transformed my life.

The second goal for your mouth is to speak scripturally.  How should we speak to one another anyway?  What does verse 16 say?  It says that the goal of all conversation is to “teach and admonish one another using the psalms and hymns and spiritual songs.

Our words should be used to teach truth.  Or mouth should not be used for lies, falsehoods, prevarication, gossip, or criticism.  Where do you find truth?  In God’s Word.  The more that you learn to speak biblically, the better off your life will be!  

And to speak biblically we need to teach.  All Christians are called to teach.  A pastor teaches.  A mentor teaches.  A parent teaches.  A coach teaches.  A friend teaches.  Teaching is just about passing on information that we know to be true.  We are all teachers. 

All Christians are called to admonish.  To admonish means to encourage, counsel, and warn one another of the dangers we may be facing. 

Now this verse isn’t talking about a lecture or speech, like the one I am giving.  This verse raises the realm of conversation from the mundane into the realm of worship.  In fact it uses a very specific form of verbalization:  singing.  Which is our third goal.  We want all of you to become singers! 

Singing is a powerful way to teach.  I would venture to guess that most of us know dozens of songs by heart.  And since we know the lyrics to these songs, we know what these songs are teaching!  This leads me to say that our songs ought to be biblically oriented.  Some songs have catchy tunes, but they have horrible theology.  We shouldn’t sing songs that encourage anger, disobedience, fornication or any other work of the flesh.

There are three words used to describe our singing.  The first is the word Psalm.  Now we have an entire book in the Bible called Psalms.  And this book has been the songbook of the church for centuries.  The Psalms were poetry put to music.  The Psalms are God’s word put to music.

However, there is a secondary meaning of the word ψαλμός psalmos.  It is literally, “the twanging of a stringed instrument, or to pluck, play a stringed musical instrument.”  If you wondered if instruments were part of New Testament worship, here it is.

The second word is Hymn.  Now Paul did not have a copy of “The Baptist Hymnal,” or any other modern hymnal.  The hymns we have today were not even composed back then.  The word “Hymn” ὕμνος humnos is used to describe truths ascribed to God.  Hymns are literally praise to God.

The third word is Spiritual songs.  While psalms are a recitation of the inspired word of God, and hymns are used to recite doctrinal truth in praise to God, spiritual songs are odes… they offer believers the opportunity to express their personal responses to God. A spiritual song would be retelling the grace, mercies, and miracles of God from the singer’s point of view.

All three perspectives are good!  We ought to sing Scripture!  (Psalms) We also ought to sing good theology in praise to the greatness of God.  (Hymns) And we ought to sing songs that tell of our love for Jesus and our heart for God.  (Spiritual Songs). 

This is what your lips should be used for. The purpose of language is to speak the truth in love.  That is your roadmap for your mouth for life.  If you Change your Words you will Change your World

PART 1 of your master plan relates to your heart.  PART 2 relates to your mouth.  PART 3 relates to your actions.  The things that you do.

It Affects every Action 17

Why do you do the things that you do?  Why do you go to work?  Why do you go to church?  Why do you help people?  Why do you exercise or eat right?  You take action on things you think will be beneficial to your life.  You need these things, or you want these things.  Or you want them for others.

But what actions, and what behaviors are truly worthy of your life?  How do you know whether or not you should or should not do something:  Verse 17

17 And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

This is obviously broader than just actions, it is words and actions.  It is anything you say or do.  But the scope of our life plan has finally come to your behavior.  Which behaviors are worthy?  There are two answers to that.  #1 If you can do it in the name of Jesus.  #2 If it produces thanksgiving to God.

What does it mean to do something in the name of Jesus?  And how do we do all things in the name of Jesus?  We know we should baptize people in the name of Jesus, and we should pray in the name of Jesus, but this is bigger.

17 times in the New Testament Jesus used the words “in my name.”  and 11 times the Apostles used the phrase “in the name of Jesus.”  For example they said,

Mt 18:5  whoever  receives a little child in my name receives me.

Mt 18:20  where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

Mr 9:41  For whoever gives a cup of water in my name shall not lose his reward.

Ac 9:27  Saul preached boldly at Damascus in the name of Jesus.

Ac 3:6  Then Peter said, Silver and gold have I none; but such as I have give I thee: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth rise up and walk.

Do you get the idea, that you must transform your life by doing everything that you do for Jesus?

Saying “in Jesus’ name” is not a magic formula. The phrase contains no power if it is misused or misunderstood.  Something done “in Jesus’ name” means that we are doing it for Him, His kingdom and is for His glory. 

We should be able to say that over literally everything we do. When we sit down at our desk and open our inbox to start our day, we should say, “In Jesus’ name.” When we meet up with a friend for lunch, we should think, “In Jesus’ name.” When a person tries to merge in traffic ahead of us—yep, even then—“In Jesus’ name.” When we kiss our spouse when we get home from work: “In Jesus’ name.”

In every interaction—not just the spiritual ones—we should be able to say, “I am doing this for Jesus.”  We must set a goal to serve the Lord Jesus Christ every second of every day. Every single thing we do, every step we take, every word we utter should be thought of first and foremost as an offering to Jesus.

How do I know what to do in my life?  Ask yourself the question, “can I honestly say that I can do this for Jesus?”  If you can, do it heartily to the Lord.  And if your behavior exhibits thankfulness to God, then, God bless you, for you are a truly fortunate individual.

What is the Purpose Statement for your life?  Maybe you want to adopt Colossians 3:15-17. 

Change your behavior and you will transform your relationships.  Imagine that Jesus is pleased with everything you do!  Imagine doing everything you do to please Jesus!  This is going to change your life!  Change the way you think, change the way you talk, and change the way you act… that is the master plan.  Whatever you do in word or deed, do it heartily as unto the Lord![iii] 


[i] https://discoveram.com/finding-purpose-why-it-matters-to-your-life-and-business/#:~:text=Most%20people%20don’t%20know,you%20relate%20within%20your%20journey.

[ii] “What Will They Say When You Are Dead?”  This is an incredibly powerful question. To answer it, you have to “fast forward” to the end of your life and look back.

A case study at UCLA by psychologist Emily van Sonnenberg asked students to keep an intention journal. Each morning, they wrote down their intentions for the day.  Sonnenberg found that students who wrote down their goals achieved them 92% more often than those who didn’t. This result proves the power of planning

[iii] “What Will They Say When You Are Dead?”  This is an incredibly powerful question. To answer it, you have to “fast forward” to the end of your life and look back. You are forced to think about the things that matter most.

Is the Virgin Birth for Real?

Most of us crazy Americans believe in the Virgin Birth, according to a recent Pew survey.  The others probably just think we are crazy.  But at Christmas, every church and every town across the country reverently decorates their crèche with the baby Jesus conceived by the Virgin Mary.  And every Christmas skeptics mock this miracle.  Why—of all the miracles in Scripture—is the virgin birth so frequently attacked.  Maybe it is because Christmas is about the Incarnation – the day God became man. 

Joseph was a skeptic 19

First-century folk knew how babies are produced.

It isn’t a recent discovery that virgins don’t have babies. 

If Jesus was not born of a virgin, who was His father? 

Some believe it was an unknown lover.

Some believe that a Roman soldier had a love affair with Mary.

Joseph was the first converted skeptic.   

If it were not for an angel Joseph would have divorced Mary.  

Mary was a virgin 18

Matthew 1 tells Josephs version of the events

Luke 1 tells Mary’s version of the events. 

Mary claimed that she “had never knew a man.”

Isaiah prophesied that the Savior would be born of a virgin.  (Is 7:14)

Mary conceived by the Holy Spirit 20

In fairy tales the gods have illicit relations with women.

In the Bible the Holy Spirit creates the miracle of life.

That is a huge difference. 

The Virgin Birth is not a myth, it is a miracle.

Jesus is the Savior 21

He will save His people from their sins.

The cradle was the first step toward the cross. 

At the Cross, Jesus paid the penalty for our sins.

Millions have been “saved” by Jesus. 

Jesus is “God with Us” 22-23

His name is “Immanuel,” which is translated, “God with us.”

His name is “Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”  Isaiah 9:6

The Virgin Birth explains how Jesus could be both God and man.

It explains how Jesus did not inherit a sin nature. (Hebrews 4.15)

If untrue, Mary and Joseph are nothing more than con artists.

The Christmas story is the story of a radical new beginning in God’s relationship with the human race.  When I hear how God became man, and the word was made flesh and dwelt among us’ a tingle runs down my spine, this is the good news of the ultimate miracle.  The basis of Christianity is that Jesus is the Son of God, not the son of Joseph.  And if this miracle be true, then we should come before the manger and worship Him as the shepherds and wise men did so long ago. 


How do I know the Virgin Birth isn’t a myth?

The magazine, Popular Science writes:  “It’s that time of year again when all rational human beings shake our heads in amusement at those crazy, miracle-believers and their improbable stories. Flying reindeer? Walking on water. St. Nicholas’ ability to ingest mass quantities of cookies without succumbing to diabetes,” the virgin birth and other impossible myths.[i]

It turns out that in 2013 three-quarters of us crazy Americans believe in the impossible myth we call the Virgin Birth, according to a Pew survey.[ii]  That was down to 66% in 2014.[iii] The other 33% probably just think we are crazy.  But at Christmas, every church and every town across the country reverently decorates their crèche with the baby Jesus conceived by the Virgin Mary. 

And every Christmas, skeptics mock this miracle.  Why—of all the miracles in Scripture—is the virgin birth so frequently attacked.  For us Christians it’s really not a problem.  After all, if God created the universe, what’s the big deal about a virgin birth?  Maybe it’s because any miracle, no matter how small is an indication that there is a God, and that is just not acceptable to a skeptic. 

Christmas is not just about shopping and mistletoe, eating turkey and drinking egg nog, presents and magnificent Christmas displays; it is about the Incarnation – Christmas is about the day God became man.  Matthew 1:23 says that Jesus is “Immanuel, the God who is with us.” 

That’s sensational.  If true, it is staggering!  Every human ever born had a human father and a human mother and to suggest that Mary was the mother of God is a stunning and fantastic claim.  Joseph himself was a skeptic.

Joseph was a skeptic 19

“Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not wanting to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privately.”

He pondered on these things.  First-century folk knew every bit as much as we do that babies are produced by a relationship between a woman and a man.  They probably understood it better than we, being country folk!  When Joseph heard about Mary’s pregnancy, his problem arose not because he didn’t know the facts of life, but because he did.[iv] 

Now here’s an interesting tidbit.  In 1955, a woman shocked the world, scandalized the church and divided the medical profession by her claims that her daughter was virgin born.  It turns out that there was a lecture by geneticist Dr. Helen Spurway about spontaneous parthenogenesis, in which female guppies could get pregnant without the male.  She suggested that perhaps it was also possible in humans.  Are virgin births possible? In guppies, yes, because the female may be able to produce sperm as well as ova.[v]  Out of that context, one woman claimed her child was virgin born.  Before the era of DNA testing, doctors had no way to disprove it, and the woman became an overnight sensation with headlines reading, “Child born without a man!” 

Medicine has come a long way since then! Today we know that for a human embryo to develop successfully it needs genetic instructions from the male sperm cell, and the only way to get that is from a human male.  But it isn’t a recent discovery that virgins don’t have babies. 

Joseph knew that.  He wanted to end the relationship with Mary.  He didn’t know who the father was, but in his mind, Mary must have been playing around and lying to him.  That lends some credibility to the story of the virgin birth.  Joseph was the first converted skeptic. 

If Jesus was not born of a virgin, who was His father? 

The Jesus Seminar, a group of liberal religious scholars made news in 2016 when they cast doubt the His miraculous birth.  Voting with multi-colored pebbles, these pundits decided that Mary must have had an unknown lover.[vi]  Some believe that Jesus was the illegitimate child of a Roman soldier who either had a love affair with Mary, or raped her.[vii] 

I suppose that is possible, but neither, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Joseph, Mary, or any other disciples ever thought that.  The Pharisees intimated it, the Jews circulated it, but the rumor of an affair was never taken seriously until the nineteenth century.  There is not a shred of ancient evidence, even by the harshest enemies of Jesus, that his mother committed adultery. Quite the opposite is the case.[viii]

The Jews had a habit of ostracizing or stoning those who committed adultery, but Joseph did not respond that way.  And he wasn’t the only one.  Cousin Elizabeth when she heard about the pregnancy said, “Blessed are you among women!”  That’s not a normal Hebrew response to rape or adultery!

Joseph was on the spot.  Imagine how he felt?  In a situation where the love of your life has ruined your future, there is only one reasonable response:  End the relationship.  If it were not for an angel that came to Joseph in a dream, he would have left her.  He was a converted skeptic. 

What is the evidence for the virgin birth?  How does one research a first-century woman’s virginity anyway?  Are we brain dead because we believe in the Virgin Birth?  Some people say that the evidence for the Virgin Birth … is so shaky that it pretty much has to be a leap of faith.  One man calls it the “entrance myth” to go with the resurrection, the “exit myth.”[ix]

There are four biblical facts I want to review quickly: #1

Mary was a virgin 18

18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: After His mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Spirit.

In Luke chapter 1:26-34, we have Mary’s version of the events. 

26 Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, 27 to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. 28 And having come in, the angel said to her, “Rejoice, highly favored one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!” 29 But when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and considered what manner of greeting this was. 30 Then the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. 31 And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a Son, and shall call His name Jesus. 32 He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Highest; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David. 33 And He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of His kingdom there will be no end.” 34 Then Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I do not know a man?”

The way the Bible tells the story, Mary was clearly a virgin.  Mary was puzzled.  She didn’t get it!  She had never known a man.  And here is why that is such an important point.  In the book of Isaiah, 1000 years earlier, the prophet predicted that the deliverer would be born of a virgin. 

“Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a Son, and shall call His name Immanuel.” (Isaiah 7:14).  The second biblical evidence is that

Mary conceived by the Holy Spirit 20

“But while he thought about these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit.”

There are those who say that the virgin birth is a fairy tale, and that there are other stories in pagan literature of how  Krishna was born of the virgin Devaka, Horus was born of the virgin Isis, Mercury was born of the virgin Maia and Romulus was born of the virgin Rhea Sylvia.[x]

Jesus, they say, is just another in a long line of myths.  Let me see if I can get you to see one huge difference.  The other stories are about the gods coming down to earth and fornicating with women.  The Bible is about the Holy Spirit creating the miracle of life in the womb.  In the retelling of Jesus birth, God did not stoop to a human level to sexually impregnate Mary.  He simply said the word, and life was created.  He simply slipped out of heaven and took on the form of frail human flesh.  The Virgin Birth is not a pagan sexual myth, it is a divine Miracle.

Mary brought forth a Savior 21

“And she will bring forth a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.”

Here is the problem we Christian’s have if Jesus wasn’t Virgin born.  If Jesus was not Virgin Born, then He is not God in the flesh.  And if He is not God in the flesh, then the Bible is a myth and Jesus, Joseph, Mary and the Apostles all knowingly lied to us, and the worst of it is that a Jesus who was not Virgin Born, could not live a sinless life or die a substitutionary death for you and me.  If there is no Virgin Birth, then there is no Salvation, and those of us who believe are still lost in our sins! 

The cradle was the first step toward the cross.  At the Cross, Jesus paid the penalty for our sins and made it possible for us to be saved.  To be saved, you must trust Him.  Jesus was crucified on the same day that the Passover lamb was killed.  His death and resurrection created a revolution in the world system.  Hundreds came to trust him at first, turning into millions and billions. 

And every one who has genuinely been saved will tell you:  Jesus saved me!  He transformed my life.  He gave me hope and a new lease on life. 

And the Bible gives us this wonderful message of hope:

Jesus is “God with Us”

In our text today, Matthew 1:22-23, it says, “So all this was done that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the Lord through the prophet, saying: “Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel,” which is translated, “God with us.”

Isaiah 9:6 further identifies Him:  “For unto us a Child is born, Unto us a Son is given; And the government will be upon His shoulder. And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” 

The Virgin Birth explains how Christ could be both God and man. It explains how Jesus did not inherit a sin nature like the rest of us of humans have from Adam.  Jesus was “without sin” (Hebrews 4.15), “holy, blameless, undefiled, separated from sinners” (7.26), thus he “knew no sin” (2 Corinthians 5.21).

If the virgin birth is untrue, then the story of Jesus changes greatly; we would have a sexually promiscuous young woman lying about God’s miraculous hand in the birth of her son, raising that son to declare he was God, and then joining his religion. But if Mary is nothing more than a con artist then her son Jesus should not be trusted.[xi]

Instead, the Christmas story is the story of a radical new beginning in God’s relationship with the human race.  When I hear how God became man, and the word was made flesh and dwelt among us’ a tingle runs down my spine, this is the good news of the ultimate miracle.  The basis of Christianity is that Jesus is the Son of God, not the son of Joseph”

And if this miracle be true, then we should come before the manger and worship Him as the shepherds and wise men did so long ago.  We Believe in the Virgin Birth and sinless life of Jesus the Messiah. 


[i] https://www.popsci.com/blog-network/ladybits/scientific-miracle-theories-marys-virgin-birth#page-2

[ii] https://www.livescience.com/42175-virgin-birth-why-we-believe.html 2013

[iii] https://www.christianpost.com/news/fewer-americans-believe-jesus-was-born-of-a-virgin-study.html

[iv] https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/the-virgin-birth

[v] https://content.time.com/time/subscriber/article/0,33009,861693,00.html

[vi] http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/1994/december12/4te018.html

[vii] https://billygraham.org/decision-magazine/december-2016/assault-virgin-birth/

[viii] https://jamestabor.com/best-evidence-mary-was-not-impregnated-by-a-roman-soldier/

[ix] https://albertmohler.com/2011/12/14/must-we-believe-in-the-virgin-birth/

[x] https://www.spectator.co.uk/2007/12/do-you-believe-in-the-virgin-birth/

[xi] https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/the-virgin-birth

Should Christians Celebrate Christmas?

Is Christmas a Pagan Holiday?  Many of us grew up hearing that Christmas on December 25th, was a hijacked pagan festival.  Absolutely not true.  We live in an era of two very different Christmases.  One version is the simple birth of Christ; the other one is secularized and commercialized.  What does Egg Nog, Mistletoe and Holly have to do with Christmas?  The origin of many of these customs aren’t sacred, they are secular.

WHAT IS PAGANISM?

Paganism is the worship of or the belief in false gods. 

Early Christians dealt with Roman and Greek Paganism.

Paganism relates to your motivation, not to your decorations.

DOES CHRISTMAS HAVE PAGAN ROOTS?

What makes something pagan? 

Does Pagan use of something magically make that thing pagan? 

Incense is used in Caesar worship and in the Jewish Temple. 

Incense is just an object with no moral value. 

It is only what we use it for that makes a difference. 

The same is true of meat sacrificed to idols.  1 Cor 10:27-30

The same is true of Christmas trees or Easter eggs. 

Was December 25th originally a pagan holiday.

Early Christians were hated because they did not worship with pagans.

Why would they steal something they refused to participate in?

The first historical reference to the Birth of Christ is 200 A.D.  & 354

There are no Pagan Celebrations on the Julian Calendar on December 25. 

Christianity rose to conquer paganism not to become pagans. 

IS CHRISTMAS BIBLICAL?

There is no command in the New Testament to celebrate Christmas. 

  • We must obey all New Testament commands
  • We must abstain from things that are condemned. 
  • If it neither commanded or condemned we may, exercise liberty.

All things are permissible, but not all things are beneficial. 1 Cor 10:23 

Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. Rom 14:5–6

There are many examples of people worshiping at the birth of Christ. 

  • The Prophets told us to prepare for His Birth Day – Isaiah 9:6
  • The Father commanded worship at His Birth – Hebrews 1:6
  • The Angels worshiped Jesus at his birth – Luke 2:10-14

Jesus celebrated a man made feast called Hanukkah.  John 10:22-23

HOW SHOULD WE CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS

Humble your heart. Phil 2:5-11

Express appreciation to God for adoption.  Gal 4:4-6

Rejoice in your salvation from sin.  Matt. 1:20–21

Thank God for His Amazing Grace. John 3:16

Have pagans ever worshiped the birth of the son of God, Jesus coming to earth?  No.  Pagan celebrations were utterly different from Christianity. They were made up of licentiousness, gambling, and great excess.  The original spirit of Christmas was about a faithful Joseph and humble Virgin Mary who miraculously give birth to the Son of God.  That’s why we celebrate Christmas. 


The War On Christmas

There is a war being waged against Christmas.  And I’m not just talking about Merry Christmas vs Happy Holidays, nor am I just thinking about the removal of nativity crèches from public buildings, or the name change from Christmas vacation to Winter break in public schools.  Those are certainly hot spots in the culture war.  I’m talking about something a little more insidious.  a battle is being waged in an attempt to distort and malign the historical facts of the birth of the Lord Jesus Christ… to get us to doubt his miraculous birth.

Accuracy – Luke 1:1-4

Luke took his information from eyewitnesses (Luke 1:1-4)

Luke interviewed Peter, Mary and all the other disciples.

Luke has been found to be unfailingly accurate of historical events. 

Should you believe An eye witness or someone who lived 2000 years later?

Harmony – John 21:25

Do Matthew and Luke tell two different stories? 

Matthew is told from Joseph’s perspective:

Joseph’s Genealogy

Angel Appears to Joseph

The Wise Men

Herod’s Plot

Luke is told from Mary’s perspective:

Mary’s Genealogy

Angel Appears to Mary

The Shepherds

Caesar’s Census

The authors wrote with different intentions to different audiences.

Rather than create a conflict, they create a complete story.

FactualMatthew 1:20-21

The skeptic says that there are no historical records of this trip.

However there were Magi in the east

Historical silence is not an overwhelming argument

The skeptic says that there are no records of the massacre

But the massacre does fit Herod’s character

There may have been only about half a dozen kids in Bethlehem

The massacre was really not big news in Judea

Historians often neglected to record big events!

You can trust the Christmas Story. It is quite possibly the favorite of all the stories ever told— a story steeped in joy, and in good will.  It’s the foundation not just for the Christian faith, and in many ways, for the whole of Western civilization was built upon it.  It is the story of how God loved us so much he sent us His dear Son!

Living Your Best Life Ever

What would make your life better? If money was no object, if you had all the talent, time and resources needed, what would you change about your life?  You can change all the external things about your life, but unless your heart changes, you will be just as miserable as you were before. 

Negative behavior is the cause of many of our problems

Bad behavior is a defense mechanism used to protect ourselves from hurt.

These behaviors ruin relationships rather than healing them. 

1.  Tender Mercy

You must replace hard handedness and anger with tender mercy. 

Tender σπλάγχνον describes the heart, the  seat of our emotions; 

Mercy οἰκτιρμός is a heart in which compassion resides.

God the Father of mercies, comforts us in our difficulties. 2 Cor 1:3-4

2.  Kindness

You must replace lack of sympathy and callousness with kindness. 

Kindness χρηστότης is the willingness to do good and help others.

 Kindness is a gift.

We are no more like God than when we give. 

3.  Humility

You must replace arrogance and boasting with humility. 

Humility, ταπεινοφροσύνη is having a modest opinion of one’s importance.

Humility takes an interest in other people instead of focusing on self.  

4.  Meekness

Replace harshness and wrath with gentleness.

Meek, πρᾳότης means a mild temperament.

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”  Pro 15:1 

5.  Longsuffering

You must replace impatience with forbearance.

Longsuffering μακροθυμία is bearing with one another. 

6.  Forgiveness

You must replace vindictiveness with forgiveness.

You must forgive the same way Christ forgave you.

Forgiveness χαρίζομαι is a gift that you give yourself and others.

Forgiveness sets you free.

7.  Love

We need to replace animosity and indifference with love.

Love ἀγάπη means unconditional acceptance and affection.

Perfect love casts out all fear!  Don’t be afraid to love.

Love is the only way to bring about perfect unity. 

These are Seven beautiful characteristics which when put into practice will enable you live your best life ever.  If you as an individual practice them, you will find joy, hope and harmony.  “Making a decision to put on the New Man won’t instantaneously and automatically change your life.  But the decision to put on the New Man will immediately and dramatically impact your life.”  Why?  Because when your change the aim of your life, and decide to adopt a brand new set of behaviors, that decision in and of itself is so powerful it produces a dramatic life shift!  Once you get a taste of freedom, you will want to live your best life ever!


What would make your life better?

If money was no object, if you had all the talent, time and resources needed, what would you change about your life?  What is the most important thing you would do differently if you could change anything about yourself? 

Maybe you’d shed some weight?  Maybe you’d find true love?  Maybe you’d buy a big mansion with a swimming pool?  Maybe you’d get your health back?  Maybe you’d spend more time with family?  Or maybe you’d finally get that career opportunity you’ve always wanted. 

Now these are very good things.  And I wouldn’t want to hold you back from any of them.  However, even if you could escape the life you now live, and get inside the skin of a wealthy, healthy, successful life, none of these things are guaranteed to bring joy, satisfaction, harmony or peace. 

when I was about 16 years old, contemplating leaving home, and striking out on my own… leaving my family and everything behind, my brother Doug came to me and told me, “You might be able to run away from your old life, but problem is, that you take yourself wherever you go, and the problems you now have will follow you unless you deal with them.  You can’t run away from your problems.” 

You can change all the external things about your life, but unless your heart changes, you will be just as miserable as you were before. 

So my purpose today is to tell you how to live your best life ever, whether or not you are rich or poor, healthy or sick, alone or among family and friends.  My goal is to explain to you how you can stop the bad attitudes and habits of your old life and get your life back so that you can be a brand new you with a brand new life! 

If you want to begin living your best life ever, you need to decide that the most important thing in your life is that you want to become like Jesus.  You must allow the Word of God to transform you.  And you need to replace your old attitudes with new ones.  

Let me make it simple, “put off the old man and put on the new man.”  In its simplest form, this means that you make a decision to reject the old value system that is hurting you, and to replace it with a new, biblical value system which will change your life for the better!

Last week we said it was like changing lanes in a bowling alley.  You have to make a decision to stop bowling in the Devils bowling alley, and change lanes, and start bowling in God’s lane.  That means changing the behaviors you are aiming for.  You stop aiming for Anger, Wrath, Lying, Malice, Filthy Language and Blasphemy, and you begin aiming for Love, Humility, Kindness, Meekness, Forgiveness, Tender Mercy and Longsuffering. 

Now let me ask you these all important questions; why do we humans become angry so easily?  Why do we so easily fudge the truth?  Why do we so quickly cuss or swear?  Why do we naturally think about bitterness and revenge? 

Well, for one thing, it’s our defense mechanism, isn’t it?  In order to protect ourselves from hurt, we strike out in anger at others.  And for another thing, we don’t want to look bad or to look stupid, so we use these emotions to defend our character.  Another reason is because it may be the only way we know how to respond.  We learned these behaviors and practiced them all our lives, and we don’t know how to change them.  And then the bottom line is that we are sinners, and the Devil has deceived us into bowling in his lane.  We naturally gravitate toward the negative!  We have a heap of a big problem.

And we know that these bad behaviors are not good for us, or for our relationships.  In fact these behaviors repel others instead of attracting them.  They ruin relationships rather than healing them.  They drive people away instead of drawing them near to us in friendship. 

That’s what we want to avoid.  The old toxic me which does nothing but cause problems for myself!  And the new man is what we want to gain!  The beautiful new me brings me the best life I’ve ever hoped to live.  Life change for the Christian is about Installing the few key disciplines required for major breakthroughs.  Once you begin to change you will feel the momentum. Catch this, and you’ll be unstoppable.

Let’s make a list of the attitudes and behaviors that you should aim for.  Let me describe the kind of life we all want to live.  And then let’s grab hold of it with the most gusto we can!  The first thing to characterize your new life is tender mercies:

1.  Tender Mercy

If you want to overcome your anger, you must replace hard handedness and anger with tender mercy. 

Tender Mercy is two words:  In the Greek language, the word Tender describes the heart;  σπλάγχνον splagchnon which is talking about the inner seat of our emotions and feelings.  There are several words for Mercy in the New Testament.  This one, οἰκτιρμός oiktirmos, describes compassion for the ills of others.  If you put the two words together you get “a heart in which compassion resides.”

Tender Mercies is something God models for us in 2 Cor 1:3-4 “3   Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; 4  Who comforts us in our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble.”

If you want to live your best life ever, I suggest that you replace your irritation over others shortcomings with compassion.  Instead of being combative, we need to realize that irritating people are struggling, and the way to help them is to be understanding rather than angry. 

Mt 5:7  Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.

2.  Kindness

Be kind.  If you want to touch people’s hearts, you must replace lack of sympathy and callousness with kindness.  Kill them with kindness.

The idea behind kindness χρηστότης chrestotes is that we are ready and willing to do good to others by helping meet their needs and requests, and even go beyond their needs.  And the root of this word is “gift.”  Kindness is a gift.

I remember my first flat tire.  I was newly married and flat broke.  I pulled into Les Schwab knowing I could not pay to have the tire fixed.  When they were finished, I asked, “how much will this cost me?”  The man kindly smiled at me, and said “nothing!  It’s free!”  I didn’t know that was a policy, but it was a kind policy!  I was overwhelmed with gratitude.  And because of their kindness, that’s where I buy my tires. 

The story is told of a soldier during WW2 who saw a poor, raged boy peering into the window of a bakery, salivating over the fresh baked pastries inside.  The man went in, bought a dozen donuts and gave them to the boy.  As he was walking away, the boy pulled on his sleeve and asked, “Mister, are you God?”  We are no more like God than when we give. 

3.  Humility

We need to be humble.  If you want deeper relationships with the people you love, you must replace arrogance and boasting with humility. 

My daughter told me the other day that arrogance and boasting isn’t attractive to her.  She’s had guys wanting to date her, and they try to impress her with their exploits or their wealth, and she just bluntly tells them, “Those things don’t interest me.”  Well, what does?  Humility was her answer. 

The word humility, ταπεινοφροσύνη tapeinophrosune  is having a modest opinion of one’s importance.  Rather than trying to impress people with your talents or accomplishments, to show that you are as good or better than others, humility is more about taking an interest in other people instead.  

A woman was once graced to meet two of England’s greatest leaders.  Afterwards she was asked about it.  She said, Oh, when I met the first, he led me to believe that he was the most intelligent and amazing man in the world, but the second leader made me feel that I was the most important woman in the world.

4.  Meekness

We need to be meek.  If you want to get along with people, replace harshness and wrath with gentleness.

The word Meek, πρᾳότης praotes  means gentleness, or a mild temperament.

Proverbs 15:1 tells us that a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”  When you are verbally ambushed, it’s just natural to fling mud back.  … and then the fight began.  If only I could temper my responses to be more gentle and meek!  It would sure save me a lot of problems! 

5.  Longsuffering

We need to suffer long.  Now I have bunched this one together with the next statement, because it seems to be the same thing.  Longsuffering is bearing with one another. 

Longsuffering means μακροθυμία makrothumia patience, endurance, perseverance,  slowness in avenging wrongs;  it means to suffer with wrongs for a long time.  This is really good marriage advice.  You will discover that your partner is a flawed human being who seems to make the same mistakes all the time, and who treats you poorly over and over and over.  If you don’t’ have patience and forgiveness, you’re not going to make it. 

6.  Forgiveness     

We need to forgive.  If you want to be free from bitterness, anxiety and turmoil you must replace vindictiveness with forgiveness.

Now verse 13 says, “forgive one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.”

Forgive in the same way Jesus did when he hung on the cross and cried, “father forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing!”

You must not seek revenge, you must grant forgiveness.  Forgiveness χαρίζομαι charizomai is a gift that you give yourself, which releases you from your feelings of anger, bitterness and turmoil.  If you want spiritual and emotional freedom, you must learn to forgive. 

Forgiveness doesn’t let the other person off the hook, they still have to deal with God.  But forgiveness is a gift that offers pardon to that person, if he will take it, and offers restoration if he or she will receive it.  Forgiveness is one of the most important relationship secrets and one of the most important things you can do for your own self.  If you want freedom, you need to forgive. 

7.  Love

But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection

We need to love one another.  Who doesn’t want love?  Love is the queen of virtues.  Husbands love your wives.  Wives love your husbands.  Parents should love children, and children should love parents. 

Love is ἀγάπη agape which means unconditional acceptance; it is deep affection, good will, and gracious benevolence. 

There is some debate as to what the opposite of love is.  Some suggest that it is hatred, and I’m sure that is true.  We should love instead of hate.  Some think it is the opposite of indifference.  If love is great emotional caring, indifference is not caring at all.  We must not be indifferent to the needs of others.  Some say that love is opposite of fear.  If you fear someone, it can turn into indifference or hatred. 

But perfect love casts out all fear!  Don’t be afraid to love, even though love makes you vulnerable.  Love anyway.  It is the only way to bring about perfect unity between family and friends.  Love is the bond of perfection. 

So here we are.  Seven beautiful characteristics which when put into practice will enable you live your best life ever.  This is one of the best descriptions of your new life, anywhere.  If you as an individual practice them, you will find joy, hope and harmony.  If your family practices them, they will find unity and peace.  And if our church puts these into practice, we are going to be the nicest group of people in town.  They will say, “Oh how they love one another!” 

This is life changing.  Put off the old man, and put on the new man. 

If you are struggling with anger, bitterness, frustration or lack of forgiveness, how’s that working for you?  Honestly, if you’re being honest with yourself, you know, that deep down inside, the old life not good, and you need to change.  Are you ready to make a dramatic shift from the old man to the new man?  Are you ready to live your best life ever?  Are you ready to make a change that will make your life better than ever? 

Now, I know it’s difficult, and I know you will probably fail over and over.  But I want you to mull over this one important thought:  “Making a decision to put on the New Man won’t instantaneously and automatically change your life.”  Just because you make a decision to aim your life in a better direction and put on the new man, doesn’t mean you won’t mess it up.  It’s going to happen.  You won’t change overnight.

But the decision to put on the New Man will immediately and dramatically impact your life.  Why?  Because when your change the aim of your life, and decide to adopt a brand new set of behaviors, that decision in and of itself is so powerful it produces a dramatic life shift! 

It’s like opening the door to a new life.  It is like bowling in a new lane.  Are you going to throw a few gutter balls?  Yeah!  Are you going to get a strike every time?  No.  But the difference is that now you are aiming at a different set of outcomes.  And that is huge.  It’s crucial to avoid becoming dismayed when you don’t see immediate effects, and to ensure you keep generating good results.  What you need to do is take little steps, because daily, small, positive actions are the secret to long-term success.

Let me close with this thought:

CRY has 3 letters but so does JOY, HATE has 4 letters but so does LOVE, LYING has 5 letters but so does TRUTH, ENEMIES has 7 letters but so does FRIENDS, NEGATIVE has 8 letters but so does POSITIVE, OLD MAN has 6 letters but so does NEW MAN.

It’s your Choice.  You get to choose your behaviors.  And the good news is the new man comes with a money back guarantee.  If after three months you are dissatisfied, and you don’t like your new life of love, forgiveness and kindness, you can trade it back in.  You can have your old one back at no cost, no questions asked.  You can go back to being angry, gruff, bitter and unhappy if you want to, and no one can stop you.  But I’m betting that once you get a taste of freedom, you will want to live your best life ever!