What would make your life better? If money was no object, if you had all the talent, time and resources needed, what would you change about your life? You can change all the external things about your life, but unless your heart changes, you will be just as miserable as you were before.
Negative behavior is the cause of many of our problems
Bad behavior is a defense mechanism used to protect ourselves from hurt.
These behaviors ruin relationships rather than healing them.
1. Tender Mercy
You must replace hard handedness and anger with tender mercy.
Tender σπλάγχνον describes the heart, the seat of our emotions;
Mercy οἰκτιρμός is a heart in which compassion resides.
God the Father of mercies, comforts us in our difficulties. 2 Cor 1:3-4
2. Kindness
You must replace lack of sympathy and callousness with kindness.
Kindness χρηστότης is the willingness to do good and help others.
Kindness is a gift.
We are no more like God than when we give.
3. Humility
You must replace arrogance and boasting with humility.
Humility, ταπεινοφροσύνη is having a modest opinion of one’s importance.
Humility takes an interest in other people instead of focusing on self.
4. Meekness
Replace harshness and wrath with gentleness.
Meek, πρᾳότης means a mild temperament.
“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Pro 15:1
5. Longsuffering
You must replace impatience with forbearance.
Longsuffering μακροθυμία is bearing with one another.
6. Forgiveness
You must replace vindictiveness with forgiveness.
You must forgive the same way Christ forgave you.
Forgiveness χαρίζομαι is a gift that you give yourself and others.
Forgiveness sets you free.
7. Love
We need to replace animosity and indifference with love.
Love ἀγάπη means unconditional acceptance and affection.
Perfect love casts out all fear! Don’t be afraid to love.
Love is the only way to bring about perfect unity.
These are Seven beautiful characteristics which when put into practice will enable you live your best life ever. If you as an individual practice them, you will find joy, hope and harmony. “Making a decision to put on the New Man won’t instantaneously and automatically change your life. But the decision to put on the New Man will immediately and dramatically impact your life.” Why? Because when your change the aim of your life, and decide to adopt a brand new set of behaviors, that decision in and of itself is so powerful it produces a dramatic life shift! Once you get a taste of freedom, you will want to live your best life ever!
What would make your life better?
If money was no object, if you had all the talent, time and resources needed, what would you change about your life? What is the most important thing you would do differently if you could change anything about yourself?
Maybe you’d shed some weight? Maybe you’d find true love? Maybe you’d buy a big mansion with a swimming pool? Maybe you’d get your health back? Maybe you’d spend more time with family? Or maybe you’d finally get that career opportunity you’ve always wanted.
Now these are very good things. And I wouldn’t want to hold you back from any of them. However, even if you could escape the life you now live, and get inside the skin of a wealthy, healthy, successful life, none of these things are guaranteed to bring joy, satisfaction, harmony or peace.
when I was about 16 years old, contemplating leaving home, and striking out on my own… leaving my family and everything behind, my brother Doug came to me and told me, “You might be able to run away from your old life, but problem is, that you take yourself wherever you go, and the problems you now have will follow you unless you deal with them. You can’t run away from your problems.”
You can change all the external things about your life, but unless your heart changes, you will be just as miserable as you were before.
So my purpose today is to tell you how to live your best life ever, whether or not you are rich or poor, healthy or sick, alone or among family and friends. My goal is to explain to you how you can stop the bad attitudes and habits of your old life and get your life back so that you can be a brand new you with a brand new life!
If you want to begin living your best life ever, you need to decide that the most important thing in your life is that you want to become like Jesus. You must allow the Word of God to transform you. And you need to replace your old attitudes with new ones.
Let me make it simple, “put off the old man and put on the new man.” In its simplest form, this means that you make a decision to reject the old value system that is hurting you, and to replace it with a new, biblical value system which will change your life for the better!
Last week we said it was like changing lanes in a bowling alley. You have to make a decision to stop bowling in the Devils bowling alley, and change lanes, and start bowling in God’s lane. That means changing the behaviors you are aiming for. You stop aiming for Anger, Wrath, Lying, Malice, Filthy Language and Blasphemy, and you begin aiming for Love, Humility, Kindness, Meekness, Forgiveness, Tender Mercy and Longsuffering.
Now let me ask you these all important questions; why do we humans become angry so easily? Why do we so easily fudge the truth? Why do we so quickly cuss or swear? Why do we naturally think about bitterness and revenge?
Well, for one thing, it’s our defense mechanism, isn’t it? In order to protect ourselves from hurt, we strike out in anger at others. And for another thing, we don’t want to look bad or to look stupid, so we use these emotions to defend our character. Another reason is because it may be the only way we know how to respond. We learned these behaviors and practiced them all our lives, and we don’t know how to change them. And then the bottom line is that we are sinners, and the Devil has deceived us into bowling in his lane. We naturally gravitate toward the negative! We have a heap of a big problem.
And we know that these bad behaviors are not good for us, or for our relationships. In fact these behaviors repel others instead of attracting them. They ruin relationships rather than healing them. They drive people away instead of drawing them near to us in friendship.
That’s what we want to avoid. The old toxic me which does nothing but cause problems for myself! And the new man is what we want to gain! The beautiful new me brings me the best life I’ve ever hoped to live. Life change for the Christian is about Installing the few key disciplines required for major breakthroughs. Once you begin to change you will feel the momentum. Catch this, and you’ll be unstoppable.
Let’s make a list of the attitudes and behaviors that you should aim for. Let me describe the kind of life we all want to live. And then let’s grab hold of it with the most gusto we can! The first thing to characterize your new life is tender mercies:
1. Tender Mercy
If you want to overcome your anger, you must replace hard handedness and anger with tender mercy.
Tender Mercy is two words: In the Greek language, the word Tender describes the heart; σπλάγχνον splagchnon which is talking about the inner seat of our emotions and feelings. There are several words for Mercy in the New Testament. This one, οἰκτιρμός oiktirmos, describes compassion for the ills of others. If you put the two words together you get “a heart in which compassion resides.”
Tender Mercies is something God models for us in 2 Cor 1:3-4 “3 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; 4 Who comforts us in our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble.”
If you want to live your best life ever, I suggest that you replace your irritation over others shortcomings with compassion. Instead of being combative, we need to realize that irritating people are struggling, and the way to help them is to be understanding rather than angry.
Mt 5:7 Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
2. Kindness
Be kind. If you want to touch people’s hearts, you must replace lack of sympathy and callousness with kindness. Kill them with kindness.
The idea behind kindness χρηστότης chrestotes is that we are ready and willing to do good to others by helping meet their needs and requests, and even go beyond their needs. And the root of this word is “gift.” Kindness is a gift.
I remember my first flat tire. I was newly married and flat broke. I pulled into Les Schwab knowing I could not pay to have the tire fixed. When they were finished, I asked, “how much will this cost me?” The man kindly smiled at me, and said “nothing! It’s free!” I didn’t know that was a policy, but it was a kind policy! I was overwhelmed with gratitude. And because of their kindness, that’s where I buy my tires.
The story is told of a soldier during WW2 who saw a poor, raged boy peering into the window of a bakery, salivating over the fresh baked pastries inside. The man went in, bought a dozen donuts and gave them to the boy. As he was walking away, the boy pulled on his sleeve and asked, “Mister, are you God?” We are no more like God than when we give.
3. Humility
We need to be humble. If you want deeper relationships with the people you love, you must replace arrogance and boasting with humility.
My daughter told me the other day that arrogance and boasting isn’t attractive to her. She’s had guys wanting to date her, and they try to impress her with their exploits or their wealth, and she just bluntly tells them, “Those things don’t interest me.” Well, what does? Humility was her answer.
The word humility, ταπεινοφροσύνη tapeinophrosune is having a modest opinion of one’s importance. Rather than trying to impress people with your talents or accomplishments, to show that you are as good or better than others, humility is more about taking an interest in other people instead.
A woman was once graced to meet two of England’s greatest leaders. Afterwards she was asked about it. She said, Oh, when I met the first, he led me to believe that he was the most intelligent and amazing man in the world, but the second leader made me feel that I was the most important woman in the world.
4. Meekness
We need to be meek. If you want to get along with people, replace harshness and wrath with gentleness.
The word Meek, πρᾳότης praotes means gentleness, or a mild temperament.
Proverbs 15:1 tells us that a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” When you are verbally ambushed, it’s just natural to fling mud back. … and then the fight began. If only I could temper my responses to be more gentle and meek! It would sure save me a lot of problems!
5. Longsuffering
We need to suffer long. Now I have bunched this one together with the next statement, because it seems to be the same thing. Longsuffering is bearing with one another.
Longsuffering means μακροθυμία makrothumia patience, endurance, perseverance, slowness in avenging wrongs; it means to suffer with wrongs for a long time. This is really good marriage advice. You will discover that your partner is a flawed human being who seems to make the same mistakes all the time, and who treats you poorly over and over and over. If you don’t’ have patience and forgiveness, you’re not going to make it.
6. Forgiveness
We need to forgive. If you want to be free from bitterness, anxiety and turmoil you must replace vindictiveness with forgiveness.
Now verse 13 says, “forgive one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.”
Forgive in the same way Jesus did when he hung on the cross and cried, “father forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing!”
You must not seek revenge, you must grant forgiveness. Forgiveness χαρίζομαι charizomai is a gift that you give yourself, which releases you from your feelings of anger, bitterness and turmoil. If you want spiritual and emotional freedom, you must learn to forgive.
Forgiveness doesn’t let the other person off the hook, they still have to deal with God. But forgiveness is a gift that offers pardon to that person, if he will take it, and offers restoration if he or she will receive it. Forgiveness is one of the most important relationship secrets and one of the most important things you can do for your own self. If you want freedom, you need to forgive.
7. Love
But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection
We need to love one another. Who doesn’t want love? Love is the queen of virtues. Husbands love your wives. Wives love your husbands. Parents should love children, and children should love parents.
Love is ἀγάπη agape which means unconditional acceptance; it is deep affection, good will, and gracious benevolence.
There is some debate as to what the opposite of love is. Some suggest that it is hatred, and I’m sure that is true. We should love instead of hate. Some think it is the opposite of indifference. If love is great emotional caring, indifference is not caring at all. We must not be indifferent to the needs of others. Some say that love is opposite of fear. If you fear someone, it can turn into indifference or hatred.
But perfect love casts out all fear! Don’t be afraid to love, even though love makes you vulnerable. Love anyway. It is the only way to bring about perfect unity between family and friends. Love is the bond of perfection.
So here we are. Seven beautiful characteristics which when put into practice will enable you live your best life ever. This is one of the best descriptions of your new life, anywhere. If you as an individual practice them, you will find joy, hope and harmony. If your family practices them, they will find unity and peace. And if our church puts these into practice, we are going to be the nicest group of people in town. They will say, “Oh how they love one another!”
This is life changing. Put off the old man, and put on the new man.
If you are struggling with anger, bitterness, frustration or lack of forgiveness, how’s that working for you? Honestly, if you’re being honest with yourself, you know, that deep down inside, the old life not good, and you need to change. Are you ready to make a dramatic shift from the old man to the new man? Are you ready to live your best life ever? Are you ready to make a change that will make your life better than ever?
Now, I know it’s difficult, and I know you will probably fail over and over. But I want you to mull over this one important thought: “Making a decision to put on the New Man won’t instantaneously and automatically change your life.” Just because you make a decision to aim your life in a better direction and put on the new man, doesn’t mean you won’t mess it up. It’s going to happen. You won’t change overnight.
But the decision to put on the New Man will immediately and dramatically impact your life. Why? Because when your change the aim of your life, and decide to adopt a brand new set of behaviors, that decision in and of itself is so powerful it produces a dramatic life shift!
It’s like opening the door to a new life. It is like bowling in a new lane. Are you going to throw a few gutter balls? Yeah! Are you going to get a strike every time? No. But the difference is that now you are aiming at a different set of outcomes. And that is huge. It’s crucial to avoid becoming dismayed when you don’t see immediate effects, and to ensure you keep generating good results. What you need to do is take little steps, because daily, small, positive actions are the secret to long-term success.
Let me close with this thought:
CRY has 3 letters but so does JOY, HATE has 4 letters but so does LOVE, LYING has 5 letters but so does TRUTH, ENEMIES has 7 letters but so does FRIENDS, NEGATIVE has 8 letters but so does POSITIVE, OLD MAN has 6 letters but so does NEW MAN.
It’s your Choice. You get to choose your behaviors. And the good news is the new man comes with a money back guarantee. If after three months you are dissatisfied, and you don’t like your new life of love, forgiveness and kindness, you can trade it back in. You can have your old one back at no cost, no questions asked. You can go back to being angry, gruff, bitter and unhappy if you want to, and no one can stop you. But I’m betting that once you get a taste of freedom, you will want to live your best life ever!
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