What is your greatest regret in life?
I
f your life ended today, what would you regret the most?
It could be something that you did that you should not have done, or it could be something that you did not do that you wish you had.
A national survey about the regrets of the typical American found 13 common sources for regret.[i] I just want to share the top five with you in reverse order:
- Money – I wish I had traveled more, enjoyed life more and worried about money less. (Is this your regret?)
- Career – I wish I had followed my dreams instead of just settling for a job.
- Education – I wish I’d gotten the education I needed when I was younger.
- Family – Some say, “I wish I would have had children” while others say, “I regret not making my family a priority when I was younger.”
- Love Romance – (two categories) 1. I wish I had not fallen in love with someone who is no longer in love with me. 2. I regret having an affair which turned my life upside down. – Failed love and romance is the number one regret of Americans!
One heartbroken married woman writes: I regret that I bumped into you after so many years. I regret that when you grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight that I didn’t pull away. You looked into my eyes and said all the right things. I felt like I was falling in love again…with you. I regret that we exchanged email and phone numbers….I regret that when you called and texted me that I responded. I regret that I met up that night even though we were both married… You told me you had never stopped loving me… You kissed me and gently caressed my cheek… it nearly destroyed me emotionally. ( I knew I couldn’t have you).You are so bad for me and I know that. I ended up so torn up inside that I went to a very dark place in my mind. I am ashamed of my poor judgment.[ii]
Bad decisions often lead to big regrets. For all the sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, it might have been.
The question we are asking ourselves today is this, Is it possible to be brought from regret to restoration, no matter how horrible our mistakes have been, no matter how badly we botched it? How does the cross and the empty tomb bring hope, forgiveness and restoration to people who have with big regrets.” If you are a believer, the answer seems pretty elementary. The death and resurrection of Jesus is THE event which is meant to erase the regrets of sin and restore us to harmony with God and with one other!
But if you are like so many who are struggling with regret, depression and despair, you want to know how to make the cross work for you. That is what we are going to find out on our journey to the cross, today.
I find it interesting that none of the top regrets are “faith regrets.” Let me explain what I mean. I’ve talked to a number of people who have told me, “I wish I had begun following Jesus at a younger age! I would have been a better father or husband. I have missed out on so much! I could have made a real difference if I had just followed Jesus years ago. Jesus has changed my life… I wish I’d figured that out years ago.”
Maybe you have faith regrets. Today I want to introduce you to a man who made a bad decision, had shameful regrets, and yet found hope in the cross and the resurrected Jesus. He is the example for us. You may know about him. His name is Peter.
On the night of Jesus’ betrayal, Peter boasted too much, prayed too little, acted too soon, followed too far off, and thought too late. It was the might have beens of life that haunted him.
Peter had promise
When Jesus first met Peter, John 1:42 says that “Jesus looked at him and said, “You are Simon son of John, but from now on your name will be Cephas” which, when translated, is Peter, meaning “a rock.” (paraphrase)
Have you ever been called a nickname? Skinny, wiggles, bubba, angel, baby cakes, genius. When I was in High school they used to call me Jesus. They used to also call me Dennis the Menace. I’m not quite sure how to merge Dennis the Menace and Jesus into one personality.
For some reason, in the sports world, boxers have always gotten the good nick names. Names like Arturo “THUNDER” Gatti, Nicolay Valuev “The Beast from the East,” Bernard, “THE EXECUTIONER” Hopkins, “Ferocious” Fernando Vargas and Hector, “MACHO” Camacho. Who wants to go up against “The Executioner,” or “The Beast from the east?”
Names are important. They have power. Names define us.
So what did Jesus see in Peter that he called him “a rock?” I’m sure that Jesus knew Peter’s potential, and he wanted him to live up to it. Every time he called him “Cephas,” Peter was reminded that his legacy was to be a solid rock when the storms of life were shaking everyone else. “I’m the Rock!”
If you are going to call someone by a nickname, be sure that it is endearing or gives them something to live up to. And I think that Peter wanted to live up to his new name.
Peter was Bold
When Jesus asked the disciples the tough question, “who am I, really?” I’m thinking that there was dead silence. You know how it is when the teacher asks a question, and you think you know the answer but you don’t want to get it wrong and look stupid? It was Peter who went out on a limb and said, “If everyone one else is too timid to speak up, I’ll tell you what I think, I think you are the son of God!” Matthew 16:16 Peter was bold.
And when the disciples were awestruck by Jesus glorious transfiguration, Peter blurted out, “Hey, Jesus, this is amazing, we need build a temple on this very hill to commemorate this moment so we can tell everyone about your glory! People need to know how incredible you are! Matthew 17:1-3 Peter was a big thinker.
And when Jesus began telling his disciples that he was headed to Jerusalem to be tortured and killed by the religious leaders, Peter stepped in and shouted, “Not on my watch! That is never going to happen while I’m around! Peter was a rock!
But his legacy would be tested.
Peter had Flaws
Peter’s courage was about to be tested. His resolve would be stretched to the limit. Jesus would demonstrate through Peter that pretty much, there is no one who gets it right all the time. We all have flaws, and given the right set of circumstances, we just may cave in and fail. That’s what Matthew 26:31-35 is all about.
“Then Jesus said to them, “All of you will be stumble because of Me tonight, for it is written: ‘I will strike the Shepherd, And the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’ But after I have been raised, I will go before you to Galilee.” Peter answered and said to Him, “Even if all are made to stumble because of You, I will never be stumble.” Jesus said to him, “Assuredly, I say to you that this night, before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.” 35 Peter said to Him, “Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!” And so said all the disciples.
Mark 14:31 records Peters response like this: Peter insisted emphatically, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never deny you.”
And He was doing pretty good at keeping his promises too. When the Temple Guard came to arrest Jesus, Simon Peter drew his sword and because he was such an incredible swordsman, instead of hacking off the neck of one of the attackers, or stabbing him in the gut, he sliced the guys ear off!
And Jesus reached down to where the high priests servant was writhing in pain and healed his ear. If Jesus is going to heal his enemies, what good is a sword, and Peter fled. His bravado was gone. At that moment he was not “The beast from the east, the macho man, Mr. ferocious or the executioner.
Peter Had Regrets
You know the story. Peter snuck into the courtyard of the High Priests palace where Jesus was being tried and he sat by the fire to see the end. He was hiding among the servants when a girl, of all people, a girl spoke to him! “You are one of the followers of Jesus, aren’t you?” She said… and he denied it. How humiliating for a man in that culture to be challenged by a girl. Women weren’t even supposed to talk to men in public. And they certainly weren’t allowed to challenge them.
Peter slunk away by the front gate where another servant girl accused him, “This fellow also was with Jesus!” This time big bold Peter swore and oath, “By the gold in the temple, I don’t know the man.”
But he made the big mistake of opening his big mouth. Peter had a Galilean accent. Immediately the folks who were standing around turned to look at him. Then they came up to him and said, “I think the girls are right! Surely you are one of them for your speech betrays you!” This time Peter was so defensive, that he did something he’d done as a big fisherman, many times, he began to curse and swear!
Luke 22:61 The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times.” So he went out and wept bitterly.
Peter had regrets. He couldn’t protect the one person that he loved more than anyone else in the world. He couldn’t even stand up for him in front of a servant girl! He was broken.
Over the next few hours, Jesus would be taken to the cross. Peter watched him die. Over the next few days, the big fisherman descended into a tailspin of regret and depression. Then came the empty tomb and the resurrection. He watched in wonder as Jesus appeared to the disciples. It was amazing, but it didn’t erase what he had done. He was still a failure. And there was no way in his mind that Jesus would ever trust him again. Heck, he didn’t trust himself. What he needed was forgiveness, restoration and hope.
Peter was forgiven
The first glimpse of hope came in a cryptic message from Jesus. Jesus told the women to tell, and I quote, “the disciples and Peter to meet him in Galilee.” Mark 16:7 So he went. Why did Jesus name him? What did Jesus want of him? He would find out soon enough.
There on the shore of the Sea of Galilee, Jesus asked Peter, “Do you love me?” He didn’t ask once, He didn’t ask twice, He asked three times. One time for every time Peter denied him. Talk about rubbing salt in the wound. Peter was right to think that Jesus would never trust him again. He was a wounded follower. He followed Jesus, but he had not experienced the freedom of forgiveness.
But the strange thing is that after every time Jesus asked Peter, “Do you love Me,” He followed it with the simple statement, “Then feed my sheep!” Three times He said it. “Feed my sheep!” The message was clear. You BIG, BOLD FAILURE! I still want you! I still trust you! I still believe in you! I forgive you! Now go be the rock you were meant to be!
That’s what the resurrected Jesus offers us! Hope! Sure you have regrets! Sure you have failed. But Jesus till wants you. Jesus still believes in you. Jesus still offers forgiveness to you! And it is all because of the cross and the resurrection!
One day years later, perhaps reflecting on that very moment when he received that wonderful gift of mercy, forgiveness and restoration, Peter would write:
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for us, for we are KEPT BY THE POWER OF GOD through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. 1 Peter 1:3-5
[i] http://www.businessinsider.com/the-most-common-regrets-in-life-from-people-who-have-them-2015-9
[ii] http://secretregrets.com/2016/03/21/secret-regret-of-the-day-march-21-2016/
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